Episode 78: How to Balance Business and Marriage Without Burnout

High Performance Love Setup

SPEAKER_01 0:00

High performance love. Building a relationship while building a business.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

It's a lot easier said than done.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

A lot easier said than done. We are so excited because we are celebrating one year of the Coupley Fit podcast at Backlot Studios.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Shout out to Backlots, the number one spot for podcasting in Arizona.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Man, it's been incredible to be able to film here. We hope that you all have been enjoying the podcast. I will say some of the past conferences that we've been to, we've had people come up to us and mention the podcast. And these are people I would never imagine are even listening. And they are giving us our flowers. It feels so good because it motivates us. There was a time, y'all, and you've probably seen it, you know, based off of our cadence. We had to take a little bit of a step back because we were filming every week. Every Tuesday, we had an episode drop, and that was just a lot for us. So we scaled a little bit back in 2026. And so we hope that you guys have been enjoying the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Well, speaking of people enjoying it, I mean, I would say to your point, it was so rewarding. Um, and we were in Dubai and somebody was like, oh my gosh, I love the podcast. Like, let me, let me like, make sure that you guys listen. I follow it on socials, and they weren't talking about like our other platforms or other social content. It was specifically the pod. So just I really appreciate it. I know us being able to share, it's a um it's a blessing because we're able to share our experiences and our journey. And I think there's so many couples that we come in contact with. I know sometimes people, if this is your first time listening, you're like, how long y'all been together? How long y'all been married? So I mean, to be able to think about we're coming up on 10 years married.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

In October.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

And I will say it's like it's crazy because on one end, it doesn't feel like that at all. No, it still feels like um I could say newlywed in some ways, of just like enjoying each other in a time span. But at the same time, when we count the years and go through the things we experienced in each year, oh man. Man, we look back and we're like, No, I had a moment of silence for that. It's like, no, it's been 10. We'd have put a 10-piece in. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

10 piece will plus another two. So, you know, of dating. So 12 uh in total. But just to quickly give a little bit of background on why we also started the podcast was because we did want to be able to use our voices. You can only use your voice so much on social media, at least in my opinion. And again, right, Instagram and some of these other platforms, everyone's showing the highlights. And so we wanted to take it a step further and say, you know what, let's show what's really going on behind the scenes, what we're also hearing and seeing, but then the what we've been through and be able to just give a voice potentially to the voiceless, or we always hope that an episode blesses you and that you share it with somebody, or that you listen to it with your spouse and ultimately create generational health and have your, you know, your kids listen to this and and so forth and so on. So we just again appreciate you so much for listening. Every like, every comment, every share. We appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

And I want to say also shout out, um, I won't say any names, but shout out to your mentees dad. Come on out, who I've known for many years since high school, but he hit me up and he'll he'll tag out Snapchat. He'll hit me and be like, yo, I'm actually like, I'm tuning in right now, yes, tagging us. Yo, this really resonated with me. Um, he's listening on his way to work and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 3:31

So we've been seeing him on his health journey.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Come on. And so to be able to see um the things that you know, we always talk about, right? We be able to we want to be able to be a blessing by teaching what we taught through living what we learned so other people can taste to see that the Lord is good.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

The Lord is good.

Why We Started The Podcast

SPEAKER_00 3:47

And so when we think about that, and people are actually tagging or they're saying, like, yo, I've I'm on a hike right now with my family because I noticed this difference. Another thing. Yes, another thing. Yes, speaking of high performance teams and just couples, uh, we like to, we always have asked, and we we we always say we don't have all the answers, but we always ask couples that have got more years, more time than us. Like, what are what's the secret, or what are things that have helped you have a strong foundation? One of the things we've learned over the past 10 years that I think is gonna be helpful for somebody, whether they're in business together or you're just trying to function and operate well together is that integration of being um supportive and collaborative in business. Because what I was thinking, we've had quite a few couples on the health and wellness side, more so where we we know one spouse, and then all of a sudden we're seeing the other spouse with a conflict with them as well.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

Ayo, I love it. I mean, and indirectly, because this is just how we live our life, honestly. Like this is how we live our lives. And so to see that other people are seeing it, but then also taking it a step further and putting things into action, it's so impactful to see and it really brings a lot of joy to us and really fills our cup in that way.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

Um it's a blessing. So I just I wanted to just preface and say that because um those are the moments that make it so worthwhile when you can have a lasting impact on somebody else's marriage, relationship, family. Um, and even if it's small, like it's it's it's not lost on us.

SPEAKER_01 5:24

Come on now, those small changes lean results.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

That's the difference between that's between staying married and come on now, speak it. Come on.

Turning Listeners Into Real Change

SPEAKER_01 5:32

So I want to ask you a question. Because we're talking about high performance love, right? High achieving love, we have been in business together for coming up on nine years, like we mentioned. We really started our podcast back in 2020 after the murder of George Floyd. That's when we really felt compelled to use our voices. What are your feelings or what are your thoughts on ways that we have separated the business and then our personal time? I would say that that's definitely one of our frequently asked questions from other people or even other couples is how do you make the differentiation between this is our personal time and this is the business time?

Business And Marriage Boundaries

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Yeah, and I would say this is something that we don't have figured all the way out. Like we're we're constantly making an effort. Right. Because I think you have to have an adjustment. It's absolutely seasonal as well.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

Let's be real here.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Seasonal, I think there's the other aspect of, and I and we're really blessed for this is that we're in business together, but we're also passionate about what we do.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

So sometimes it's not a matter of like, oh, I only want to talk about work and it's seven or eight o'clock at night, but it's like, yo, we just got this email back. Did you see what we just achieved? Or like, did you see what we're doing with this, this, and this or this partner? And I think still creating that boundary and reminding ourselves that, and and I love that we say this, regardless of this business is successful or not, which obviously we always want to claim success and that it's successful, but whether the business is successful or fails, this marriage is gonna last. And this has to be successful and it has to be what we prioritize. And so just as I think about that, us having the on and an off switch, I think it does make a big difference. And you'll remind me, sometimes it's more you than me, but you'll be like, hey, I don't want to hear about work right now, or hey, we gotta shut it off, or we'll be at dinner and I'm like, hey, this is the only win that we're gonna talk about from work, and then we're gonna talk about all personal. Yeah. Because it does like it can consume or take over. But I will say one thing that's good about the business and being in it together, I see a lot of couples that we see where there's one person focused on the business and the the spouse feels like they're on the outside and like can't connect or be drawn in. So we don't have that challenge because we're in it together, but you also don't want to make it all about work and that you're losing sight of the relationship and the togetherness.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yes. And to add to your point, right, we've done a couple of things. So we've incorporated something called a hard stop, where typically that's around dinner time, right? When dinner, when dinner hopefully it's earlier. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

It should be, it should be before five at five or a little earlier.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

Yes, yes. But again, right, when you own your own business, you know and understand that sure you're making your own schedule, but you're still working 12, 14 hour days.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Yeah, it means working harder.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

It's not all the free time. It's not all the free time. And so typically when dinner happens, that's when we switch gears. Yeah. But it's interesting because I know for me, if I notice that our our past few conversations uh have been more business, then I'll intentionally be like, okay, we need to stop talking about business. We need to get back to the personal. Okay, what are three wins from today? What are some of your goals that you've achieved? Right. Like really start getting into the personal aspect is so critical because we have seen that married couples who work together end up becoming business partners and only become business partners. They forget that they're married, it becomes a roommate situation, it becomes a business partner situation. And then we start hearing, well, we're better off as business partners than maybe being uh spouses. And so again, like you mentioned before, we are asking other couples, especially other married couples. And you can also, you know, you as a listener, we highly encourage you to go back and listen to some of the couples that we've had on and hear what they have to say. How do they balance? And some people outright said, like, we don't have that down yet. And that's okay. I think that's something that uh as long as you're working on it and you're making small changes, intentional changes, then I think your spouse will also be able to understand and give you that grace.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

Yeah, and I think an example of even working on it is just listening to this episode, right? Like this is a huge step in a stride. And um the fact that it's not it, I mean, I think so many people want you to have it figured out. And the more that people tell you that they have it all figured out and they've got all the answers, is typically the less that they have it all figured out and the less answers that they have.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

We're lifelong learners, so we we don't always have it figured out.

SPEAKER_00 10:08

For sure.

Hard Stops And Daily Wins

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Uh, I know for us, intentionality is something that is a big piece of not only our business and how we're able to also move so fast within our business, but then also the intentionality of, you know, I know this last conference we were in San Diego and we were supposed to, we stayed an extra day.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Really just, you know, like really not even.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

We just did a later flight, honestly. The conference ended around 12, maybe 1 p.m. And then we just did like a 7 or 8 p.m. flight so that we can always give ourselves a little bit of time to explore whatever city we're in. And I remember we were sitting at breakfast and I said to you, I was like, Hey, do you want to go to SeaWorld? It's it's right down the street. It's honestly a 10-minute Uber ride. Do you want to go do that? And um, I'm so glad we did.

One Year Podcast Milestone

New Experiences Keep Love Alive

SPEAKER_00 10:55

I I thought it was gonna be Shark Week.

SPEAKER_01 10:57

Well, me too.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

Sharks were down.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

We can say that about SeaWorld. We're gonna leave a review.

SPEAKER_00 11:01

Sharks were down in SeaWorld. I feel like just, and this is for any any park, any amusement, you gotta put that on the flyer.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

You know what I mean? I might not come today.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

If I feel like it's like it's like a it's like a restaurant. If you're out of spicy mayo or spicy aioli, you gotta put that up there. We're out of breakfast sandwiches. You gotta put the sharks are down now. Once I get in the park at the shark exchange.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

And no performances. I was, I mean, what are okay?

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Come on, then they didn't tell you you had you have to pay for the uh the sea lions? Yeah, to feed the sea lions. I'm not gonna put their$12.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

$12 for like two pieces of fish or sardines. I said, girl.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Then then they don't tell you, can you pack your own sardines?

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Okay, we talked about that, and that is definitely a health aspect.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

It might be front of the phones, they might be like, hey server. When did you when did you un when did you unpackage those sardines?

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

The sea lines had a lot of personality.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

They didn't, and you really enjoyed them. But again, that's a great way of being able to balance the business and then also the personal because we had such a great time in Sea World. Although we do have some feelings about it, we can talk all day about how the orca did look depressed. Orca looked depressed.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

I was so I gotta ask y'all something. We talked about this is a little bit of a side note. A little concerned, but I'll tell you what would have woke that orca up. You'd have threw one of them sea lines in there, boy.

SPEAKER_02 12:21

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

I'm sorry, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

It's just I was I thought it was giving national geographics predator. I thought it was gonna be shark week.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

It wasn't shark week. So I'm gonna.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

I mean, do you think that they're throwing a sea line in for the sharks? What are we doing here?

SPEAKER_00 12:34

They're not, but there is a time where the sharks do eat, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Just saying.

SPEAKER_02 12:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Um, but but I I just I I love that example because I think so often in relationships, you're not having new experience. Well, not really relationships, but marriage in particular, where people are like, oh, it's business. Like all we do is talk about business or the kids or this. And it becomes a thing where you didn't experience something new together.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

And I it's unfortunate, but fun. Fun.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

You have to have fun in your relationship.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Because a lot of times, what do what do people always say? And I don't love a good Kiki. And I don't want to just say it's just what people say, but it's also what you see on TV, right? When you're seeing the shows, you're seeing even the movies, it's like it's not reality. It's not reality, but also you're seeing somebody that's like in a marriage, typically, or in a relationship, and it's like, oh, it's boring, they're not investing into it, and they go and have all of this fun with this new person that they find and this person they're investing into. And it's like, but you realize that that person that you've been with, you can go do fun things and these new experiences together. And I think that's a thing that just can get overlooked. We're like we experienced something new together that was completely different. And just on a side note, when it came to SeaWorld, I mean, they got live performances. You can see Soulja Boy and Bow Wow at SeaWorld.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Oh my gosh, pimple.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

I was like, what?

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Yin yang tweet.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Little John and these side boys at SeaWorld is different.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Okay, we're getting off topic here, but you're absolutely correct. I was shocked, and I sure and have said to myself, I would absolutely come.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

But if oh, and can I tell you another thing about SeaWorld just for adults and people that are Do we need a SeaWorld episode? We may have to, but I'm just more so this is for somebody that's thinking outside the box. They're really doing these things for the adults. I mean, it was like a liquor store in there.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

It was. There was a bar around every corner. Well, who's spending the money? It's true.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Come on out, get you liquored up to buy some more trickets.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Well, that sounds like that's stressful.

SPEAKER_00 14:28

It is stressful.

When Business Stress Hits Home

SPEAKER_01 14:28

So let's talk about business stress. Yeah. Can that spill into your marriage or relationship? Or do you feel like you can separate the two?

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Absolutely. It spills over. Stress always spills over. I think right now we talked about uh recently just you know, value, prices, how expensive things are getting. I mean, my gosh, everything they did a chart and they just had like all the things that prices are up. I mean, the amount of people that I've seen posting at the gas pump showing how much it costs them to fill up their tank of gas. And it's like these are the tough realities. So when that's the case, just on a personal consumer side for anybody, no matter who you are, now you have to think about what are the trickle downs or the impact on your business. So if you are a small business owner, and we've seen it, right? Like I've seen more posts in the last six months to a year, really six months, of business owners and people talking about either a layoff, a struggle, the fact that, like, hey, we're you know, we're doing a final sale or a lot, I mean SAC's fifth, I guess, Neiman Last Call, like brands that have been like Staples are now last call, making the transition. And when you think about that, if these are billion-dollar brands, what are happening, what's happening to the mom and mom and pop shop? What's happening to the local baker or local restaurant, right? And they're the struggles are trickling down. So when we think about that trickle down, what happens to the husband or wife or to the spouse that are running that CPA firm or running that restaurant or that business? It really is, it's stressful, it's strained. And we all know one of the biggest challenges is around finances and the struggle when it comes to the relationship. Because now you're having to have more critical conversations. Correct. And what we realized when it comes to financial struggles, just having gone through our own experiences early on and while we were married is that it only intensifies what's already going on.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:26

So if you're not communicating and now there's a money challenge or struggle, it's like it's only more intensified, right? Like if you're hungry and then now you don't have money for lunch, it's like, oh man, it's even worse.

Family Pressure And Outside Voices

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Yes. And to your point, right? More stress. And I think what we're also seeing is why more people are focusing on their health and wellness right now. And we're seeing that trend happening there. But when it comes to your relationship, I will say again, there's seasons of relationships and there's seasons of businesses. So it's really important that if you are a couple that is in business or is in looking to get into business together, you have to be very clear on each other's roles. You have to be very clear on uh who the ultimate decision maker is. You need to be very clear on your finances, very clear on your business plan because that is just an additional stress that's added onto your marriage. So, like you said, things are only getting intensified when you also are starting to talk about a business. And if you are, you know, in a serious A, a serious B, you're trying to get some funding. You now have investors potentially breathing down your back. There's a lot of things that can trickle into your relationship, but it's very key that you try to know and understand that this is stress from the business and this is maybe stress from the marriage. And although those feel like they can overlap, making sure that you are taking the time to say, okay, what can we do intentionally that is going to help build our marriage? Because again, like you said in the beginning of the pod, this is the priority. And I think that that needs to be in the back of every couple's mind that's starting. Your marriage is the priority. Um, and so I think it's just really critical as we talk about that. So as we're mentioning stress, what would be some things that almost broke us that took a big toll on us that made us say, hey, let's take a step back and reevaluate what we're doing and see if this is something we want to move forward with, or how are we going to persevere and be resilient and get through this?

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Yeah, I would say something that almost broke us. I would say, you know, um family.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

I mean, just the outside factors of us. And when I say family and I talk about it, I mean, before we launched our business, we were working together within a family business, working with my family, which again, you can love your family, but it doesn't mean that it's always the right fit when it comes to doing business together. And so when I think about that, that was a lot of like that was a root of a lot of challenges. And when when I it's crazy now too, being um, you know, removed, you know, nine years, and we're like, man, think about the decisions, the tough decisions that you have to make for us, because that's what we're thinking about, right? Sometimes it has to be less about what does someone else want for you and for your life, and what role do you play in someone else's plan, their plan or their plan for you, versus what do we want to build together? And I think a lot of times it just speaks to you.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

Is it manufactured or is it manifested?

SPEAKER_00 19:38

That's such a great call out and remembering that in your relationship, in your marriage, but also that trickle down in businesses, you're the co-founders.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

Right? You're the husband and wife. And I use co-founders because that's us, but like you're together. It's you making that decision. But when you start bringing in the family and other people's feedback and the outside voices, the outside voices of what they think you should be doing or what you should be working on, or let's add in some elements, right? I know there's a lot of people, whether it's business related or just family, where maybe your family's helping you out. Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Maybe started.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Maybe they're helping you get started. Maybe they helped you with the house, or they're helping you with the rent, or they're helping you with whatever it may be. But now they feel like because I'm helping you financially, I've got to say in the way that you're doing things.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

Right. I've got to say in not quite an angel investor.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

But no, but if you think of or a silent partner. But for real, somebody, somebody right.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

Somebody's giving me a voice.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Somebody right now is listening and they're thinking, like, I'm oh my gosh, I didn't realize that my parents or my so-and-so was my silent investor, or they were the that other voice where it's like, wait, can I actually tell them no? Is it a request or is it a demand? Okay. That you're gonna be over here for Sunday dinner, or that you're you know, right? Like there's these things where it's like, hey, because I'm helping fund you, you have to give me access to your grandkids. Sure. Or you have to come on the family vacation. Like I remember there was a time where, like, if we were going on a vacation or for me to get time off, I'm working with the family. It's like it's got to be family oriented. Like, if this doesn't tie back to the family, like, what do you mean you need time off? What do you need time for? PTO. PTO, what do you need time for? And so those things I just use as an example because I know it's gonna resonate with somebody, but also these are things that you have to work through and address when it comes to staying whole, keeping your foundation, and asking, what is this life? What is this business? What does this look like for us? And also being willing to revisit that and reset or recalibrate. If I mean, because I mean, we were building our business early on, and I think about something else that almost broke us.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Early.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Early on, being outside in that hot sun, teaching those boot camps. Oh my gosh, that's it. I mean, we used to be like, man, we know we have to build the brand, we have to connect with people, this is what they're asking for. But man, we are not trying to that was really during kind of like

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Like the CrossFit era.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

It was.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

So people really wanted to be in person. In class.

Should Couples Start A Business

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Like, no, you guys are leading the way. I want y'all to lead the class. To lead it. And we're like, wait, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

We don't want to have to be here every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday for this many hours and be so realizing where our niche was, and we we much rather be on a platform like this, sharing our journey, sharing our experience, than be physically coaching, which there's a space for all of it. And I think in business too, realizing that you can be good or great at something, but that doesn't mean that that has to be the path you go down.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Absolutely. It's so interesting, too, that you that you mentioned some of those pieces because, like you said, family and friends are typically that's your first kind of round of marketing as well when you talk about word of mouth and those things. But then also, like you said, can be your first round of funding as well. Uh, what comes with that? Knowing that if you do receive some sort of funding, there's always an attachment, there's always a string to it, whether again, that is from family or that is from the bank, that is from investors.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Um, and then also what they say is there are there strings attached?

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Yes, yes, yes. But then also, right, when when you are thinking about the financial component or you are thinking about building your team and expanding and scaling, there's so many challenges that come with building a business. And it's really critical to be able to differentiate between this is a business challenge, but this isn't a marriage challenge. Although it can seem like they are the same or feel like they are the same, it's very critical that you maybe write things out and say, okay, what's happening on the business side? What's happening on the marriage side? Because you might find out, oh, the business side, we're just going through a transition period, which is why it feels like there are so many challenges, but we're solid in the marriage. Everything is looking great. And so I want to ask you, would you recommend building or starting a business with your spouse? Is it for all couples?

SPEAKER_00 24:10

No.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

It's not for all couples. A lot of people I mean, I didn't mean to cut you off, but I just wanted to jump in there quick.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

It's not for all, it's not for all couples. It's not for the faint of heart. It's not.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

I mean, if you just think about the average, you look at the stats.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Well, just starting a business, period. Whether it's with your spouse or not, just starting a business, period. Is extremely it's difficult.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

You're taking two things that are extremely difficult. The Bible talks about marriage is the greatest mystery.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Come on now.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

That's one. But then you talk about business and entrepreneurship is one of the big, like this, the odds are stacked against you more in business than they are in marriage. To have a successful business, like it's it takes a lot of work, a lot of time. And so I bring that up because if you're in a in a new marriage and an early marriage and you're trying to, or even if you've been married for a long time, you're adding a whole nother element. So as we talk about like my recommendation, I would say it almost has to be a I say no, so that you can listen to this part and then figure out like, no, no, no, okay, we've checked all those boxes, we're the right ones to do it together. Because I think like there are a lot of things that we uniquely have together that have helped us be successful, but it's the perseverance. Like, I just wouldn't, I wouldn't recommend it for everybody on like a oh, you can just hit the ground running, it's gonna be easy. You can go ahead and do it. And just surely for the stats of I love what Ice Cube said, if you're not willing to put in five years and make no money and invest, and really it's costing you money for five years because you believe in it so much, you have passion for the idea, you're willing to do it for free, right? You're willing to volunteer your time or invest. Most people are not willing to do that. So those are the things that I would say first on why I would say, no, it's not for everybody. It's really for the select few that are passionate about the idea. Other people are asking you for whatever that service or product is. Because a lot of times we have an idea as like individuals or couples. It's like, oh man, I love my apple pies and I'm gonna sell apple pies, but nobody's asking you to buy your apple pies. And it's like that might not be the business that you need to start right now, you know. So I just, those are the contexts that come to my mind. And I know I don't want to seem uh pessimistic for somebody that's listening, but I just much rather be honest and real, having been on the side of done it and seeing the people that it didn't work out for, that I'm not selling you a pipe dream.

Traits That Make It Work

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Yes. To add to that, a couple of things. I would say individually, do you have grit? Are you able to, no matter what, I'm gonna stay up until things get finished. I'm going to make sure that what I gave my word that I'm gonna have this proposal over, I'm gonna make sure that I get it done. Are you somebody who is an overachiever? Are you somebody who can be resilient when you come up to hard challenges or problems? Because I guarantee you they will come up. Are you somebody who is also uh collaborative in a team player? Because a lot of partnerships or um just working with your spouse is you have to be collaborative. So if you're not collaborative in your marriage already, then I'm gonna say hold fast, or that's something that you need to work on before you start a business. Um, so grit resilience, um, honesty also between the two of you as well, where you're not taking things to heart. You're realizing, okay, I'm separating my married self and you talking to my married self to okay, you're talking to the business self. So let's look at it from that lens of what needs to happen in order for the business to be successful. And I think they're not easy conversations to always have. Sometimes they are. Most of the time they're not, just because there's so many, there can be a lot of curveballs that come your way. But yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

And the maturity that it requires, right? To the emotional maturity to turn the personal switch off and go to the business. Correct. Or something happens on the personal or the business side, because that's the other element, right? Typically, you have access to information that you don't typically have when you're in business with a spouse or a partner, right? So I say that to say i.e.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

I knew how to push your buttons. Correct.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

So you don't want to be pulling from the personal side when you're in business. Like I know you didn't have any you didn't eat your breakfast this morning. No wonder you're you're cranky in the meeting.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

No, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Nobody else knows that they missed their oatmeal this morning. You don't need to call that out, right? Or on the flip side, right? You're talking about business on the personal, and it's like, wait, like, why are you coming for me? Because I had a you know a tough meeting or I sent the wrong email. And it's like we're supposed to be on family time right now. Right. And I just think it's those are really great call-outs on the emotional maturity, the grid. Do you have those things that you're aligned on? And I think the other biggest one that people don't talk about just from that other entrepreneurship aspect is are you financially set up for success to branch off and start your own business? Because a lot of times, right, people have this idea of like, oh, I thought of an idea, I started a business, the business is making money, I'm now successful. I quit my job in the first like week or two or whatever. And it's like, you know, most people are like literally have their job, have something they're working on, they're building this idea or their entrepreneurship on the weekends, after hours. Like, are you willing, like you said, on that grit to put in that extra time? Are you that passionate about what you're doing? Because a lot of people realize like, I want the glitz and the glamour of business owner, but I don't want to put in the work and the time.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

And then I'd also say to look at successful couples. And if you can read more about them, see what's working for them, if that's a part of your strength, and that's another sign for you of, okay, they've been successful. There's been multiple couples that I've seen at the level that I want to be. And so therefore, I feel like I can move forward. Um, I would also say that support is another key piece as well. Are you able to support your partner where, you know, there may be a topic or an aspect of the business that your partner knows better than you do? Are you willing to be open to feedback? Are you willing to be open to uh critical conversations? Because if you're not, then it really gets difficult to be in business with your spouse. And I can guarantee you that it will spill over into your marriage. And then, like we mentioned before, you're turning into business partners rather than spouses, or it's you don't have either. So um I think it's just really critical to look back into yourself first and then also look how you work together as a couple. And if you again are seeing the strengths of other successful couples, then move forward. Um, but it's not easy and it's not for the faint of heart. Um, but you were you were saying, you know, I hope we don't sound too pessimistic. We really just want to be honest and real with you because we have seen it too often, honestly, where one person is highly invested into the business and then they are literally dragging their spouse along, but the spouse wants all the credit. They want to be in the in the in the bright lights in the shine. And it's like, well, hold on, I'm the one doing all of the work. And then that's how resentment builds. And resentment is like little drops of water that's coming down before the flood that happens. So it's just being very mindful to separate the two, but then making sure that this is something that's suitable for you. If not, no big deal. Stick, take you can still take some of these same principles and use them in your marriage as well.

Alternatives To Building From Scratch

SPEAKER_00 31:52

100%. And I think too, like, you know, exactly to that point. So many people think that the path has to be entrepreneurship and starting a business together. If you feel like you and your partner, after listening to this, are like, you know what? Ooh, maybe we don't need to start our physical business together, that's totally fine. There's other opportunities to have income or passive income that don't require starting a business. Right. Right. You can have your stock portfolio, you can invest, you can do different things that maybe don't require like you're going in and you're having to like run operations and do all of those pieces. So I just think that's a really like another big call-out, right? Like, if you know, I'm just using the example. If you're in a situation where like you can, because I know right now too, there's a lot of um baby boomers that are selling their businesses. Absolutely. And there's that topic of wait, why should I start a business from scratch? You can buy a business when you can buy a business that's already running, already operating, has employees, but someone maybe just doesn't have the family to pass it down to or the kids aren't interested. Again, it's a case-by-case scenario and being mindful of that and saying, well, wait, if they already have the infrastructure, correct the cash flow, now you're having a conversation with your spouse of, hey, I don't need you to come in and join me and like help me run this business, but I want to make sure that we financially can afford to invest into this business. What do you think of this idea? We're gonna go after this here. I think those are the other conversations and things you can do. So I absolutely think it should be collaborative and that there should be that partnership. Because technically, like, yes, you're in marriage. That's a business in itself. Right. Like making the decisions of where the kids are gonna go, like where are we going on vacation? Like these are all business decisions that you're making within your marriage anyway. Your finances, your taxes, like write-offs.

SPEAKER_01 33:38

A GM or a head coach of your family, or uh, you know, you're the CEO of your own life, right?

Kids Timing And Season Tradeoffs

SPEAKER_00 33:45

I mean, you know, we think about a sports team, right? Like who's who's the person that's doing the groceries and the and the cooking? Like, that's the the team nutritionist, right? Right right there. And so everybody's playing a role. How are we working together? And then does it make sense to add to that? Because, like we talked about, even for us, and I just I I use this as another really big example where most people aren't willing to make the sacrifices, but we invested in our business, and people say, like, man, you guys are 10 years married, you guys haven't had any kids yet. Like, do you guys not want kids or not want to start a family? And it's like, we've made sacrifices because we always talk about it all the time. Man, I couldn't have imagined having gone through what we went through, starting a business, having started because something's got to give. Right? Like you look at the plate, it's like there's only so much time, and yeah, you can make room, but then it's like, well, you know what? We're not investing as much into the business, or we don't want to say we're not investing as much into our kids because we're so focused on the business, which we hear parents or people say that of like, man, I was on the grind, I didn't make it to the soccer tournaments or to the games or to the recitals, and we don't want to miss that either. So I just feel like there's definitely give and take as we look at the sacrifices when it comes to starting a business with your spouse.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Absolutely. And whatever season you're in, asking yourself the question, what is more important to me right now? If you are in business together and you do have kids or you do have aging parents, that's also kind of the phase also that we're heading into, then you need to realize that, okay, well, my job is, you know, or the business is requiring more for me, but my kids have been asking me to come to more games. My parents need a little bit more of my attention. So then you're gonna have to start picking, picking and choosing which areas do I need to focus in and which are the most important to me at this moment in time. Because one thing we know is, and that we've heard over time, your kids are only a certain age. You only get 18 summers. 18 summers. So how are you spending those 18 summers with your kids? Because after that, they are technically on their own, right? If we're just thinking about going to college and those things. But then with aging parents, they may need a little bit more of your attention. And just statistically, if you are an only daughter or the first daughter, a lot of that weight falls on your shoulders. And that can be a lot to carry, and you're carrying additional pressure into your business. And so that may be a great time to maybe bring in an operator. You don't always have to be the one that's operating your business as well. If you have the funds, you can go out and have somebody operate your business while you take that step back. Um, so there's there are ways to go about it. There are definitely opportunities for incredible gains and really just successful partnership and business. But at the end of the day, we will always reiterate it is about the marriage and it is about each other more than it is about the business. Hands down, always we will preach that, you know, till till we're we're blue in the face.

SPEAKER_00 36:48

And if anybody needs a sounding board, right? And you're like, man, I'm I want to go to the comments of this uh of this episode or or share my feedback, yes, do that. But also don't be afraid to to ask Jim and I or Chat GPT, Claude, whoever, hey, this is a scenario. Me and my spouse or me and my partner are getting married. We want to start this, we've got this idea. Does this make sense? Like, we also want to start a family, we want to buy give me a roadmap, give me a roadmap. Give me the goal.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

What would the business plan be, right?

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Like give me the checklist to think about these things before because a lot of times we often see it compounds.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

People, you get engaged, it's all about the the ring and how much, you know, how much you kind of make that a big deal. Then it's the wedding, right? And for a lot of people, we're seeing people are adjusting and aren't spending as much or being more flexible on the wedding. Then it's like, oh, well, these are the people things that people always would ask. Oh, well, when are you getting married? Oh, well, when are you buying a house? Oh, well, when are you starting your family and having kids? Oh, well, when are you having a second kid? It's like, yo. And if you think about all of those things, those are each major life changes, major life pivots, major investment and sacrifices, right? Like each of these things are like a huge milestone. And people are expecting it to just be like milestone, milestone, milestone. Whereas you can actually say, wait, wait, we got married. Actually, we're gonna not do this crazy big wedding and we're gonna do it at the backyard of our new house. Or we're gonna wait to start our family because we want to start a business, or we're starting our family now, but we're gonna wait to like it can be on your terms and in your your time. I think it's just really thinking about what works best for your relationship and your marriage.

Your Timeline And Closing CTA

SPEAKER_01 38:29

Absolutely. So again, we hope that this blessed you. If you know a couple that has been talking to you about starting a business or that is currently running a business, please share this with them. I'm sure that they will, you know, definitely know and understand what we are talking about. Um, if you are watching us on YouTube, please like and subscribe. Let us know your comments as well. We love to read them. We respond to every comment. Uh, also on social media, hopefully you are following us at Coupley Fit, C O U, P L E Y, F I T. Please like, comment, share. Let us also know how you feel about this. Are you looking to potentially start your business with your spouse? And did this bless you? As always, keep growing, glowing, and feeling better together. Bye.