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So how have we changed physically since the time that we were married to I'm sorry before marriage and then now?
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You know, it's crazy that you say that.
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And I was wondering if I'll how transparent I was gonna be with the audience.
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Oh, but I'll say two things.
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I've definitely been eating good since we got married, without a doubt.
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So when people say, like, you know, you get married, and you know, basically I didn't let go of my physique and my figure, but I definitely was much more strict and strenuous on my diet and my training when we like first got together and we're gonna be.
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You were playing football.
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Exactly.
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I still hold myself to that standard, still to this day, you know.
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So I gotta get back right.
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Athlete is an athlete.
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I gotta get back right, and we gotta be.
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If you didn't hear the last episode, gotta stay gas station ready.
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That's so real.
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Uh physically, before, well, again, you and I, we used to, we used to work out heavily.
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I mean we still work out heavily.
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We do, but not that, not the same.
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I mean, you know, shout out to shout out to Larry Graham.
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LG.
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Shout out to Larry Graham.
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Woo! His program, and we were doing his programs.
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Whoa.
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I'll never forget the first time I did the program.
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Just so y'all know, I just want to tell y'all this.
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This is funny, and this is just a little behind the scenes.
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This was an absolute relationship test in the dating process, was taking D to my to work out with me at my trainer's gym.
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And she didn't even realize what was happening.
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One, we were about to go in deep water.
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This was a serious, intense workout.
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Yeah.
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Secondly, I love to work out with it was a full-on evaluation.
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So I was here for it, and then I remember I was, I thought I'm working out with you.
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Oh no, you're doing your own workout for the you're doing your own football workout.
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And uh, Larry just throws me in with some ladies training.
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I'm like, I don't even know who this is.
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Jump on in.
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Jump on in.
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Jump on in.
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He's like, yeah, so she's doing this for 15 reps.
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This is something the other.
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I'll never forget.
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And again, I will not give up.
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Like, that's the grit part is I will literally throw up if I need to.
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And I almost did.
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I was like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
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Keep going.
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I'm gonna go to the bathroom quickly.
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And I went in there.
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I just needed to take a break for a minute because I was in the matrix.
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Your girl is in the blender.
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The matrix, the numbers you see in the numbers in front of me.
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I said, Lord Jesus.
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I was like, I know I work out, but but this is a different type of workout.
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Workout have you not ready to drive home after?
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Oh, yeah, no, the it was it it had me in the blender.
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So we were what we took those same workouts when we were uh engaged, so not quite married, but engaged before that.
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We used to be in the gym two hours, you know.
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It was like 30 minutes of cardio.
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Then you jump into your stretch, you know, we did stretching and then we're jumping into our ab workout, which we're doing the decline abs.
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I was pushing 25 pound weight, like what?
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Your girl was decline abs crazy.
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It was crazy.
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And then you're jumping into the workout and it's heavy weight, a little bit on the higher rest.
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I mean, you were squatting sometimes 185, I think maybe even 205 a couple of times on the squats for 15 weeks.
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Yes.
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Guys in there looking around like, Yes, I'm doing 90 on the lap pull down for 15.
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I'm like, girl, we're gonna get through this.
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But um we, I we are I don't work out as heavily uh like that before.
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So that's the only thing that's kind of changed physically.
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But before that, I mean I've always been active.
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You know, I would mountain bike, I would, you know, do pool workouts.
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That's one of my other favorite things to do is pool pool workouts too.
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Uh, but that was probably physically.
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Um, how have you changed emotionally?
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Night and day.
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Since before, yeah, night and day.
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That's so true.
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Night, night and day.
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Um the the maturation process, um, I'm really grateful for the evolving.
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Yes.
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Uh yeah.
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Yeah, I just had a lot of people.
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That's all you got for the people.
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I had a lot to reflect on right there.
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A wave of emotions came over me as I was thinking about.
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I I think it's um it's a combination of one seeing how I had such a mentality, just you know, uh, really the Warriors mentality.
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You talked about grit and the work ethic and like football, you gotta have a certain energy, like especially as a middle linebacker, quarterback of the defense.
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It's a gladiator sport.
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It's a gladiator sport.
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So like the to be able to be like kind of you have to turn it on and turn it off.
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It's like a switch, right?
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But then it's like okay, how do we really make that transition?
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And as we talked about, when you don't transition into something that you enjoy and something that you love, and you're trying to figure out your passion and what's next, and really you feel like you kind of had your dream right on the fingertips, and it's like, okay, like did I loot?
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Like, I know I thought that was like a part of the purpose and a part of the plan.
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What does God have for me in store now?
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Right.
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And so I just I just think it was like that figuring out process took me to like, you know, it took me to some humble places, allowed me to really grow, and then also to do a reset and find out, like, okay, that's who you were, and it's still a part of you, but who are you now?
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Who's the post athlete occurred?
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And who are you gonna be and what type of impact do you want to create?
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And then I started to really embrace the fact that although I didn't in my mind achieve that, you know, that one dream of going to the NFL, I got a chance to see all I mean, so many guys that played and came behind me that I mentored and that I work with, see them be able to achieve that dream.
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And so it's like embracing the joy and that and not being um kind of resentful to just like the football universe for having been injured and like playing, you know, just all of the things, right?
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And trying to replay the time and go back to like what I could have done differently.
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So I know that was a long answer to the question, but that that has done a it's made a big difference on the emotional side of just figuring out what's next on the journey.
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Because if you don't have the passion and a purpose and you're not feeling like you're moving in a direction that you want to go, it just you you're not as excited and jovial and passionate about just every day.
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Yes.
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And you know, I think this is a great time to also talk about for the women that are with athletes that are going through that transition, that can be a very difficult time for both people because you had a lot of anger at that time too.
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I couldn't even watch the game.
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I like I wasn't even watching football.
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Yeah, and there were some other, you know, external factors as well.
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But I remember I had to tell you multiple times, you're taking your anger out on me, and I'm not having it.
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You know, and there were a couple of times even in the gym where you know you were taking your anger out on me, and I said, Oh no, no, no.
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You're gonna go, yeah, we're gonna go opposite ends of the gym.
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I'll see you at the locker room when you're done because no, you're not gonna talk to me like that.
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But uh, but again, I was I knew where you were, and I knew I've been giving you that grace because you are in that limbo phase of trying to figure out who you were, but also I'm not gonna be somebody who's gonna let you, you're not gonna walk all over me in the sense of you're gonna take your anger out on me.
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So I did be, I was more vocal uh in that sense.
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But for the women that are with the uh, you know, their husbands are making that transition from being an athlete to, you know, trying to figure it out, it is a journey.
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And, you know, there's gonna be a lot of anger.
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There's going to be, like you said, resentment.
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I had a couple of years left in me, whatever that looks like.
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Have grace, but also don't let it be a situation where uh you're being kind of walked on and you're the one that's taking the bread of the anger because it's not you.
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Um, and knowing that, so it's not like a combative, like, how dare you talk to me like that.
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No, it's just, but hey, I just want to let you know right now you're taking your anger out on me, and I don't appreciate that.
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Yeah, I think the therapy side too is so important.
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I would I wish that was something that I would have explored during that transition with you.
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For sure.
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Because I also don't know if you were ready.
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I know, but sometimes even when you're not ready, like it should have started as soon as the injury happened.
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Definitely of like how because again, I'm you know, you talk about closing, you know, closing all the windows.
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It's you know, you're in a dark room just looking up, like, oh man, woe is me.
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And you're like, okay, I need to transition out of that, right?
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But I appreciate you calling that out, and it just shows that one no one's a finished product, right?
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When it comes to like, oh, we're perfect.
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It's like, no, there's gonna be these seasons or windows where you know, people talk about the peaks when it's you know, being at the games and being on the field and all the things, but not the valleys when it's like whether it's the depression or the anxiety or you know, injuries coming with the broken leg, next bothering you, different things that have happened.
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So, you know, that's a great call out because and I think people deal with that in different uh careers in different phases, right?
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And so just being able to figure out what that support looks like, um, getting the the help as needed, but also expressing that's one thing I appreciate that you did.
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You expressed it to me, whether it was my tone, what I said, how I said it, whatever the case may be.
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But what was impactful about it too, that I really appreciated was I had to then digest why.
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What's the root of why my tone is elevated?
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What's the root of why my jaws are clenched and all of our photos?
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I'd never forget that.
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You were like, you know, we taking these photos.
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Like, are you are you not happy?
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Because we're taking these photos and you're not smiling.
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And I was like, I already said, Are you happy?
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Because you're not showing it in these photos.
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Like, that's a great question.
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And really, what it but I think back, you know, linebacker, middle linebacker, all the photos are like, you know, you know, it's like yeah, football photos, football photo, no smiles, right?
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All grit.
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And just also, you know, being, you know, kind of some of that Detroit energy in some of the places, right?
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It's like, you know, you you don't always come up and show up with a smile because people would, you know, will think it's sweet.
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That's right.
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And take advantage.
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Take advantage.
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You're absolutely correct.
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You got to come up, give the tough exterior.
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And so some of that working through those things definitely made a difference.
