WEBVTT
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Are you and your partner aligned?
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That's a big one.
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And I and I really think this almost um this might hit a nerve for somebody, but there are a lot of times where one person in a relationship is more active or more focused on their goals than the other person, and you're at different starting points.
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And so the alignment sometimes is a discovery that maybe you're not aligned, right?
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And you have to be the catalyst in your relationship, which sometimes it just starts with one person.
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You're absolutely correct.
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And to your point, I think it's accepting that you're different, accepting that you, like you said, you're we're starting at different points in our journey, but we also may have completely different goals, right?
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For you, you may want more, you're building your muscle.
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For me, it's just general health.
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I just want to feel better.
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So knowing that you can have different goals, that's perfectly fine as long as you are working together towards those goals in some way, right?
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Which is gonna come probably in the meal prepping session uh or you know, in the activity section, right?
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And those things, and then finding out what's common and doing that together.
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Yeah, I like the common part too, because so many times we think about the differences and it's like, oh, you don't, you know, I'm I'm ready to hit the weights and you're someone's doing cardio, but it's like, okay, where can we find that middle ground?
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And maybe it's literally walking at night after dinner or something that you, you know, cooking the meals, something that you all can find and bond over.
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Yeah, and I think that's a great point to go into just talking about your why.
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Why do you want to get healthy and be having that open conversation with each other of, hey, this is why I want to get healthy.
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I want to do it for the kids, right?
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I want to do it for my general health.
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I just want to feel better.
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We've all been there where it's like, I just don't feel good.
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I feel like, you know, we were just on a podcast yesterday, and one of the gentlemen was talking about he was running and he felt some of his body parts jiggling, and he said, Whoa, that was a wake-up call for me of I need to make some adjustments.
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No, that's facts.
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I mean, I remember I went on a real, a real bender, and I'm not talking about drinking, I'm talking about eating.
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I went on a real no calorie counting, free-for-all, eat whatever you want.
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And I really looked in the mirror after that weekend and I was like, this has to stop.
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I said, Oh no.
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I literally see it in my face.
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I see it, you know, like you said, you know, things jiggling or you know, some love handles.
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You're like, wait a minute, this, this, this isn't supposed to be like this.
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I was supposed to just enjoy the ice cream and the and the fried chicken.
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So yeah, but again, right, if you share your why with me, then that gives me an opportunity to at least remind you, maybe in that moment or after that moment where you are saying, like, hey, oh my gosh, you know, I was eating good this past weekend.
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And usually for for us, you'll come and tell me, like, man, gained this much, lost this much, right?
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Those type of things.
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And so again, just telling your partner this is why I want to get healthy, that's a great opportunity for you to be to remind them.
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But then also write that on a sticky note, right?
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And put that somewhere where you're seeing it so it can be a reminder every day of okay, yeah, I don't want to get active.
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You know, I could just go from, you know, working remotely in my office chair to going right over here a few steps to laying on the couch and and throwing a binge watching something, right?
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But it's like, okay, I saw the sticky note, my why, I want to feel better, so let me go and get a 10-15 minute walk-in.
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I I love that you said that, and something else that came to my mind to that point that we do uh and we've been doing more and more.
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You figure out when are your triggers, right?
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For example, a trigger is going to the grocery store when you're hungry.
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I mean, the how did the double stuffed Oreos get in the cart?
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I don't know.
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Maybe it's because can I dunk it?
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Yes.
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So all of those things happen when you're like, okay, so we can't go in here when we're on an empty stomach because I'm buying things I don't need.
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Right.
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Or we had a long day.
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We've got to have some food prepped at the house that's easy to be prepared.
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Uh, the um plant-based meatballs, like prepping chicken, whatever that might be to have a base and like, all right, so bread to make sandwiches, like something that you can make quickly so that it's not like, you know what, we're on the way home.
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Let's just pick up that fast food.
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It was almost the one.
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When I tell you, that's one of the ones, not only were we one exit, we were one decision away from Chick-fil-A.
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One decision away.
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And so sometimes it was just like, you know what, let's go ahead and save that.
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Because eating at home, I didn't make the extra fry, I didn't have six dipping sauces, which I love, and it and it makes a big difference, and you feel that difference, you feel those little small changes or swan changes stack up.
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No, yeah, you're absolutely correct.
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And that's right, going back to even one of our previous episodes where we were talking about discipline and how it's the microhabits.
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And that's what we're really talking about is the it's the building of the habit and then the sticking to the habit.
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And the more that you can make the positive decision, in some cases it's the right decision, the better off that you're gonna build that muscle of discipline and just saying, no, I know we have food at home.
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And sometimes you have to tell yourself what is your trigger.
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You know, one of your triggers may be I don't like to waste money, so therefore, I do have to remind myself therefore when I see the delivery fees, I feel offended.
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Yes.
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I'm like, wait, this is double the price because I gotta drop it off.
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How dare they?
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How dare you!
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But I just want to add something to that too.
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Just one thing that I also noticed it is a journey and a process.
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So meet your partner where they're at, or meet yourself and have grace for yourself.
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Because one thing that we noticed too was it started off and it was like, mm, got a taste for a dessert.
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I'm gonna go ahead and get the ice cream sandwich.
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Let's go ahead and order the full on, and it's like a big ice cream sandwich, too.
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Yeah.
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Then it went from the ice cream sandwich to frozen yogurt.
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Still the toppings.
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Don't get me wrong, there's still cookie dough and all the toppings, but it's frozen yogurt, so that's like a scale down.
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We're getting better.
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And then it went from that to like a yogurt bar right at home that we're preparing that's more controlled, but it's a healthier choice.
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So sometimes it also is like you don't have to completely remove things that you love.
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Because I think a lot of people feel like they had that concern of like, what's life like if I can't enjoy my favorite peanut butter, chocolate, whatever, or you know, there may be something you can replicate that's a protein bar that tastes like a hundred grand or something like that.
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Right.
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And to your point, and we're gonna get into a little bit of meal prepping later, but I quickly, just because you you mentioned this and it triggered something for me, if you are a person of color, you're there's gonna be some cultural foods that are staples.
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So one thing that we've been talking about too, just even on a larger scale, when you know you start talking about policy and and how you can change perspectives around that, is realizing that you don't have to get rid of your cultural foods.
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And so I was just talking to my hairstylist today, and she's Brazilian, and she was saying, I have rice with every single meal.
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That's just a part of my staple.
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That's what we do.
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It's cooked a certain way, all of these things, and even seasoned a certain way.
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And I said, Yeah, you shouldn't have to get rid of that because you think quote unquote carbs are bad.
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It's just about moderation, right?
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There's just little tweaks that you have to make to your cultural foods, but still being able to have that comfortable feeling that comes from it.
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Cause sometimes, you know, you get you get something for for us, right?
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When we cook catfish, whoo, that brings you right back to being at Granny's house, right?
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Like that's something that is nostalgic.
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It's something that really brings you back to your roots in full circle.
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And so getting rid of that and saying you can't have that, that's gonna be I just can't have it every day.
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Right, right.
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Like it's moderation, it's maybe even in the preparation, it's also in the portion size, right?
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So also think of it in that sense too that you don't have to get rid of your favorite foods completely, uh, especially when it comes to cultural foods.
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It's just adjustments.
