Dec. 16, 2025

Episode 63: Santa Can’t Save You From Overspending

Survive the holidays without stress and actually enjoy your time together. This episode dives into the real chaos behind the sparkle, overflowing to-do lists, nonstop parties, and family expectations that test your patience. You’ll hear practical ways to: Carve out post-holiday recharge time so you don’t hit January burned outShare the invisible work, shopping, cooking, wrapping, with clear rolesKeep money drama low with simple budgets and thoughtful gift rulesNavigate family chaos, mixed emo...

Survive the holidays without stress and actually enjoy your time together.

This episode dives into the real chaos behind the sparkle, overflowing to-do lists, nonstop parties, and family expectations that test your patience.

You’ll hear practical ways to:

  • Carve out post-holiday recharge time so you don’t hit January burned out
  • Share the invisible work, shopping, cooking, wrapping, with clear roles
  • Keep money drama low with simple budgets and thoughtful gift rules
  • Navigate family chaos, mixed emotions, and co-parenting challenges
  • Build fun, meaningful traditions that don’t break the bank

We mix humor, honesty, and real-life hacks so your holidays feel lighter, warmer, and actually fun.

Hit play, reset your holiday game plan, and leave a review to share your favorite tip.

00:00 - The Real Holiday Pressure

02:30 - Time Crunch And Q4 Overload

05:20 - Recharging Together At Home

08:10 - Mental Load And Splitting Tasks

11:30 - Plan Ahead And Budget The Gifts

15:25 - Money Stress And Gift Expectations

19:00 - Redefining Christmas Around Connection

22:20 - In‑Laws, Rotations, And Hosting Boundaries

28:40 - Old Dynamics And Protecting Peace

33:20 - Mixed Emotions, Grief, And Grace

37:20 - Experiences Beat Things For Kids

40:10 - Free Traditions: Lights And Bingo

44:00 - Volunteering, Gratitude, And Giving

WEBVTT

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Between family pressure, money stress, and exhaustion, the holidays can either strengthen your relationship or strain your relationship.

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Let's talk about what actually happens behind closed doors.

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The holiday stress is real.

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I mean, a lot of times people don't talk about it because we see the excitement, the energy, the Christmas, the times.

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But it's like, man, behind the scenes, people are how do you make the magic?

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What is it like trying to be Santa for your family?

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We are in the Christmas spirit.

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We're very excited.

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I know people are probably gonna judge us, but we just put our Christmas tree up recently.

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Um, it's been a it's been a busy Q4, guys.

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It's been busy.

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December definitely has been busy, but to your point, Christmas is my favorite holiday.

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So it just means if we got the Christmas tree up late, does anybody judge you for keeping your Christmas tree up through the new year?

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Oh, we're going to.

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January 5th end date.

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Yes.

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Well, speaking of which, time and schedule overwhelm during the holidays.

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We all know what that's like.

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There's too many events.

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Yeah, there's not enough stress.

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There's also family members, if you're the host house.

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Oh, goodness gracious.

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No, not time.

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It feels like not enough time in a day.

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Not enough time.

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And that's what we felt like from that transition from Thanksgiving heading into the holidays is just where did the time go?

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It's it's you know, we're already halfway through December planning for 2026, but then it's there's a lot happening.

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You have work we have work deadlines.

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Work doesn't stop.

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People act like you're not just on holiday.

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Holiday.

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Holiday for for the entire December, I wish.

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Yeah, exactly.

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You have social obligations, right?

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We've been to how many holiday parties y'all going to this year?

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Holiday parties, uh, jammy jams.

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Or you're hosting or attending or both.

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Hosting, attending, you might be making, you know, cookies together, whatever that looks like.

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But there's it can feel sometimes too, just in a relationship, that there's little time left over for each other.

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Because you're again, when you think at least when I think about Christmas, I think of everyone else, to be honest.

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You don't necessarily think about yourself, let alone your relationship.

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Your does everyone have their gifts?

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If I'm the one that's hosting, am I do I have everything that everyone needs?

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If you do, you know, certain traditions, right?

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If you do pajamas or something, matching PJs, trying to go out and go get those.

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First off, find those.

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Let's be real here.

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Trying to find matching PJs is so difficult.

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Um, but yeah, I can feel like there's, you know, a less time for each other.

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And to that point, uh thinking about just the timing, something that I'm glad.

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I know in years past, we used to have times where we would travel with my family after Christmas and do like a you know a trip after like literally after the day after Christmas.

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And I am glad that just like we get a chance to just relax and chill online because there is so much lead up and just all of the the just excitement and all of the things.

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But I do like being able to like be home, regroup after the Christmas holiday, right?

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Enjoy the time and just Christmas movies, all of the things, and getting a little bit of time off too, to not have to like work right after Christmas for those that do have a little bit of time to reset or regroup.

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So I'm I'm definitely glad we got a little time to that's have off with the Christmas holiday.

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That's key.

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And really it's for us individually to recharge, but then also recharge together.

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Like we literally are recharging together, yeah, um, just by being able to relax sometimes, watch funny movies.

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We just watch Big Mama's house.

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That was so funny.

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I got two men and three dogs working under me.

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Shout out to Anthony Anderson!

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That was version one of Anthony Anderson, too.

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That was the heavier, heavier version.

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In the gap, too.

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Yes.

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Let's listen, that's how we know him.

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Then for me, the next one was uh Law and Order.

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He had a law and order phase.

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Yeah, he did.

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It was a little bit more serious, too.

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It was, and then he went blackish phase, at least in my opinion.

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Three different seasons.

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100%.

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So then, as you were mentioning, right, there can be a mental load imbalance where it just feels that maybe one partner is the planner, right?

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Where typically, I'm just saying typically, it's women that are get the gifts, get the gifts, planning, prep, cook, kids, cookies, traditions, calling everybody.

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Sometimes you get to show up, just pull up.

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See, and that's a no for me.

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I need I need a little bit more.

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You're gonna be picking people up from the airport, right?

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I feel like you need to be able to at least get involved in the if there's cookies or something, you need to get involved.

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I do wear I wear I do wear the sous chef hat.

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So dishes, prep, breakdown.

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I'm all hands on deck.

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Yes.

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Gifts, I think we've done a great job of splitting that up.

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We usually talk about that closer to that Black Friday, Cyber Monday.

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I'm glad you said that too, because that's like, I don't want to call it a hack, but I feel like the more that you can plan ahead, and if you it like I just think we get typically everybody knows some of the best deals of the year happen on Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

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I'm grabbing the Christmas, like, yeah, there's things that I might want, but I'm like, oh no, no.

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I've just got to go ahead and keep that wrapped, keep that unboxed or keep that boxed up until Christmas so that that can go under the tree or that can be something that, yo, yeah, timing it out.

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Absolutely.

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I mean, we did probably what 80% of our shopping on on Black Friday, just major deals.

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Yeah.

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If it's not 60% off, it's gotta stay where it's at.

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Yes, I know the boxes are wild at the house, they're everywhere.

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Uh, but the other person in the relationship, like you're talking about with the schedules, the travel, all of the things that typically women are in charge of during the holidays, it can feel overwhelming.

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It's an overload, but then also, right, it can be frustrating when your other partner is not contributing potentially in ways that you may want them to.

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What do you think?

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Yeah, I mean, I just, you know, without saying any names, I don't want to call nobody out.

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But I've got, you know, friends and family members where you kind of watch and it's the old school mindset of I'm, you know, everything is gonna be prepared.

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I just get to pull up and show up, which who doesn't want to have that experience?

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But I think the challenge is that when you have your partner that's did the planning, did the cooking, did the gift wrapping, did all the things, and it just, you know, it feels like one person did the heavy lifting for the for the group project.

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Yes.

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And another person just showed up and wants to get the A plus grade.

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I'm Mrs.

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Claus, I'm the elves.

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That's true.

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So it just it it it does make a difference if you can be more hands-on and be helpful or at least make it collaborative because a lot of times it it nobody wants all of that weight to fall on them, whether it's the husband or the wife.

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No, yeah, and to your point, it's about the yes, the communication, but maybe a list, right?

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Of this is what I need you to get done because this is gonna be able to take off some of the the load from my shoulders, and I'll be able to maybe focus in other areas.

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I know for at least I can speak for myself and I know other women too, on the the aesthetic, right?

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And what we want certain things to look like, whether that's your dishes, um, like literally your serving platters, what you want those to look like, but then the food that's on them and the gift wrapping, even if we're matching, if we're keeping it clear.

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Just the details.

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It's the details, which that can take a lot of mental power, but at the same time, it's how can we share this, right?

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Like, how can we share this love?

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So I feel like a list for men, oh my gosh, hold on, just quickly because this reminded me as I said this.

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Do you did you see on it was either YouTube or TikTok where a wife created a huge poster and she taped, like if they needed a specific mouthwash, she taped the mouthwash bottle that was empty to this poster.

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And so imagine that for each item that was needed, and he's in he was in one of the the department stores, pulled it out, and so he knows, okay, this is what the bottle looks like.

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Because typically that's what the phone calls are about.

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It's like, okay, well, I see there's five different variations of Lestrine.

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Like, what are you looking for?

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But it's this is the bottle I need.

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So I thought that was really funny.

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That's what it reminded me.

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Can I tell you how can I also tell you how I know that that is true and that that is valuable?

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Yes.

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When you ask me to grab you something out of your purse, I bring the entire purse.

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I can't and I can't.

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There's so many compartments, there's so many things.

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You're like, oh no, grab me the chapstick.

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But there's lip gloss, there's chapstick, there's like regular chapstick.

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I'm like, here's the entire purse.

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Because I have no idea.

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And that's not what I'm looking for.

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I'm looking for the one thing the one thing that I could not quite find.

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But at the same time, let's be real, black pepper will be right in front of you, right in front of your sight line.

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I there's no black pepper, where is it?

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Any closer would have bit you.

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Come on.

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It's the same thing.

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It's the same thing.

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But uh really, I mean, I'm sure we're all feeling this in some way, shape, or form, but just the money stress, right?

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Are you overspending during this time?

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Are there saving conflicts where one partner maybe wants to save a little bit and say, hey, maybe we're only gonna get two gifts this year, everybody.

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Um, or are we overspending and putting things on credit cards and not necessarily having the right money habits for the holidays?

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Because again, I'm here for the merry and jolly holiday, but we have to remember what is Christmas about?

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Yes, it's Jesus' birthday, but hello, hallelujah.

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Uh yes, it's his birthday, but it's about camaraderie.

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It's about being around the ones that you love, it's about having those, playing some fun games.

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There's some really fun games.

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Yeah, well, yes, that's classic.

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But I'm saying like the holiday games.

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There's some really fun holiday games and things that you can play too.

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But um, and then here's the other thing gift expectations.

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Oh no, well, I'll tell you right now, the gift expectations sometimes you have to lower the expectation that people have for gifts because people will come in and be like, oh, I want like people are aiming for the moon and the stars with some of these Christmas lists.

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People are making Christmas lists like Santa is dropping the gifts off.

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Yes, crazy.

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Yes, so I just think for our young listeners, Santa is dropping your gifts off.

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Okay, yeah.

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Sorry, if you're listening to this with your children, parent mom and dad got those gifts.

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So this is for adult audiences when it comes to Santa.

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But no, to your point, it's it makes such a big difference when you know this is what and I really I do like almost like the some of the secret Santa gifting.

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Like sometimes it's more work, but like there's a cap.

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It's$20, it's$50.

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Like, we've got to either get some arts and crafts, we gotta make it like a fun meal, something festive or something thoughtful.

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But when you just when there's no limit and no cap, and then also let's talk about the fact of people have these extravagant things on their gift, but then they have no budget to gift you anything.

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People got a Lamborghini on their Christmas list and they got you a pair of socks.

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You're like, wait.

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But were they cozy earth?

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I don't know.

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Cozy earth socks.

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That's true.

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But to your point, right, are the gift expectations aligned?

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And I do feel like we need to be more transparent with where we are financially because there is a pressure to make it magical, but you can make things, especially when you're talking about younger kids.

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Younger kids, yes, they may ask you for the cell phone and the you know these expensive gifts, but if you get them those thoughtful No, I just just to your point, I didn't mean to, I don't want you to lose that thought.

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But how many times have we seen kids get gifted those Mercedes bins or the Range Rovers, the little baby toy that's a luxury vehicle?

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Every time I see the video with the kid in it, the kid doesn't even look interested.

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But every time I see the kid with And they're a couple of hundred hundreds of dollars.

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But when you see the kid inside a little thing where their legs have to run and they have like they run around themselves, kids are juiced.

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Excited, excited, excited, and I guarantee the price difference is like 25 bucks versus 500 bucks.

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But it's the idea that it's like, oh no, they they wanted the little BMW.

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Yeah, and it's like the kid has no idea what a BMW is.

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I think too, because we also live in a capitalist world, it's about spending money.

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And we need to re-again remember what is the magic of Christmas.

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The magic of Christmas is family, it's eating together, it's sitting down at the same table, it's connecting, it's creating new memories.

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It's like let's get back to to the ethos of what Christmas is rather than what has been, you know, kind of pushed down our throats with the with our society telling us no, it's about the gifts.

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Spend, spend, spend, spend.

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How much they love you is based on how much money they put into the gifts.

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That's not true.

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That's not true.

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And also knowing that right now, 1.6 million people have lost their jobs, there's gonna be some people that are getting no gifts this year.

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So then why are we let's change that mindset of the magic of Christmas is in us being able to be together in one room and laugh, cry, have a great time, play games.

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I mean, that's really what it is, rather than spending money.

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And sometimes, you know, you gotta pull a Terry Cruz from Everybody Hates Chris, turn the lights on.

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This is a gift.

00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:43.600
Okay.

00:13:44.399 --> 00:13:44.639
Amen.

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Now you got a roof over your head.

00:13:45.919 --> 00:13:46.320
That's real, though.

00:13:47.679 --> 00:13:54.480
But the reality is is how many people don't have that gift, and that is a blessing for somebody just to have somewhere to live, shelter, all of the things.

00:13:54.559 --> 00:14:00.399
And so sometimes we do have to level set those expectations of what is making the moment magical.

00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:00.960
Absolutely.

00:14:01.120 --> 00:14:02.720
And that really should be the time together.

00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:15.600
Yes, but here's the other big strain that we know can happen during the holidays family expectations and in-law attention.

00:14:17.200 --> 00:14:19.519
Whose family do we prioritize?

00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:22.000
That's true.

00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:24.240
I mean, I'm just I'll just give you an example.

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I'll I I mean I'll I won't forget when we were going through our process of getting married, you know, going from getting engaged, getting married, and you just kind of you know are sitting and listening and kind of just hearing the conversation and and you know, I heard some people saying, It's my holiday.

00:14:37.360 --> 00:14:37.840
I know.

00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:42.320
I said, Oh I said, wait, but got two sets of families, right?

00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:50.320
Like it can't just be one person's holiday when we're we're mixed, we're you know, we're really inner, you know, intertwining and bringing everybody together.

00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:54.480
And so dealing with some of those expectations because to that point, right?

00:14:54.639 --> 00:15:05.679
If one family member or or um in-law was used to hosting everything is at their house and everybody comes there and you know they're in control, and it's like, well, wait a minute.

00:15:05.919 --> 00:15:16.480
Other I just had a friend of mine, just as a perfect example, he talked about how stressful it was that they go to they would go to three different family members' homes to kind of check all the boxes.

00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:16.960
Yes.

00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:28.480
So they'd go to his family's house, they go to her family's house, and they're going to like the cousins or somebody's divorce, and you're going, and it's like, sheesh, like four Christmases the movie with Vince Vaughn, and you're like, man, I'm I might as well take a vacation.

00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:38.720
And so I think it's that simplifying sometimes, and it's okay to be able to say, you know what, we're gonna create our own traditions or routines, and we're gonna host at our house.

00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:51.600
And we're gonna invite people can come by here, you guys can come visit us, but it doesn't always have to be where you know you're making concessions and it's like I've gotta go and be at three places at once, or create someone else's routine and pattern.

00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:52.080
Correct.

00:15:52.240 --> 00:16:04.320
And to your point, if this is Christmas Day, which I believe that's the example that you were using, by the time you get back to your house, Christmas is over.

00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:07.279
And so now I, you know, I've we've heard a couple of things.

00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:09.759
I we've heard that there's rotating Christmases.

00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:10.639
That's true, right?

00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:13.120
So I think that's a really I think that's fair too.

00:16:13.519 --> 00:16:14.159
That's being more fair.

00:16:14.399 --> 00:16:20.480
Okay, this year is gonna, I'm gonna be the host house, next year is going to be so and so's mom, the next year is gonna be so and so's mom, right?

00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:36.639
And and as you just progress and you start adding people to the family, rotating, yeah, if you can, obviously it's easier if you live in the same state, but if you don't and you have to travel, at least you know next year it's gonna be at so-and-so's house, so I can save, I can plan, right?

00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:38.159
I can do those things.

00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:47.039
But the other thing too is like you said, if you are somebody who is just saying, Hey, we're just gonna host at our house, period.

00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:49.360
There is no rotating, we're just gonna be at our house.

00:16:49.519 --> 00:16:51.679
We have our own tra traditions that we like to do.

00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:53.840
If you want to come by here, please come through.

00:16:54.399 --> 00:16:56.240
Come, you can come by whenever you'd like.

00:16:56.480 --> 00:16:57.120
There's that.

00:16:57.200 --> 00:17:11.759
And then there's also um being able to have the conversation of, hey, we're actually going to go and visit, you know, just this one person's house.

00:17:11.920 --> 00:17:15.440
Cause also the other thing too is being mindful of people's age, right?

00:17:15.599 --> 00:17:22.799
Where if you do have somebody that is more senior in your family and you may be thinking about how many Christmases are left, that may be more right.

00:17:23.039 --> 00:17:26.000
Prioritizing that is also another option.

00:17:26.319 --> 00:17:33.359
But I mean, it's hard because you feel torn, you feel guilty, you feel like you are maybe not prioritizing your own self.

00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:40.079
Um, and then also as a couple, you're not prioritizing your traditions that you've maybe started outside of your family.

00:17:40.319 --> 00:17:58.160
And it's it's can be difficult to navigate, and family more than likely will not necessarily like all of your choices, but at the end of the day, it's about trying to compromise, yes, but don't compromise your piece trying to compromise for everybody else.

00:17:58.400 --> 00:18:06.000
Um, I know when I was um, I watched uh a YouTube and it was a family, it was a family of six.

00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:16.559
All the kids are grown, they're all 30 and over, they all have their own families, spouses, all of the things, but the the mom and dad were saying, like, no, we are the host home.

00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:17.759
Everybody will come here.

00:18:17.920 --> 00:18:21.599
They all lived in the same state, fortunate for them, but everyone's gonna come here.

00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:26.160
They had two kids that said, No, we're actually not gonna do that.

00:18:26.319 --> 00:18:33.279
And so when they went into a deeper conversation about it, the daughter said, Listen, I just want peace.

00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:38.880
I don't want to wake up to the craziness of what's happening on Christmas at your house.

00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:40.640
I like to wake up peacefully.

00:18:40.799 --> 00:18:42.480
I like to have a softer morning.

00:18:42.640 --> 00:18:45.119
I like to have our own traditions with our family.

00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.480
And I just want it to be very chill and relaxed.

00:18:48.559 --> 00:18:51.119
I feel like when I come to your house, it's the opposite.

00:18:51.359 --> 00:18:56.480
And I feel myself being stressed out when I go over to your house for Christmas.

00:18:56.640 --> 00:19:02.400
So I choose to not come over Christmas Day, which the parents were hurt when she said this.

00:19:02.640 --> 00:19:08.799
The son said, Listen, I don't mind coming over for half a day, but you also have other people that are coming over.

00:19:09.039 --> 00:19:09.680
That's a big one.

00:19:09.839 --> 00:19:14.400
You're having other people that are coming over that we don't necessarily know.

00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:22.960
Yes, they may not have family members, so you're doing the nice thing and in some cases the right thing by having them come over, but then you want us to open gifts in front of them and they're looking at the game.

00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:24.160
They said they're no gifts.

00:19:24.400 --> 00:19:24.559
What?

00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:28.160
They're sitting there no gifts, just wow, that looks real nice.

00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:29.279
Nice apple water.

00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:34.160
So he said it makes me just feel uncomfortable and my kids feel uncomfortable.

00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:34.720
They're looking around.

00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:36.559
You're opening your gifts and people are just staring.

00:19:36.960 --> 00:19:38.160
They see that I'm tense.

00:19:38.240 --> 00:19:46.720
And so I think it's just a reevaluating what your priorities are, not only individually, but also as a couple and what you want to do.

00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:49.039
Because once you get to a certain age, you're grown.

00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:52.880
I'm you can't, I mean, can I make my own decisions, my own choices, my own money?

00:19:53.359 --> 00:19:54.720
I can choose what I want to do.

00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:59.759
To that point, you also find out a lot in those situations.

00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:02.480
And in those relationships, once you tell somebody no.

00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:02.960
Ooh.

00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:04.079
For real.

00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:05.680
Because it it's like anything.

00:20:05.839 --> 00:20:11.039
Everything is going, it's easy to have things going good and for everybody to act right when things are going good.

00:20:11.279 --> 00:20:18.319
But when you push back or maybe go against the grain and say, you know what, we're gonna change up how maybe you did things previously, you find out a lot.

00:20:18.480 --> 00:20:20.240
Is it a little bit more conditional?

00:20:20.400 --> 00:20:25.119
Is there an area where it's a little bit more like when you're doing what I say, I'm happy.

00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:38.720
But if you're not doing what I say, I'm upset, or I'm maybe giving you the silent treatment, or maybe, you know, I'm I'm I'm having some uh pushback on your plans or what you may be working on, it does come with the territory and it's not easy.

00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:46.480
Like we've gone through you know some of those experiences and being able to prioritize the piece, man, it's priceless.

00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:47.519
Peace is priceless.

00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:48.400
100%.

00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:57.839
And I'm and I'm glad you said that because you know, one saying that we both love is if it costs you your piece, it is too expensive.

00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:00.880
We gotta put that on the t-shirt.

00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:01.519
Period.

00:21:01.759 --> 00:21:03.119
If it costs you your piece, it's too expensive.

00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:03.839
It's too expensive.

00:21:03.920 --> 00:21:06.000
And then again, right, figuring out what works for you.

00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:08.079
There's Christmas Eve, there's the day after Christmas.

00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:08.559
Come on now.

00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:10.240
Why don't we do a Christmas Eve dinner?

00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:11.279
We all get together then.

00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:12.720
Maybe we open a gift or two.

00:21:13.039 --> 00:21:14.720
But Christmas, maybe I want to be at home.

00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:15.599
I want to be with my family.

00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:16.160
100%.

00:21:16.480 --> 00:21:20.079
And also, it also it always doesn't have to be on other people's time.

00:21:20.400 --> 00:21:20.880
Time.

00:21:21.519 --> 00:21:27.200
How many times, like, because when you think, and I always like to look at it, whether it's family, friendships, anything.

00:21:28.079 --> 00:21:31.839
We love being it, we love when things are easy.

00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:38.880
And when I say easy, I mean there's times where you hang out with friends or family, and it's like, man, I haven't seen you in two years, or I haven't seen you in how many months?

00:21:39.039 --> 00:21:41.039
And you pick up like nothing happened.

00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:43.839
There's no stress, there's no issues, link up with a friend.

00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:46.960
And we all have that friend where it's like, hey, your birthday was here.

00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:50.240
We maybe didn't get together on your birthday, but we're gonna get lunch.

00:21:50.480 --> 00:22:09.279
Like, I think about my one of my my fraternity, my one of my line brothers, like we get together every birthday, like we celebrate different things, but we understand, I'm like, bruh, if something comes up and we can't get together on the Saturday of your birthday, even if it's a month later or a week later, like we're gonna still do it and get together and celebrate it as if it was that week.

00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:14.240
So I just say that to say if it is Christmas Eve, the day before, the day after, right?

00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:24.799
It's all about the coordinating, the planning, the spinning of the time versus kind of the hype or the pressure that a lot of times people put on of like, oh, you didn't come the day, Christmas Day.

00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:26.559
I'm gonna give some grace.

00:22:26.799 --> 00:22:27.519
Yeah, absolutely.

00:22:27.599 --> 00:22:36.000
And the other thing, too, that can be just uncomfortable is although this is a time to be merry and joyful, old family dynamics can pop up, right?

00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:42.000
The things that are not talked about, the things that are sweeping under the rug under the rug, right?

00:22:42.319 --> 00:22:48.960
Those old family dynamics can come up, and it's one of those things where do I want this on my holiday?

00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:55.200
Do I want this on a day, on a day that's supposed to be joyful and peaceful and merry and and those things?

00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:56.799
Like, do I actually want that?

00:22:57.200 --> 00:23:07.039
And we've all, I'm sure we've all been there where whether it's in-laws or it's just family dynamics, sibling dynamics as well, where it's just like, listen, I love you, but I don't like you.

00:23:07.279 --> 00:23:08.319
That's happened.

00:23:08.480 --> 00:23:08.880
That doesn't happen.

00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:10.240
People don't talk about that enough.

00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:16.000
I know, but they do say, again, especially one thing we talk about when it's marriage, you choose your wife.

00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:18.480
You don't get to, you don't had it didn't have a chance to choose your family.

00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:18.799
Right.

00:23:18.960 --> 00:23:21.519
So this is who you were, you know, you were birthed into.

00:23:21.759 --> 00:23:30.400
So just I think a lot of times we always have the kind of the mystical idea that, like, oh man, it's always gonna be best case scenario.

00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:34.240
And no, it's family, they're gonna make accommodations and concessions and like adjust.

00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:38.000
And sometimes it's like, no, yeah, it's not quite that way.

00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:41.599
Because if you think about it, right, it's the unspoken traditions and assumptions.

00:23:41.920 --> 00:23:43.039
We've always done it this way.

00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:50.720
Yeah, so now you want to be different, you want to be, you you don't want to be maybe a part of the family because you want to do your own traditions.

00:23:50.880 --> 00:23:52.480
And some people are almost like, how dare you?

00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:53.839
How dare you?

00:23:54.079 --> 00:23:54.799
This is my holiday.

00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:56.160
How dare you, right?

00:23:56.240 --> 00:24:00.079
This is my holiday, or you know, you decided to do this.

00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:01.519
But that's selfish, even then.

00:24:01.599 --> 00:24:02.720
This is my holiday.

00:24:02.880 --> 00:24:03.200
It is.

00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:04.720
Isn't it all of our holidays?

00:24:04.880 --> 00:24:06.079
That's a good point.

00:24:06.319 --> 00:24:24.000
But again, sometimes I think to you to that exact example, if I'm looking at it from my point of view, and we can't take a second to put ourselves in somebody else's shoes, whether that's somebody else's family or just the dynamics where let me see it from their point of view and see how we can make this collaborative.

00:24:24.079 --> 00:24:32.640
I think the great example you used was if someone's you know trading off holidays or locations each year, it takes collaboration.

00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:34.799
It takes thought, it takes follow-through, right?

00:24:34.880 --> 00:24:36.880
But it's teamwork for us to decide.

00:24:36.960 --> 00:24:39.119
This is what it's almost like planning a family reunion.

00:24:39.359 --> 00:24:43.440
Like there's the collaboration, what city are we gonna be in?

00:24:43.599 --> 00:24:44.240
What's the plan?

00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:45.279
Who's on the committee?

00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:48.400
But like there's so much collaboration to get to that point.

00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:51.839
If you can do that and have everybody on the same page, that's super ideal.

00:24:52.079 --> 00:24:54.559
Yeah, no, I I totally agree with you.

00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:58.480
But then what do you think about different holiday emotional experiences?

00:24:58.720 --> 00:25:00.720
Because I think that's something else that we don't talk about.

00:25:01.119 --> 00:25:09.359
We say, oh, joyful, merry, happiness, togetherness, but that's not everyone's experience, right?

00:25:09.519 --> 00:25:16.559
Where the other can somebody can feel guilt and grief and anxiety and all of the things, even burnout during this time.

00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:26.559
And also, you know, there's I'm just also thinking about you know, people that we know that are in a situation where it's it's you know tragic, but like they lost their spouse.

00:25:26.799 --> 00:25:27.119
Yes.

00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:38.079
You know, I'm thinking of somebody right now, you know, got three girls, got his daughters, law, you know, wife is no longer here, she passed, but like he Christmas is supposed to be jovial and jolly and all the things.

00:25:38.240 --> 00:25:57.119
And I know for him as the you know, dad, husband, father is like, man, I'm carrying all of this, but you're thinking about the memories of when he was able to have his wife there and it was all jolly, you know, it was really jolly back then, and it's like there's a you know, you're trying to move and mimic that correct in a way that you can.

00:25:57.359 --> 00:25:59.680
But I'm sure that weight has got to be so heavy, right?

00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:06.960
For not just on Christmas, but it just magnifies it when this is a moment where it should have been all of the family, and now it just makes it harder.

00:26:07.119 --> 00:26:07.759
Yeah, absolutely.

00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:19.279
And I think that's another great opportunity where it may not be necessarily Christmas Day, but you could get together with somebody that you know may be having a hard time, even on that weekend, right?

00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:25.359
Just to be able to say, hey, I'm thinking about you, maybe I'm sending gifts to the girls that you were mentioning.

00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:35.680
Um, but that can't be easy for everybody, and just being mindful that everybody's experience of this holiday in particular is not all the same.

00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:36.000
Yeah.

00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:41.519
And I think we need to be make sure, because also at the same time, again, we just talked about 1.6 million people have lost their jobs.

00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:44.880
So now you're heading into the new year, potentially not having a job.

00:26:45.039 --> 00:26:47.680
And so there's that weight that's also on you.

00:26:47.920 --> 00:27:09.920
I just think that we need to, again, try to move away from the overspending, the giving into this capitalist society that is always saying spend, spend, spend, spend, spend, and start, start remembering that your memories and your experiences are gonna go much further than your anything that you receive kind of on a monetary basis.

00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:18.559
Or um, you know, we've seen, we've literally seen people that will get a gift and they said, Oh, I wanted this, but now that I have it, I don't even, I don't know if I really want it.

00:27:18.720 --> 00:27:24.000
And then how many times have we, we've also gotten gifts for people and they've said that they wanted it and then they never use it.

00:27:24.240 --> 00:27:27.039
And we ask them, or oh, how's you know, this gift we got you?

00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.359
Oh man, I still haven't opened the box yet.

00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:30.480
Wait, what?

00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:33.200
We just spent money on that and you haven't opened the box yet?

00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:40.400
But then when we talk about, oh, being around the fireplace and making s'mores or just an experience-forgettable.

00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:41.519
Unforgettable.

00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:44.799
Yeah, unforgettable, you know, and there's a lot of free events too.

00:27:44.880 --> 00:27:46.400
I think that's something else we haven't talked about.

00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:53.119
But just at least here in Arizona, there are a lot of free events that are happening around where you can just see Christmas lights for free.

00:27:53.279 --> 00:27:57.119
Something we like to do on Christmas Eve, that's our tradition, is our Christmas lights bingo.

00:27:57.279 --> 00:28:03.680
You can just print a card off of Pinterest and you can go to a free Christmas lights viewing.

00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:04.720
Yeah, we drive around.

00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:07.279
That's what that is one of my favorite traditions that we have.

00:28:07.440 --> 00:28:07.759
Yeah.

00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:10.079
Is hot hot chocolates in the car.

00:28:10.400 --> 00:28:11.440
Spiked nominates.

00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:19.200
Hot chocolates in the car, going to the neighborhoods that have the most outrageous Christmas lights.

00:28:19.279 --> 00:28:19.440
Yes.

00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:24.240
You can drive super slow or walk, but you're literally checking off and you know, crossing out all the items.

00:28:24.319 --> 00:28:25.839
Oh, we just saw kids are juiced.

00:28:26.079 --> 00:28:27.440
Oh, we just saw Rudolph.

00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:37.599
And the fact that they have such great um Christmas light bingo like cards, I mean, some of the ones, I mean, there were some things that we had to drop, we had to like really find.

00:28:37.839 --> 00:28:39.279
Yeah, because now they have it like minions.

00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:40.640
Grinch, minions.

00:28:40.960 --> 00:28:41.920
I'm saying, oh my gosh.

00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:46.319
I'm like, man, they're like, you have to find, you know, a a house that has all white.

00:28:46.960 --> 00:28:47.599
White lights.

00:28:47.759 --> 00:28:48.079
I know.

00:28:48.319 --> 00:28:49.440
You have to find a snowflake.

00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:51.200
I was like, man, a snowflake in Arizona.

00:28:51.519 --> 00:28:52.799
But if you think about it too, right?

00:28:52.880 --> 00:28:55.440
So there's a few ways you can even go just about this in particular.

00:28:55.599 --> 00:29:00.079
That can be competitive, where you're it's families, you know, kind of going against each other.

00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:01.519
You can work as a family.

00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:08.400
You can also have the kids be the one that are picking out the, you know, oh my gosh, I see the Grinch over here or the or the this over here.

00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:25.599
There's it's just focusing more on the experiences and how can we how can we create more deeper connection during the holidays rather than focusing on gifts and focusing on the expense and all of that that can come with the holiday.

00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:36.079
To your point, I saw, you know, we we mentioned this previously, but there was one billion dollars put on after pay or buy now, pay later during Cyber Monday, right?

00:29:36.240 --> 00:29:43.920
And so we think about that, and it speaks to how many people didn't have it to pay right now, but they still wanted to, you know, to buy that gift or buy whatever that was.

00:29:45.599 --> 00:30:03.680
If you're dealing with it right now or you're working with your family on really getting away from some of the materialistic trends for Christmas, and you're trying to get more rooted in joy and positivity and just gratitude, something that we love to do is being able to volunteer around the holidays.

00:30:04.160 --> 00:30:07.519
So we had an opportunity to go to make a wish and volunteer there.

00:30:07.680 --> 00:30:13.920
Uh going to a food bank and packaging meals, things like that for your family, it really puts it in perspective.

00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:25.440
Come on, because then it's like, wait, I just got done packaging food or packaging meals or packaging blankets and things for families that are in need and don't have food for Christmas, or you know, wrapping gifts.

00:30:25.519 --> 00:30:28.319
I love, you know, my grandmother uh volunteers with helping hands.

00:30:28.480 --> 00:30:28.960
She sure does.

00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:52.880
And so being able to have things for kids that are in the hospital and women and different things, but like, how impactful is that when you realize I just made something that's gonna bring someone joy that's in the hospital that can't, you know, celebrate at home or with family, but then you it's like, man, how can I even think about like, oh, these are the you know, I wanted these Air Jordans and I wanted this and I wanted that when you can be like, man, this person just wanted their health.

00:30:53.119 --> 00:30:53.359
Correct.

00:30:53.519 --> 00:31:02.160
They just wanted to be able to walk or to see or to be able to have food or a roof over their head, and it really level sets of like, man, I've got so much to be grateful for.

00:31:02.400 --> 00:31:03.839
Yes, I love that.

00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:15.839
The other thing I want to add to to that, I was talking to one of my girlfriends, and she mentioned that what she does, and I love this, and I think this is something we're gonna take when we have our family.

00:31:16.160 --> 00:31:23.200
Essentially, in order for her kids to get new toys, they have to get rid of some of their old toys.

00:31:23.359 --> 00:31:36.400
So they're getting rid of some of their old toys that they are gonna physically donate and go down to, you know, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Boys and Girls Club and donate those toys and see the joy that it brings to other people.

00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:40.799
And you'd be so surprised when you tell your kids we're gonna be donating to kids that don't have toys.

00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:44.319
Kids will darn get rid of all of their toys for the most part.

00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:52.880
Like I've seen the light of, oh my gosh, another little boy or girl gets to play with this toy and they get to really enjoy and experience this.

00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:57.359
And now I, you know, it's not even they're not even thinking about the getting of the new toys yet.

00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:04.160
They're all they're just thinking about, oh my gosh, I can have other kids enjoy the the toys as much as I have.

00:32:04.319 --> 00:32:07.920
And I thought that that was so impactful on so many levels.

00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:19.039
But then you're also creating a there's an unspoken rule or just like an unspoken agreement that this is bigger than us.

00:32:19.200 --> 00:32:21.119
This is bigger than this toy.

00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:29.759
This holiday is bigger than me receiving a brand new gift that might be hundreds of dollars or just a brand new gift in general.

00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:30.720
So I really like that.

00:32:30.799 --> 00:32:32.079
I thought that was something key.

00:32:32.319 --> 00:32:33.440
And that's a great call out.

00:32:33.519 --> 00:32:38.400
And I think a lot of times too, people feel as if, well, what if I'm, you know, what if I'm struggling?

00:32:38.480 --> 00:32:39.759
How do I give?

00:32:39.839 --> 00:32:42.960
Or I'm not in a position to give because we don't have much.

00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:43.440
Sure.

00:32:43.680 --> 00:32:48.880
And as we think about, you know, Christ's birthday, we think about the celebration and what we're celebrating.

00:32:49.039 --> 00:32:52.480
There's a quote that I love, and it talks about you can't outgive God.

00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:59.519
So if you're giving, and they talked about, you know, there's people that had, you know, someone gave a million dollars, but they were wealthy.

00:32:59.680 --> 00:33:03.680
And there's a woman that gave two dollars, but that was the last two dollars that she had.

00:33:04.160 --> 00:33:05.759
And that means so much more.

00:33:05.920 --> 00:33:08.880
But again, you're gonna be able to give, you're gonna be able to receive.

00:33:09.359 --> 00:33:10.319
You'll reap what you sow.

00:33:10.720 --> 00:33:12.799
So if you give, it's gonna come back to you.

00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:18.640
And that's not uh, it's just gonna come back to you on Christmas Day, but that gift just keeps on giving and being able to be a blessing.

00:33:18.880 --> 00:33:24.880
And everything that we're talking about, too, isn't just like theory, like this is these are things we actually do.

00:33:24.960 --> 00:33:28.559
Like we have clothes right now in the back of the truck that we're donating.

00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:29.039
Yeah.

00:33:29.200 --> 00:33:38.400
Because we went through and did our our end of the year audit, and it was like, man, I've got some things in here, and it's not just that you know we're being wasteful, or it's like, oh, I've got all this new stuff.

00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:40.960
Some stuff we've had for like, man, I've had this like 10 years.

00:33:41.039 --> 00:33:44.559
Yes, I've had this a long time, or you know what, I've had this and I haven't worn it, or you know what?

00:33:44.640 --> 00:33:51.920
You know, I know I said I got some, you know, I got my fitness goals and I'm you know, I'm gonna get back into these, you know, size 34s or whatever it is, but you know what?

00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:53.759
I might need to go ahead and bless somebody else.

00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:57.200
Yes, I'm gonna bless somebody else with those right now and go ahead and gift that.

00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:09.440
And something as small as that just shifts your whole mindset to gratitude, to feeling and your kids specifically, because right, we uh uh are as parents, you are teaching your kids what's the meaning of Christmas.

00:34:10.000 --> 00:34:16.400
And I think if you are are just giving your kids gifts and they start associating, oh, well, that's the meaning of Christmas.

00:34:16.480 --> 00:34:20.639
Yeah, well, what about giving back and giving back to the people that really truly need it?

00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:25.920
But then let's be real the social media pressure can be overwhelming at times.

00:34:26.079 --> 00:34:32.719
You're seeing people potentially on these trips, or you're seeing people like we know somebody that's going on a 10-day yacht trip for Christmas, right?

00:34:32.960 --> 00:34:39.599
But people are going on trips and you're people are even just envious of tree setups, how your tree looks.

00:34:40.079 --> 00:34:43.519
I saw somebody had like a 10-foot tree, I'll say, And gift wrap, right?

00:34:43.599 --> 00:34:50.960
Like gift wrapping and how that can look and the aesthetic of what Christmas looks like, but that's not the true meaning of Christmas.

00:34:51.199 --> 00:34:58.559
And I think that if we are feeling behind or feeling inadequate, uh, that's normal.

00:34:58.719 --> 00:35:00.880
Like that's not that's not uncommon.

00:35:01.039 --> 00:35:03.920
I can guarantee you you're probably not the only one that feels like that.

00:35:04.079 --> 00:35:16.960
But it doesn't mean that you have to overcompensate by then overspending, by trying to live outside of your means, trying to make this day as perfect as possible.

00:35:17.199 --> 00:35:19.599
It's like we have to take that pressure off of ourselves.

00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:23.280
Life is already giving us pressure just in day-to-day.

00:35:23.440 --> 00:35:26.880
Let's let's take the pressure off of ourselves if we can in some areas.

00:35:27.119 --> 00:35:27.599
100%.

00:35:27.840 --> 00:35:29.679
And also, looks can be very deceiving.

00:35:29.840 --> 00:35:30.559
Deceiving, come on.

00:35:30.719 --> 00:35:45.760
I mean, that's one thing that we see more and more in, you know, I'm just thinking about the examples of because right now I know also there's a lot of people that are dealing with a situation where maybe you're a separate household, like people that are also divorced, right, and have kids.

00:35:46.000 --> 00:36:30.800
And it can feel like at times, if one person has more financial stability and they can buy all the gifts and you go to maybe mom or dad's house and they have all of the things, and the other parent is feeling maybe a little bit inadequate because they don't have as much creating the space where there are those intentional moments, those memories, like you'll be surprised how much kids realize wait, I didn't really need that whatever toy it was, but I really needed this quality time and the lesson of giving back and pouring in the others and you know, they may be going and volunteering and don't realize that there's a kid from their school or somebody that they didn't even know that was here in the soup line, like literally here to get them the Christmas meal, and you're like, wow, I was able to be a blessing.

00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:35.599
And that could change someone's entire perspective and holiday.

00:36:35.840 --> 00:36:37.360
Yes, I absolutely agree.

00:36:37.519 --> 00:36:50.559
And to your point about the uh the separate households, um, I was actually just talking to somebody the other day about that, and they were feeling really sad because their kids, which are older, they were all older.

00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:58.960
There are, you know, they were maybe in their 20s, chose to be at their mom's house for Christmas, but they're gonna spend, I think, Christmas Eve with uh with him.

00:36:59.119 --> 00:37:01.199
And so he felt really sad about it.

00:37:01.840 --> 00:37:18.320
But it's one of those things too where you have to have the the honest and transparent conversation with your kids and say, hey, this is also how I'm feeling, but what can we do to maybe have more quality time experiences or have a deeper connection?

00:37:18.480 --> 00:37:20.000
What are some things that we can do?

00:37:20.159 --> 00:37:32.800
Because I would love to be able to either, you know, to to spend this day with you or just have the experience that is going to translate into potentially a new tradition, honestly.

00:37:32.960 --> 00:37:48.239
Um, you know, and I think that we shouldn't be so rigid in our thinking of what we think Christmas should be, but be open to some some changes, some some opportunities for growth uh because it's not uh everything's not cookie cutter.

00:37:48.400 --> 00:37:48.639
Yeah.

00:37:48.800 --> 00:37:53.920
And a lot of times people think that it is very, you know, oh, it's black and white, it's very simple, it's this or that.

00:37:54.079 --> 00:38:05.360
And there can be this area where there are a lot of elements that are case by case or situation by situation, and holding space that your situation can be unique.

00:38:05.519 --> 00:38:15.360
I know a lot of times also, like you'll see whether it's television or people have this perspective, like, oh no, you need to be over there, you need to be celebrating with them, and you gotta go.

00:38:15.440 --> 00:38:27.280
And no matter what type of maybe toxic or disrupting your peace type of situation that you're in, you need to be in that environment because it's family or because it's the title of the holiday.

00:38:27.519 --> 00:38:30.719
And you really have to ask yourself, like, hey, is this worth my peace?

00:38:30.880 --> 00:38:39.280
And then also, what type of memories can I create, even if it's with my immediate family and we're we're creating new memories together.

00:38:39.920 --> 00:38:57.519
And something we have to be very mindful of, you know, our generation, millennials, we actually are the highest generation of people that are choosing to disconnect from our families.

00:38:58.079 --> 00:39:00.000
People said that I'm not gonna take it.

00:39:00.239 --> 00:39:00.400
Yes.

00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:26.800
I mean, Oprah, she just did a uh episode on her podcast, and it was extremely interesting to hear just how many people and just to hear how many people are making the choice to either not talk to their parents anymore or just not put themselves into a position where you kind of feel that dread before you even go, or like as you're getting ready, you're saying, like, man, I don't want to go.

00:39:26.960 --> 00:39:29.119
I don't really want to be in this environment right now.

00:39:29.360 --> 00:39:31.840
So know that you're not alone.

00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:42.079
Because a lot of times when you're making those hard decisions, if you choose not to go, or if you choose yourself and your partner, it can feel like it, you're the only ones.

00:39:42.239 --> 00:39:44.400
You're it can feel like a very lonely time.

00:39:44.639 --> 00:39:46.559
Are we the only ones making this decision?

00:39:46.800 --> 00:39:49.519
You are not, um, especially for millennials.

00:39:49.760 --> 00:39:55.440
It's it's interesting how we are deciding that enough is enough.

00:39:55.679 --> 00:39:56.960
We're not sweeping it under the rug.

00:39:57.119 --> 00:39:58.880
We're not sweeping it under the rug anymore.

00:39:58.960 --> 00:39:59.760
Um, and just more so.

00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:05.360
Giving if you are feeling that way as a listener or a viewer, you're not alone.

00:40:05.679 --> 00:40:13.039
And you know, you'd be surprised, maybe your friends too, if you talk to them, how many people are just choosing their own piece?

00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:14.480
Yeah, it's not talked about enough.00:40:14.559 --> 00:40:23.679


And I know I'm I'm really proud of us for just our growth, us being able to create healthy habits that we have, which has been such a blessing for us.00:40:23.840 --> 00:40:31.920


But yeah, I mean it's for anybody that's struggling with that, just know it it's it definitely gets brighter, but also you get stronger and you continue to be.00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:34.079


Resilience is a muscle you have to build.00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:39.440


Have to, have to, and you won't regret prioritizing your piece.00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:54.079


And then also what you'll see too is that if there's an opportunity where maybe you're not spending time in a certain spot during the holidays, that there's so much other maybe great friends or great friend family that you do end up spending more time with, right?00:40:54.400 --> 00:41:00.880


So because it it doesn't have to always be a all or nothing, it just maybe like your your core nucleus that you're used to.00:41:01.039 --> 00:41:07.119


You'd be very surprised how many friends become family, how many extended family becomes that family that you like to be around.00:41:07.199 --> 00:41:11.679


Um, and so just really being mindful of that, and then also remembering that your kids are watching you.00:41:11.920 --> 00:41:20.400


So if you are, you know, heading into a toxic situation for for you and your spouse, um, trying to stay united as a team, number one.00:41:20.559 --> 00:41:24.639


But number two, knowing that your kids are watching, what do you want them to pick up?00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:30.320


What do you want them to associate with Christmas or the holidays, right?00:41:30.480 --> 00:41:38.239


Do you want it to be where, gosh, my you know, mom and dad, they seem stressed, they seem overworked, they seem like they're just they're overspending.00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:41.280


Or mom and dad allow so-and-so to treat them.00:41:41.599 --> 00:41:42.480


To treat them a certain way.00:41:42.559 --> 00:41:43.519


So that must be acceptable.00:41:44.239 --> 00:41:44.400


Right?00:41:44.480 --> 00:41:45.119


Like that must be okay.00:41:45.360 --> 00:41:59.920


They maybe call you out your name, or they talk to you any type of way, or the tone is different, or maybe they're short, or they're talking to your partner, you know, and it's like, wait, is I thought that was okay because mom or dad, you allowed it, or I saw this behavior and I thought that was the norm.00:42:00.079 --> 00:42:18.639


And it's like, it's I think we need to normalize acknowledging or being able to say the thing that may be uncomfortable, or addressing the elephant in a room, or if you feel like, you know what, I don't want to take all of that on, I'm gonna remove myself from the situation because it's not healthy for me.00:42:18.719 --> 00:42:19.039


Yes.00:42:19.199 --> 00:42:20.079


That's that's important.00:42:20.320 --> 00:42:20.639


Yes.00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:25.840


And to your point, right, age-appropriate conversations with your kids about where you are.00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:26.159


Yeah.00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:36.480


You and your your spouse are just you, if you're um in a single uh household, of just being transparent about where you are and saying, you know, I really want to focus on experiences and quality time.00:42:36.639 --> 00:42:42.480


What can we do rather than you know, buying gifts that I may not necessarily be able to purchase at this time?00:42:42.639 --> 00:42:57.199


Um, so hopefully we gave you all just some tips and some things to think about if you are deciding that you want to, however you want to spend the holidays, you know, we wish you the best and most merry holiday that that you have.00:42:57.440 --> 00:43:07.280


And, you know, God is um overlooking and he's seeing everything that is is happening and it's supposed to be merry, joyful, magical.00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:08.639


So hopefully it is that for you.00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:12.480


And the present, you know, they call it the present is a gift, right?00:43:12.559 --> 00:43:21.519


So realizing that just waking up today or being, you know, being alive is a gift and taking that present moment as man, I'm blessed to be able to be here.00:43:21.599 --> 00:43:23.360


Yes, and at the very least, that's a gift.00:43:23.599 --> 00:43:24.320


That's a gift, right?00:43:24.400 --> 00:43:27.519


And to be able to celebrate that on the holiday season, too.00:43:27.679 --> 00:43:28.719


Yeah, yeah.00:43:28.880 --> 00:43:31.199


Well, thank you so much, Coupley Fit Fam.00:43:31.519 --> 00:43:33.599


We appreciate you as always.00:43:33.760 --> 00:43:37.280


If you are watching us on YouTube, please like and subscribe.00:43:37.519 --> 00:43:42.000


If you are watching our clips on social media, let us know your thoughts.00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:44.320


We always love to hear from you.00:43:44.559 --> 00:43:54.800


DM us too if any of these tips have helped you, um, or if you just need a little bit of guidance potentially in trying to figure out what works best for you and your family.00:43:55.280 --> 00:44:00.000


Pee follow us at Coupley Fit, C O U, P L E Y, F I T.00:44:00.719 --> 00:44:05.519


As always, keep growing, glowing, and feeling better together.00:44:06.159 --> 00:44:06.719


Bye.