Episode 56: If You Don’t Wear Your Ring, Are You Really Married?

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Hey Coupley Fit fam, welcome back to another episode.

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If you don't wear your rings, does that say something about your marriage?

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I think so.

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In today's era, it's a hot topic.

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It's a hot topic, and we're ready to spill the tea.

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And I'm gonna tell you right now, my tea would be it would be piping hot.

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I'd be upset if you didn't have your ring on.

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I'm upset.

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I'm upset.

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Speaking of the disrespect, that's how I would feel.

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I would feel disrespected if you didn't have the ring on.

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And that's kind of it sounds like a bold statement, but I think back to, I mean, again, we were, this is, you know, we just celebrated nine years married.

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I think about what I invested also into the ring, just from that perspective, I need you wearing that every day, every moment.

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Do you know?

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Um, but also the the deeper than just the monetary aspect of what you put in, but also the meaning of it, right?

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Like, again, it's a major indicator of are you available or unavailable?

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I don't want you being out people thinking you're available.

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Yes, I think let's take it a step back before we kind of jump into modern time.

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Yeah.

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I know you were talking to me in the car about in the book of Genesis, in the Bible, and what's, you know, the meaning of more so the circle rather than the ring.

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If you can just explain a little bit more about that.

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Yeah, so biblically it was talking about the fact that it's not, it wasn't necessarily a you have to wear a ring, but more so the meaning and the symbolos and uh the symbolism of it being never-ending, the circle and infinity.

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I was like, oh wow, that's that's really impactful.

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Right.

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And then also just even how far it goes back in the book of Genesis of giving a seal or a ring, giving something that's a you know, lifelong commitment, just to let you know, like, girl, you would meet, you know, people going off the war war, all type of things, other colonies don't know if they're gonna come back.

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Like, girl, we we together.

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You know, I don't want you walking around together.

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We go together.

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I want people thinking, you know, you out here by yourself just because I'm not here today.

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Or this this week type of thing.

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So it just it's crazy how it does go that far back, and it's not just like this new thing where it's like, okay, you know, because again, some holidays and traditions, people feel like it's all being monetized, and the ring is all about how much so it's not not about how much money you spend, the dime, the this, but more so the symbolism of the actual ring, not how much it costs.

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Yes.

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And I want to quickly add to that the reason that it's also on your left hand and on that particular finger is because there is supposed to be, it's either a blood vessel or uh something of that nature that that goes to your heart.

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So it goes to your through your arm and it goes straight to your heart.

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So that's also another symbolism around the the ring, and then also being on your left hand on that particular finger.

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Oh, I mean, that you putting putting a whole game now, connect it to your heart.

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Yes, don't don't disconnect your heart, you know.

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Um but that's a guess a great call out.

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Yes.

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So I think that adding in both of those pieces, right?

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Kind of taking it a step back.

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I also would be curious to know when did it become a you know, quote unquote thing that you wore a ring and what during kind of what time period that would be?

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Um I would just be interested in that.

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But let's really talk about, let's talk about before we jump into like marriage and wearing your ring.

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The yes, we talked about the symbolism of the ring, but now let's get into a little bit of the that engagement part where we've talked about this in a previous episode.

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But what's the first question that people ask when you are engaged?

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That proposal happens.

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Oh my goodness, what is the what's in the carousel swipe over?

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What's in the IG reel?

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What's on the story?

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Show me the ring.

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Show me the ring.

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What did that mean?

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But whose ring specifically?

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Well, Beyoncé and them say, put a ring on it.

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Yes.

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If you like a thing, you should have put a ring on it.

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Yes.

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You know, and all of a sudden don't be mad when you see that he wants it.

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And then all of a sudden, all of the all of the ring pictures, yes, latte ring in it.

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Don't eat not even your car, hand on the steering wheel.

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Cute, cute.

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But you're right.

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Yes.

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I also want to add this piece in because this was something that even when we did this back in 2016.

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Do you remember we had the conversation of well, hold on.

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I'm not the only one that's engaged here.

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You are also engaged.

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So remember, I asked, I was like, would you be open to wearing a ring during our engagement period?

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And I feel like that's a hot topic because people are gonna be like, for what?

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He's not married yet.

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So why does he need to then wear a ring?

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Where that's not typically what happens.

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So I just wanted to get your thoughts on kind of that period when when I asked you that.

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We talked about it too.

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I think we we had an in-depth conversation about it.

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We did, and I and I think it's a great carlock that you mentioned that because it also laid the foundation for how you also felt about wearing a ring for your husband.

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Because that's a whole like that that's gonna be a part of this episode.

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Is is there a double standard where yes, the fellas feel like there's an expectation.

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She better have that ring on, yeah.

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All the money I spent on, but then you know, you that payment plan.

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No, but it wasn't a payment plan.

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Do what you gotta do.

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Hey, listen, judge free zone.

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Judge free zone.

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I'm gonna see you in two weeks.

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Okay, period.

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I'm gonna see you in two Fridays.

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Every two Fridays.

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Every two Fridays on payday.

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I'm gonna put something on it.

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I'm gonna put something on it.

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All right.

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You know, I'm I'm planning this out intentional.

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Yeah, so I technically I got you two rings.

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Correct.

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And I think so.

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We're gonna talk about two rings, but also I think the laying the foundation of wearing the ring because a perfect example.

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Yeah, you gotta love it.

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I mean, it's just like the love story that everybody.

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Oh, it was the Usher Chili.

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But everybody wanted the Usher and Chili, you're so right.

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You're so right.

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And so with Nellie and Ashanti, you know, seeing on the reality TV show, she bought him like a Super Bowl ring.

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I'm talking about rocked up, carried, bow, bow, bow, baby.

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Wait, but let's also not forget that it was engraved with the I love you, and then the heart that she used for love was a diamond, and it was shaped like a heart.

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She went all out, went all out, and basically he was like, and I think he was going on tour or something like that, and was like, you know, I'm good, I'm not gonna wear it.

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And I just saw you could see it in her face where it was just like, what do you mean?

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Visibly upset.

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Visibly upset.

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But I think, right, there's multiple aspects of that.

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Where did you guys talk about when we get married?

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Are you gonna wear your ring?

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Or hey, I'm buying this ring for you, not just with the hopes that you wear it, but like it means just as much to me as it does to you that I'm wearing a ring.

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Because again, it's not that you ever want to be tit for tat, but Ashanti didn't say, Well, I'm gonna take my ring off because you're not wearing yours.

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Yes, but sometimes I think in marriages that does happen, and now nobody's wearing rings.

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Yes, I think again to take it a step back because you kind of you jumped forward a little bit on they're married.

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So they're you if you're married, sure, you know, in my opinion, both people should be wearing a ring.

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But I was talking previously an engagement period, because again, that's not common.

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That's not common for men to wear rings during the engagement period like it is for women, right?

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Now it's it looks as if, oh, well, she's off the market, but I may still be out here.

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I may still be, you know, I'm still looking single because I don't have a I don't have a ring on.

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And at that time, we still were going, you know, kind of in and out of clubs, right?

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Not often, but you know, if a friend, if a friend had a um a party or something like that, they were typically doing it at clubs, because again, we were 22.

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You're in your 20s, you know.

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I'm sorry, we were 20, we were like 24.

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You know, when you're in a club, you're looking at clubs, you know, you're uh you're out a little bit more, you know, when you're in your early 20s.

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Right.

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So it looks like I'm, you know, I am spoken for, but then if you're just out with no ring, right?

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It looks like you're still single when hold on, we're we're engaged.

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What are we what are what?

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So I just wanted to get your thoughts on when I asked you that.

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Yeah, because I think also just as we are talking more about this, people, I'm sure the listeners are probably like, this is crazy.

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What are you even talking about?

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This doesn't even happen.

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But I just wanted to get your thoughts on it.

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Yeah, no, I I just thought it was a good, um, a good foundation laying moment because I saw obviously your request, it made sense.

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Like again, it works it's it's two ways.

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It's everything that you just said.

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It was like, no, it makes sense.

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Is it a little, I don't want to say unconventional, right?

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But it's just so yeah, you're probably unconventional because everybody doesn't necessarily do it or talk about it, or it's not approach, but I think now again, you're you're having a conversation earlier, so that you're not having a conversation after you spent six months getting a ring built and somebody's not wearing it when it's like, hey, we're in the lead up stages now, and you got me a ring, I also got you one.

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Yes.

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Like, oh, thank you.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Like, thank you.

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Yeah, you know, and it doesn't have to be the forever ring, which I think is a whole nother topic of like, even if you are traveling or on tour, that ring, it's the symbolism, even if it's not that ring that you're using to get married.

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Yes, I I agree.

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And I just wanted to quickly get your your thoughts on it because I don't know if people because it's not talked about that often, I do wonder if if other women also feel that same way of yes, I have my ring, but he also, we're during this engagement period, we're literally planning our wedding.

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And is he uh, you know, does it look like he's also spoken for as well?

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So now, jumping ahead, I liked what you said about having a conversation about rings, right?

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And what does that mean to the other person?

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Because if it's not talked about, then when the situation comes up, like you mentioned in the Nelly and Ashanti case, she's feeling some type of way, she's upset about it.

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And I believe later in the episode he ends up going on tour, and I don't think he brings his ring with him.

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She's upset about it, and he was saying, Oh, well, I don't want to get robbed, and you know, those things, which on one end, for their situation is understandable because celebrities are getting robbed constantly.

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And so I do understand that to a certain degree, but there's plenty of ways.

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There are lab grown diamonds, there are the athletic, you know, uh bands that you can wear.

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There's other ways that you can wear a ring without having to necessarily wear that one in particular, but it sounded like for Ashanti, that was something that was very that was pivotal for her and what she wanted to see from both of them in this relationship.

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Yeah, and a lot of pro athletes are great example.

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You know, you see some of the quarterbacks and different players where clearly you're not maybe wearing the diamond owl ring or whatever.

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Which I don't think that's an expectation.

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But there they are instead of wearing no ring, because again, I think that's a great example.

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Like this is performance, because that's what some people say is like my job.

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Yes.

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I'm out there on the you know, utility or or I'm traveling and I may be in places where my ring could, you know, get me robbed or whatever.

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Completely understand that concern, but then it's like, okay, do we wear nothing or is there an alternative?

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Right.

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And I think having that conversation or preparing for that, a lot of things is preparation.

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So preparation would be seeing the athletes that wear the rubber, like it's a rubber band or not rubber band.

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It's a silicone ring that you can wear during sports while you're showering, etc.

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And so I remember even getting some of those and having some.

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So, like even in my briefcase, if something were to happen, and you know, you never want to lose your ring or any of those things.

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But if you do, it's like, man, I got a backup just in case.

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Or if I am playing sport or weightlifting or whatever, you can switch into that.

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So just being mindful, I think, is a big element and in preparation for it.

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But again, if you're not having a conversation, it's hard to even prepare for it or get a silicone ring or get a uh, I don't know, I forget the rings that basically it's like the diamond, but it's the lab grown?

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The yeah, the lab-grown diamond.

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So you could again, if you're traveling across a country or in another country, like you've got to be careful.

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Yes, which I really love that, honestly.

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You know, to be able to have something where it's like if somebody did take this, I'm not yes.

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And I know even for for us, the amount of traveling that we do that we're so blessed to do, honestly, you just being mindful that you know you are depending on where you're going, you are an American going there.

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And uh right now, right, there's there's a lot of heat around uh Americans in other countries, and we've heard of Americans being kidnapped, and just it can be a little bit unsafe.

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And so if there is a situation too where you are bringing your diamond ring with you, that's something I've even mentioned to you.

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I was like, would you be open to, you know, potentially purchasing another ring, like a lab grown diamond ring?

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I think I saw them on IG.

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Like honestly, you can find them like IG, Pinterest, and they're shining.

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So like it's one of those, they're shining.

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And you can get it for, you know, I think if you get it on a steel, it's under a hundred bucks, right?

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And it's just an alternative to still wear a ring, but it's not your actual ring that you don't want something to happen to.

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Cause I know for even me, sometimes, you know, we go some places and I'll just turn my ring around like the, you know, just my main ring, I'll turn that um into my palm so that you can't see what I necessarily have on because you just never know.

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A subway in New York, honey, you'll get jacked.

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You get to walk in somewhere, look around and people looking at you like you're lunch.

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Yes, yes, yes.

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So, to your point, right, just a different alternative for that ring.

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So, okay, so let's dive into the meat of it.

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If you are not wearing your ring, does that say something about your marriage?

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So I think I'm gonna look at this from two approaches.

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And this is there's not a double standard, but I think and there in some ways there there kind of can be.

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Okay.

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So on one end, does it say something about your marriage if you're not wearing your ring?

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I think for some men, depending on your conditioning and exposure, i.e., did your dad wear a ring?

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Did other men wear a ring?

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Because uh for a lot of because I see it too, just observations, right?

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Of both growing up and being out about, especially in business and different things.

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And I'm and I'm talking globally, like I'm seeing people in other countries, and I'm just like, okay, yeah, nobody.

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And I know you're married.

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You know what I'm saying?

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We're talking 20 plus years.

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You know what I'm saying?

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So it's just like interesting, right?

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And so I don't sometimes you know, you don't always ask to pry into like, hey, why don't but I will observe if I see their wife or see them together, like is the wife wearing a ring?

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And the answer is almost like always.

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So I do see that difference at times where it's like, okay, there are some husbands that don't wear their ring, but I think it may be more telling if the wife is not wearing her ring or all of a sudden stops wearing her ring.

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To me, that's more of an indicator than if a husband's not wearing his ring.

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Because unfortunately, like it is, I would say, like, I don't want to say 60-40, but like it could be 60.

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I would say I'm willing to bet 30% don't wear a ring, 30 to 40 percent of like married, yeah, married men may not wear a wedding ring, like 30 percent, I think.

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Okay.

00:15:12.159 --> 00:15:14.159
This is just a this is literally, I have no data.

00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:15.440
No, no data.

00:15:15.679 --> 00:15:16.399
There's no data behind this.

00:15:16.799 --> 00:15:17.440
This is just your observation.

00:15:17.679 --> 00:15:18.320
This is my observation.

00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:23.120
Ballpark guess is probably like, you know, three out of ten may feel like I don't have to wear a ring.

00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:25.039
I'm married, but I don't have to necessarily wear a ring.

00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:29.600
And I think that that's a little bit different than maybe women that are married in a percentage.

00:15:30.000 --> 00:15:31.919
Okay, and why do you think men don't wear a ring?

00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:40.320
Again, like I was saying, I think some people just feel like I again, the ring, like you said, for the engagement, it's such a big thing for sh the wife.

00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:41.200
Show me your ring.

00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:46.080
You're not asking to see the the fiance his ring or hey man, what does your ring look like?

00:15:46.240 --> 00:15:49.759
It's very much more one-sided towards the wife.

00:15:49.919 --> 00:16:14.799
And also, yeah, I just I I think that's been so normalized that you know, yes, yeah, and so well, it's interesting you say that because in my observation as well, just from what I have seen from a um what I've seen from men, same thing that you're talking about, where men may or may not be wearing their rings.

00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:16.320
I'm even talking about people of the cloth.

00:16:16.399 --> 00:16:20.799
Like sometimes you see a brother that's like of the cloth, like you, you know, like clergy.

00:16:20.960 --> 00:16:25.120
You know, you're you're you're not just a member of the church, you like, you know, yeah, you're a decision maker.

00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:32.559
You know, you're counting the, you know, come on, but you don't go, you know, you may not have the white gloves on, but you might be counting some in some ties and offerings.

00:16:32.720 --> 00:16:33.200
Come on now.

00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.399
That's like, dang, so-and-so been married for 50 years, don't have don't wear a ring.

00:16:36.480 --> 00:16:37.360
It's like interesting.

00:16:37.679 --> 00:16:39.120
Interesting, interesting.

00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:48.720
So I um I think it's more normalized, like you said, for men not to wear their rings, although I personally don't agree with that.

00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:58.000
I do and have seen uh more women not necessarily wearing their rings.

00:16:58.399 --> 00:17:07.839
And it's interesting because for women, I do feel like there maybe it is more of an emotional attachment to the symbolism of the ring.

00:17:08.000 --> 00:17:18.640
So therefore, if I purposely am taking it off the finger that it's supposed to be on, and I see a lot of women move it to their middle finger, or they'll wear just, you know, a different ring completely.

00:17:18.960 --> 00:17:30.880
And I just want to say that's a that's a whole nother, I just want to pause right there that I think that speaks to the differences between the men and the women is that, like you said, some women are sending a signal by moving it to a different finger or wearing a different ring.

00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:31.039
Yes.

00:17:31.200 --> 00:17:32.640
I'm saying the dudes are wearing nothing at all.

00:17:32.799 --> 00:17:38.319
I know that it's not like they're switching it to another finger or swapping the ring out, and there's like, like, nah, fam.

00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:40.000
Yeah, you know, might have an oar.

00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:42.720
I seen a I seen a dude married, had an oar ring on the wrong finger.

00:17:42.880 --> 00:17:46.240
I said, dang, he's wearing a ring, but it's for health and wellness.

00:17:46.559 --> 00:17:49.440
Like you could have got it.

00:17:53.440 --> 00:17:55.680
He's like, nah, make this a pinky ring.

00:17:56.559 --> 00:18:04.799
So uh do you so I do think that it is telling of the relationship to your point when a women when women do not wear their rings.

00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:08.960
I think it very much is uh, you know, I'm not happy in this relationship.

00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:11.839
I may feel uh message.

00:18:12.079 --> 00:18:14.240
Yeah, I'm not happy in this relationship.

00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:16.799
I don't feel connected to this relationship.

00:18:16.960 --> 00:18:21.599
It may feel more roommates at this point than it does, maybe husband and wife.

00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:23.039
No, go ahead.

00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:23.519
No, go ahead.

00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:24.720
No, I was just gonna say something else.

00:18:24.880 --> 00:18:34.480
You know, I saw this on the gram, you know, but on on Instagram, there is essentially, you know, a guy talking about how he was went up to a lady out and about, pulled up on her, asked her for a number.

00:18:34.559 --> 00:18:35.599
All this she tell me how she's married.

00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:36.880
He's like, Why don't you got a ring on?

00:18:37.039 --> 00:18:38.400
Tell me what you married.

00:18:38.640 --> 00:18:44.960
So he's thinking she's available, she's out there, yes, pulled up on her, and then she was like basically super effective.

00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:47.359
Like how dare you like how dare he pull up on her.

00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:49.279
She's like, he's like, girl, you ain't got no ring on.

00:18:49.359 --> 00:18:51.279
I thought you was maybe out and about.

00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:56.319
Not to say that you can't be out and about, but it's more so the combination of you're out and about, right?

00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.480
You don't have your ring on, which prompted someone to say, Oh man, are you available?

00:19:01.359 --> 00:19:04.319
And that's you know me, I've been saying this for years.

00:19:04.480 --> 00:19:11.200
That's personally how I feel about men not wearing their ring and being in a committed relationship and marriage.

00:19:11.440 --> 00:19:12.640
In my opinion, right?

00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:14.480
Let's say you're out with your boys, right?

00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:18.960
You guys are hanging out, you're kicking it, and that same thing happens, right?

00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:22.000
Uh a woman comes up to you and is like, oh, hey, how you doing?

00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:22.400
Right?

00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:25.039
This is that and the other, and you don't have a ring on.

00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:32.960
In my opinion, I'm just throwing this out there, I think men might take it a little bit further than women, where women, like you just said, she looked like, how dare you?

00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:39.680
Where men may entertain a little bit more and might say they're not really going, oh, my wife's at home, my kids, I'm married.

00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:51.759
It's just like, oh yeah, like I'm getting some attention potentially that maybe I haven't gotten in some time, or this is, you know, a young tenderoni, I don't know, that is giving me the attention.

00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:59.680
So I might entertain her a little bit more, even though I am married, but I don't have a ring on to symbolize that I'm married.

00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:16.880
And, you know, there's times where men, you know, I've heard many a times the lying of, well, we're separated, or we're we're going through a divorce when you're going right back home to your wife tonight.

00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:23.119
So that's more so where I'm coming from is again, for I think for women, it's the same thing.

00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:30.720
You are showing with no ring and you are in a marriage that you are available for somebody to come and pull up on you.

00:20:31.039 --> 00:20:34.000
And in my opinion, I don't agree with that.

00:20:34.319 --> 00:20:41.839
No matter uh kind of where you are in your relationship, even if you don't feel like you are connected, you're still connected.

00:20:42.000 --> 00:20:45.519
You are still married, although it's not in the the best place.

00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:50.880
And if that's the case, then y'all need to have a conversation about hey, I don't know if I want to wear my ring anymore.

00:20:50.960 --> 00:20:55.200
And then that leads to a bigger conversation of do we want to be in this marriage together?

00:20:55.359 --> 00:20:56.960
Because that's in my opinion, right?

00:20:57.039 --> 00:21:02.640
Your ring is showing that you're committed, that you are in a at least a committed relationship marriage.

00:21:02.799 --> 00:21:07.920
Uh, so that's where I kind of but to your point, I think it's I think it's the rings.

00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:14.640
You know, I think it's a fair call out because I think a key indicator that you also said was it's I'm sending a message.

00:21:14.720 --> 00:21:21.599
Whether it's your ring is going to the other finger, swapping the ring out, not wearing the ring, or if you went from wearing it to not.

00:21:21.680 --> 00:21:22.559
And this goes either way.

00:21:22.880 --> 00:21:23.200
Like, right?

00:21:23.279 --> 00:21:25.920
If you're a husband and you're wearing it and you go to not wearing it, I agree.

00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:34.559
Or you in the road, you're not wearing it, it's like, ooh, like what prompted that change in the habit or in the behavior to cause that shift, right?

00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:35.759
And I think that gets to the root.

00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:44.400
I also kind of kind of not chuckle, but you mentioned the the scenario of you know a young Tinderoni going up to the husband, he doesn't have the ring on scenario.

00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:48.160
Like, I think about some of the shows that we watch, like King of Queens, the different things sometimes.

00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:51.759
Yes, and it's almost like comical where someone's like, he's not even like, I'm not even worried about it.

00:21:51.839 --> 00:21:52.319
I'm not even talking about it.

00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:55.519
Like nobody's even nobody's pulling up on Bill.

00:21:55.920 --> 00:21:58.079
And I think I'm not knocking Bill.

00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:02.319
That's how you lose him or her.

00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:03.039
Yeah, that's true.

00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:04.160
Because you think, right?

00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:08.079
It goes back to kind of that one person's, I don't want to say trash, right?

00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:18.960
But one person's trash is another person's treasure, that type of situation where although you may think, oh, nobody wants him or wants her, and then all of a sudden they go out, there's somebody that's checking, there's somebody that's looking.

00:22:19.119 --> 00:22:24.880
You reminded it reminded me of the uh example you told me that um and people still will pull up on you even if you have a ring.

00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:25.920
That's the crazy part.

00:22:26.079 --> 00:22:26.960
That's true, they will.

00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:28.000
And especially in Texas.

00:22:28.160 --> 00:22:29.359
Are you actually are you happy?

00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:32.640
In today's era, people DM you like, hey, hey, your things on the rocks?

00:22:33.119 --> 00:22:34.880
Yes, on the rocks.

00:22:35.759 --> 00:22:36.000
What?

00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:41.359
And then, but to your point, you mentioned for those that are out there that might be feel like my partner ain't nobody checking for them.

00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:42.400
I'm not worried about it.

00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:48.160
You mentioned one guy said he was worried, he he was trying to see, like, basically if his girlfriend was like popular or whatever.

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:49.200
I guess he created a profile.

00:22:49.599 --> 00:22:58.640
He did on the app, created a profile for basically she had like 300 requests, 300 requests, really put it in perspective for him, had to go get some flowers, really had to lock her down.

00:22:58.880 --> 00:22:59.440
What did he say?

00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:00.400
Hold her tight, boss.

00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:03.599
Hold her tight, he had to lock her down and realize, wait a minute, man.

00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:06.880
Yes, I had 300 dudes out here checking for my lady in one day.

00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:10.000
Yes, let me go ahead and tighten up.

00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:10.720
Come on now.

00:23:10.880 --> 00:23:12.400
Don't sometimes don't be confused.

00:23:12.640 --> 00:23:15.440
Sometimes it's a perspective shift, too, of like, wait a minute.

00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:18.079
Yes, you know that come on now.

00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:29.839
Yes, I do think that there does need to be more conversations with men about marriage and almost like marriage groups or something, right?

00:23:29.920 --> 00:23:32.079
Where you where men can really what?

00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:33.279
No, there's just not a lot.

00:23:33.440 --> 00:23:38.000
No, I just I'm just shaking my head because there's just not a lot of examples when it comes to marriage.

00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:41.200
Like that's there's examples for sports, there's examples for religion.

00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:43.440
I agree, there's examples for fantasy football.

00:23:43.519 --> 00:23:52.880
Like you can get a group for a lot of different things, but when you just start talking about marriage, and I think that's also why the numbers and statistics are so down on marriage right now, especially in our community, right?

00:23:53.039 --> 00:24:06.079
But uh, there's a lot of times where you're only seeing the negative side, you're hearing of the people that ain't wearing the rings, the divorces, the drama, the like that's not all that we see, but that's the majority.

00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:12.559
And maybe it's because the people that are like married and happy and those things, like those are that's not what gets pushed out.

00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:14.960
It's the negative news and the chaos.

00:24:15.599 --> 00:24:20.240
But there's a whole lot of, I mean, just the stats that they talked about of the amount of millionaires.

00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:22.000
I want to say 50 to 60 percent.

00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:25.039
I know in particular, black millionaires are married.

00:24:25.440 --> 00:24:34.960
So it just talks about, but again, one of the key foundations of family, of building uh wealth or generational wealth is being married and having the foundation of doing it together.

00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:38.319
Because you're gonna move faster, you're gonna move further and stronger.

00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:40.799
But a lot of times nobody's talking about that.

00:24:40.880 --> 00:24:44.720
Yeah, and it's the it's the era or the idea of like, I need to run it up by myself.

00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:47.200
I need to, you know, like it's it's about the individual.

00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:50.559
And it's like, man, you're so much stronger if you have that partner.

00:24:50.640 --> 00:24:58.319
And I think that's something that just gets so lost, I feel like right now, that there's just not like you know, there was the Cosby's, and now Bill, I mean, man.

00:24:58.480 --> 00:24:58.960
Oh man, Bill.

00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:06.480
You know, you used to be like, man, the Bill, the Cosby show, and like look at this example and you know, family just as one, it's like, ooh.

00:25:06.960 --> 00:25:07.519
Yes.

00:25:07.839 --> 00:25:17.119
No, I mean, I definitely agree, but but as we have, and you and I we've talked about this before, where there are there are examples.

00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:29.279
And are you getting around the right, I'm talking about men specifically, are you getting around the right men to be able to talk about, yes, the hardships that come with marriage, because we've talked about this before.

00:25:29.359 --> 00:25:29.920
It is a journey.

00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:33.440
I mean, you two people coming together, as they say in the Bible, right?

00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:41.119
It's the greatest mystery of being able to find somebody that you want to build a life with and create a life with.

00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:58.799
And so uh that would just be one of my call outs is for men specifically, because again, for women, you know, just although this wasn't necessarily what I was dreaming of when I was a young girl, a young girl is, oh my gosh, my wedding day, my wedding dress, what my theme is going to be, right?

00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:08.079
It's it's ingrained into us at such a young age, but it's not for young boys and young men, at in my opinion, almost ever.

00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:24.640
Uh, and so it really takes an example of seeing somebody that is successful in a marriage, that has put the time in, that has gone through trials and tribulations, but it's come out stronger on the other end to say, like, okay, so I can do this with somebody and I can find somebody.

00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:29.039
As we know now, what's happening with social media is the accessibility.

00:26:29.200 --> 00:26:36.160
And that's what I think is getting a lot of people married people specifically in trouble and maybe why they're taking that ring off, right?

00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:42.400
Of, oh, well, you know, there's there's my my algorithm is feeding me video vixens, right?

00:26:42.480 --> 00:26:48.559
Or on the flip side for women, it's feeding me silver foxes, you know, silver foxes, sticks packed out, right?

00:26:48.799 --> 00:26:51.599
These, you know, uh, not Morris Chestnut.

00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:53.440
What's the other chip and ale?

00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:55.599
You know what I mean?

00:26:55.759 --> 00:26:58.160
And so therefore it becomes one of those situations.

00:26:58.240 --> 00:27:15.279
And even going to your, like you said, what's what's being showed to us on the representation side is the, what is it, the, the, the, the Mormon moms, the the mom talk, which is this whole like swinger situation.

00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:18.160
We have we we we ain't even gonna talk about that.

00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:18.960
We're not gonna talk about that.

00:27:19.119 --> 00:27:20.720
No, but just the mainstream shows and stuff are just like.

00:27:20.799 --> 00:27:26.799
But just the mainstream shows and what they're showing you of what this is what marriage should either look like or you know, those things.

00:27:26.880 --> 00:27:31.119
And then you hear constantly when it comes to reality TV, because so many people watch it.

00:27:31.359 --> 00:27:35.359
Number one, it's not actually reality, it's being forced.

00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:40.160
It's it is something that is not manifested, it's something that is manufactured.

00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:56.160
And so therefore, you hear time and time again if you want to stay in your marriage, do not go on reality TV because it's just going to blow, you know, a door open that you're not necessarily prepared for, which may cause you to, you know, not wear your rings.

00:27:56.319 --> 00:28:01.279
Cause even, you know, we we used to be on the Real Housewives, we used to be on the Living Hip Hop, you know, long time ago, but we used to watch.

00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:02.640
So people get pushed in the pool.

00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:08.640
Pushed in, you know, and how you're treating your spouse and and wearing the ring, not wearing the ring, all of those things.

00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:22.160
So um, I just think for men specifically, I would love to see more men who are married, who want to work on it, want to put the effort, want to be in this relationship, have those conversations.

00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:24.880
And I would even love to see that, you know, like MenXL.

00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:32.799
We just came back from that in Orlando, and that was an amazing conference being a woman around all of these men and hearing what you guys are talking about, right?

00:28:32.880 --> 00:28:34.240
That barbershop talk.

00:28:34.400 --> 00:28:36.640
And it's just really interesting to hear the perspectives.

00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:39.039
And it is, you know, you guys are much more lighthearted, right?

00:28:39.119 --> 00:28:45.920
Where it's like, well, we don't really want to get into the crux of it, but let's kind of beat around and and do it with laughter and those things.

00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:47.839
Where women, it's let's get into it.

00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.160
Let's really get into the emotions of what we're feeling.

00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:52.079
And I feel like that's just a major disconnect.

00:28:52.319 --> 00:29:05.039
No, it's and as you gave those takeaways for maybe someone that's listening and is like, I want to be able to find that network or that group or that, you know, kind of marriage mentor.

00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:07.599
I would say start off by looking at it marriage mentor.

00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:07.920
I like that.

00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:08.720
Yeah, a marriage mentor.

00:29:09.039 --> 00:29:14.319
You have a mentor in business, you have maybe have a life coach or I'm grateful to have some marriage mentors.

00:29:14.480 --> 00:29:14.799
You do.

00:29:15.039 --> 00:29:18.000
And it didn't really happen where I was like, hey, can you be my marriage mentor?

00:29:18.240 --> 00:29:25.440
No, it really just came from the fact of I saw people that were again, it's not what you say, it's how you live.

00:29:25.599 --> 00:29:25.839
Yes.

00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:29.440
So if I see your family is thriving, it looks happy.

00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:31.680
Because again, I can't say that they are happy, but it looks happy.

00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:32.240
Sure, right?

00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:32.960
And people look at it.

00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:33.680
They're wearing their rings.

00:29:34.160 --> 00:29:35.200
They're wearing their rings.

00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:37.519
Uh, it looks happy, it looks genuine.

00:29:37.680 --> 00:29:43.440
Um, the families collectively together, you can feel that energy, right?

00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:46.079
Just like in sports, you can feel when somebody's like, Man, that person's taking it serious.

00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:48.160
Like their preparation was next level.

00:29:48.319 --> 00:29:53.519
But then you can just like you can ask somebody in sport or in whatever, hey, what did you do to get to where you're at?

00:29:53.839 --> 00:29:54.960
Ask somebody that in marriage.

00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:59.359
Like put your learning cap on, and and and I've done that, like, hey, man.

00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:05.119
You've been married 25, 30 plus years, but also y'all are like, man, y'all are rocking.

00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:07.519
Like you and your wife look like y'all enjoy each other.

00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:15.279
Tell me a little bit more about just you know, any tips you have, any recommendations, and then be able to start hearing some of the similar things.

00:30:15.599 --> 00:30:19.119
And that's what you can again chew out them, chew up the meat and spit out the bones.

00:30:19.359 --> 00:30:22.880
If it's adding value and you feel like, yo, no, that's like that's a key.

00:30:23.039 --> 00:30:23.359
That's key.

00:30:23.440 --> 00:30:23.839
That's a gem.

00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:25.680
Five love languages, that's key.

00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:26.160
Yes.

00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:26.559
Right?

00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:31.200
Communicating and not, you know, letting things linger and being upset like that's not calling somebody out their name.

00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:35.200
Not calling somebody out their name, wearing your rings, like those are key.

00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:36.240
And the respect.

00:30:36.319 --> 00:30:37.359
That's what I'm also hearing.

00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:40.079
More and more is respect.

00:30:40.319 --> 00:30:49.599
And so for me, what I would love, we know that men uh thrive off of respect and they want respect in their relationships, specifically their marriage.

00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:56.799
And so why not take that same respect that you want to receive and respect your wife by wearing your ring?

00:30:56.960 --> 00:30:57.839
That's all I'm saying.

00:30:58.079 --> 00:30:59.359
And and I would say too, right?

00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:00.079
Vice versa.

00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:01.440
Because of course, of course.

00:31:01.680 --> 00:31:04.480
Obviously, for that wife that's feeling like, man, I really want him to be able to do it.

00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:10.640
It's just more common for wives to wear their rings rather than men, at least in our opinion.

00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:18.640
And to your, but I'm saying to your also your point, there may be something somebody that's listening that there's a deeper root of why he's not wearing the ring and she is.

00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:23.920
And maybe this opens up that dialogue and conversation, but it can be out of mutual respect.

00:31:24.079 --> 00:31:31.279
Like now he's wearing his ring, but also maybe it's because he's feeling more respect on the home front or whatever that disconnect may be.

00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:39.279
Because a lot of times what I what I keep hearing that's a great takeaway from what you said, especially when it comes to the women, is that it's a communication of a message.

00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:40.000
Yes.

00:31:40.240 --> 00:31:42.319
I am communicating, even if it's not verbally.

00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:43.039
That's what people say.

00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:44.559
They communicate via your actions.

00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:51.119
If so that because my whole thing is if somebody's seeing you on the street and you don't have a ring on and you're married, there are people are assuming you're single.

00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:52.319
There's people available.

00:31:52.480 --> 00:31:54.160
And you'll hear people ask you, though, everything good?

00:31:54.240 --> 00:32:00.720
Like if you just to me, it's almost let you know like what uh kind of precedent you set.

00:32:01.039 --> 00:32:04.000
Because certain people, you see them without the ring, people will ask you.

00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:06.559
Yes, you are anything good, bro.

00:32:06.720 --> 00:32:06.960
You alright?

00:32:07.119 --> 00:32:07.359
You alright?

00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:08.160
Yeah, check on you.

00:32:08.160 --> 00:32:08.799
I'm praying for you.

00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:09.200
Yes.

00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:11.920
So there's two things that I want to uh bring up.

00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:16.720
So the first is going to be talking about what you just said with, you know, is everything all right?

00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:22.240
Do you think that even if you're going through a rough patch and rough patches in a marriage can last years?

00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:24.079
And that's what people I think don't understand.

00:32:24.400 --> 00:32:27.279
They, it's, oh, a rough patch is a patch, right?

00:32:27.359 --> 00:32:37.359
So it's just a small, it's a small piece of your life, which yeah, sure, in the in the scheme of your marriage life, right?

00:32:37.519 --> 00:32:38.000
Yes.

00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:40.000
But it can last a couple of years.

00:32:40.079 --> 00:32:41.440
And I think that's what people don't realize.

00:32:41.519 --> 00:32:48.160
And so do you think that even if you're in the rough patch, that your ring should still be on almost no matter what happens?

00:32:48.400 --> 00:32:52.000
Or do you think that there's certain situations and scenarios where you take it off?

00:32:52.160 --> 00:33:00.640
For example, if somebody is unfaithful, because that is that's a whole nother piece too, where people feel like, oh, I don't I'm I'm not connected to you right now.

00:33:00.799 --> 00:33:04.960
I don't know if I want to necessarily even be in this marriage because of of what just transpired.

00:33:05.200 --> 00:33:08.559
So I was gonna say I think the I think wearing it is gonna be key.

00:33:09.039 --> 00:33:11.039
I think either way in that situation.

00:33:11.279 --> 00:33:13.279
Um obviously, like you said, it's a signal.

00:33:13.359 --> 00:33:17.440
Sometimes people stop wearing it or take it off to send a signal or a message.

00:33:17.839 --> 00:33:26.799
But I would say obviously, because again, that's not talked about enough now either, is the longevity of working through it, figuring it out.

00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:33.039
I think I just saw something that like I smiled and I liked on threads was um Judge Joe Mathis.

00:33:33.440 --> 00:33:35.519
Basically, he's he's figuring basically his wife was like, I had enough.

00:33:35.599 --> 00:33:36.000
He's been on the road.

00:33:37.359 --> 00:33:40.160
You've been on the road too long, it's all about work, it's all about work.

00:33:40.240 --> 00:33:42.480
And he's like, Man, I'm getting ready to retire.

00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:49.519
It's been all about work, and now my partner I want to spend all of my time with and enjoy, yeah, is ready to bounce because she feels like she's been neglected.

00:33:49.839 --> 00:33:55.680
And I'm just using this as an example because it's public and he spoke on it, but now they rekindled it, worked it out, and they're back together.

00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:01.599
I feel like, and again, I don't know the situation of are they where they're wearing their rings when they were figuring out or beefing, whatever.

00:34:01.759 --> 00:34:09.519
But I just feel like if I'm him and you trying to figure it out, like maybe keeping a ring on might might help you in that process, right?

00:34:09.679 --> 00:34:16.719
Versus you're not wearing it, but yet you know deep down you're trying to figure it out or you're trying to work through it, it's just a rough patch.

00:34:16.800 --> 00:34:17.280
You know what I mean?

00:34:17.360 --> 00:34:23.440
So but that also makes it seem as if he's the one that's maybe in the wrong, if that makes sense.

00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:29.840
Where he's the one that's trying to it's because he's been working so much, right?

00:34:29.920 --> 00:34:42.239
And he's been spending 20 plus years on TV doing his Judge Mathis thing, that it's because of that that you know we're going to separate, divorce potentially, and so he's gonna keep his ring on.

00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:48.320
But do you feel like she should until whether the the if they do choose to go through with it on the divorce side?

00:34:48.719 --> 00:34:49.199
I think so.

00:34:49.280 --> 00:34:50.639
I I feel like yeah, right.

00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:52.320
That's just my opinion, right?

00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:56.719
I just feel like yeah, because I would hope again because I think the hope is always that you want it to work out, right?

00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:59.119
You got people got families, they got kids, right?

00:34:59.280 --> 00:35:00.239
They have all of these things.

00:35:00.320 --> 00:35:03.119
So again, if unless it's toxic and it's like no, they're better off.

00:35:03.280 --> 00:35:03.679
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:07.920
And I because there's situations like where yeah, it needs to be we need to sever this now.

00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:13.280
You see the you see the videos where people are physically having altercations, absolutely, things are escalating.

00:35:13.440 --> 00:35:19.119
That's a situation where y'all might need to take a lot of things off, like take some time, yes, create some space and some distance.

00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:22.400
And I think situations like that, rings are almost like the least of your concerns.

00:35:22.639 --> 00:35:23.599
The least of your concern.

00:35:23.840 --> 00:35:24.079
I agree.

00:35:24.480 --> 00:35:25.280
The least of the concerns.

00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:25.679
I agree.

00:35:25.760 --> 00:35:30.320
So I feel like it should be healthy, your physical space, like your energy, all of those things.

00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:44.239
And then, but ideally, if you can keep them on and stay engaged, because also, like you said, it's a you know, that eternity or that forever aspect and that like symbolism of like yo, no, this is the covenant.

00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:50.320
I because again, I've I've I know people that were like, Man, lost my, you know, got home and was like, Where's my ring?00:35:50.480 --> 00:35:56.960


Lost it, or it like it slipped off, whatever, and they were freaking out right because like, no, this is a big deal.00:35:57.039 --> 00:36:01.280


Like, I don't want to come home and be like, What do you mean you lost your own?00:36:01.360 --> 00:36:02.639


Well, because then at all you took it off.00:36:02.880 --> 00:36:03.440


Do you see what I'm saying?00:36:03.599 --> 00:36:04.559


What do you mean you took it off?00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:07.440


We're at the gym and you took it off for what reason?00:36:07.840 --> 00:36:08.239


What's going on?00:36:08.639 --> 00:36:10.800


Were the reps that too difficult or whatever?00:36:10.880 --> 00:36:14.800


Like, you know, it opens up another line of of discussion, and it's like, nah, that's not ideal.00:36:15.199 --> 00:36:15.440


Right.00:36:15.599 --> 00:36:17.920


So it's like losing the key or something even more serious.00:36:18.079 --> 00:36:21.199


But as a kid, it's like a house key or whatever it is, you're like, no, I gotta go.00:36:21.840 --> 00:36:26.880


With the shoelace, you got the house key around your neck, and you're like, nah, I gotta make sure I get in the house.00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:27.440


Period.00:36:27.599 --> 00:36:27.920


Period.00:36:28.079 --> 00:36:29.599


So it's like, no, I'm gonna keep that on me.00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:32.719


Okay, so here's my other question.00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:38.719


Do you think that a tattoo on your ring finger suffices as a quote unquote ring?00:36:39.119 --> 00:36:39.440


No.00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:40.159


Okay.00:36:40.559 --> 00:36:41.119


I'm gonna say that.00:36:41.440 --> 00:37:02.000


I feel like that's there's there was something that went viral on Instagram where a groom, they already said I do, uh, he went after the ceremony and had a tattoo artist there and just got a tattoo of I think I don't know, it was like an uh maybe her initials or something on his ring finger.00:37:02.239 --> 00:37:03.679


Yeah, so cute.00:37:03.920 --> 00:37:04.159


Cute.00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:05.440


It's it's cute.00:37:05.760 --> 00:37:13.199


But but but I would say it doesn't, but again, my question is Does it here's what is it a substitute?00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:19.039


My question for him is she getting the tattoo as well, and is she wearing her ring that you got her?00:37:19.119 --> 00:37:22.079


Or is it just the is it because again, is it one-sided?00:37:22.400 --> 00:37:24.719


How does she feel about you just having the tattoo?00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:25.920


She was juiced at the moment.00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:41.119


Well, I'm I'm saying she would maybe juice at the tattoo, but she she's wearing her ring, and it may come to that point of again, she might notice when she's out and about, nobody sees the initials or whatever it is, and they're asking him, you know, are you single?00:37:41.360 --> 00:37:54.159


Transparently, you know, we um have encountered some people who do get a tattoo on their ring finger, they're no longer with that person.00:37:54.320 --> 00:37:59.920


Yeah, that's true, they are with somebody else, and now is it like you just cover that tattoo up?00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:02.400


I know I know I know someone that did get another thing.00:38:05.119 --> 00:38:11.440


You get a fresh tattoo, but then are you throwing a ring over that, or is it just the tattoo and you're saying that that suffices as me showing my commitment?00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:12.960


First one was supposed to be forever.00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:14.159


So it's something forever.00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:28.719


So my other thing too is is with the tattoo, it really depends, uh, in my opinion, on the person because you can easily you're gonna come up with how many stories for having a tattoo.00:38:28.880 --> 00:38:34.000


Oh, this was old, I'm no longer with them, we're separated, I'm actually gonna get this covered up.00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:35.199


Right?00:38:35.360 --> 00:38:41.119


Like, I just feel like you can have a little bit more leniency and I'm gonna be have a little bit of time as people can say whatever, right?00:38:41.280 --> 00:38:56.320


Like one thing that we know, people can say anything, but it also I think it adds to it when there isn't the symbolism, there's not like all of those things aren't visible or transparent, and so it's just like wait, there's a disconnect right here.00:38:56.480 --> 00:38:58.880


I thought she's got her ring on, right?00:38:59.360 --> 00:38:59.599


Right?00:38:59.840 --> 00:39:02.480


And so, like you said, it's just there's there's a gap.00:39:02.719 --> 00:39:14.480


And I think the more that it's talked about, because again, I and I what I love too is that we always give the perspective of our experience and what works for us, but this doesn't mean it's gonna be what works for everybody, right?00:39:14.639 --> 00:39:20.079


So some people might feel like we're just gonna get tattoos or we're gonna wear no rings or whatever the case may be.00:39:20.159 --> 00:39:30.480


But what we've seen, and from experience, it opens the door for like, wait a minute, how come somebody pulling up on so-and-so at the bowling alley or at wherever?00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:34.559


And it's like, oh no, she they thought they thought sister so-and-so was available.00:39:34.719 --> 00:39:36.800


Yes, and it's like, okay, well, why?00:39:36.960 --> 00:39:37.119


Right.00:39:37.280 --> 00:39:39.840


That is it's a visible symbol, it's a what is it?00:39:39.920 --> 00:39:44.400


It's an outward symbol of your inward love on the ring finger, too.00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:47.360


So yes, yeah, no, I love that.00:39:47.519 --> 00:39:54.719


I mean, I've been talking to you about this for years, where I just, if I see something and I just will, I'll nudge you up like he's not wearing a ring.00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:57.840


I've been seeing people, some people be so cold they'll wear the ring around the neck.00:39:58.239 --> 00:40:04.159


Wear it as a wear it on the end, like like a high school uh uh uh uh state championship ring.00:40:04.719 --> 00:40:06.400


Got it around the neck wearing it here.00:40:06.719 --> 00:40:08.159


I've got it close to my heart.00:40:08.480 --> 00:40:08.960


Yes.00:40:09.199 --> 00:40:10.000


No, I agree.00:40:10.159 --> 00:40:23.440


I think it's something that has to be not only talked about, like you said, but it does need to be talked about on a larger scale, on a society scale.00:40:23.599 --> 00:40:31.920


That's why when you see somebody who has a ring on, you it's almost ingrained from us, ingrained into us, I should say, from the beginning, where you know and understand.00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:33.519


I mean, there's a ring ceremony.00:40:33.920 --> 00:40:40.159


You take your ring out, you put it on the other person's hand, you take your ring out, you put it on the other person's hand.00:40:40.320 --> 00:40:44.000


With with this ring, I symbolize literally go back to your vows.00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:46.719


Even if you created your own vows, there's some sort of ring ceremony.00:40:47.920 --> 00:40:48.559


You know what I mean?00:40:48.639 --> 00:40:50.400


There's some sort of ring ceremony.00:40:50.480 --> 00:40:53.599


And so I just I've always believed that if that is true.00:40:53.679 --> 00:40:54.239


Like, where does it go?00:40:54.400 --> 00:40:56.960


Like when you had the ring ceremony, it's just like what's out back.00:40:57.199 --> 00:40:58.320


Oh, you know, I just be chillin'.00:40:58.480 --> 00:41:01.840


But then something that I also Next to those cufflinks, yeah.00:41:02.800 --> 00:41:03.920


I repurposed it.00:41:04.000 --> 00:41:05.119


There are earrings.00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.039


Bling bling.00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:09.440


A Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan hoop.00:41:09.599 --> 00:41:10.559


Yes, yes.00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:30.000


But but the other thing too is uh just some from some of my personal experience too, is I've seen men may not be wearing their, and women too, may not be wearing their rings because it's a tough period in their marriage, or one person just feels like they don't need to wear it.00:41:30.159 --> 00:41:36.239


But then when it gets tough, like you said, uh the uh uh by any means.00:41:36.480 --> 00:41:37.119


You know what I'm saying?00:41:37.199 --> 00:41:39.119


But when it gets tough, oh well, let me throw it on.00:41:39.280 --> 00:41:40.639


Now I'm now I'm committed.00:41:40.800 --> 00:41:57.679


And I guess that's what's bothersome for me is that uh no matter where you are in your relationship, again, we're talking about this isn't a toxic relationship, this isn't an abusive relationship, this isn't one of those extreme uh on the on the negative end relationship.00:41:57.760 --> 00:42:02.719


We're talking about, you know, are these just some of the miscommunications that have been piling up?00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:08.880


Is this some of the we haven't talked about maybe certain aspects of our relationship recently.00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:10.880


So we do feel like we're maybe of a roommate.00:42:10.960 --> 00:42:21.119


Like we're talking more in that sense where it can be salvageable on your relationship of how important that ring is to wear uh at all at all times, in my opinion.00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:33.039


Yeah, or if you were a spouse on either side and maybe you're one of the fellas and you didn't see a man in your household or didn't have an example of somebody that wore a ring, or that maybe told you, what are you wearing a ring for?00:42:33.199 --> 00:42:34.800


Like you that may have been your experience.00:42:34.960 --> 00:42:37.519


And ever since then, you were like, no, I don't need to wear one, right?00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:43.039


Or there's a wife that, like you, to your point, might be wondering, hey, how come he's not wearing it?00:42:43.119 --> 00:42:45.760


How do we get to a point where we can have a conversation about that?00:42:46.000 --> 00:43:02.079


And maybe this can open up the door for someone to have that discussion, which you know that that again is why we want to be able to be a blessing through our lived experience and what we've seen, because you know, we want to see more people be able to make it to longevity families.00:43:02.239 --> 00:43:04.639


I mean, people really be able to stay together and live their best life.00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:06.159


Yeah, I agree.00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:07.760


Anything else you want to share?00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:15.039


This episode is being brought to you by Backlot Studios, the number one studio in Arizona when it comes to podcasting.00:43:15.119 --> 00:43:19.199


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Yes, I love it.00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:25.119


Well, thank you so much, Coupley Fit fam, for listening.00:43:25.440 --> 00:43:29.280


Please, if you are on YouTube, like and subscribe.00:43:29.440 --> 00:43:37.440


If you are watching us on social media, some of our clips, please follow us at Coupley Fit, C O U P L E Y F I T.00:43:37.920 --> 00:43:42.960


Until next time, keep growing, glowing, and feeling better together.00:43:43.360 --> 00:43:43.840


Bye.