July 22, 2025
Episode 42: How to Thrive as Business Partners and Spouses
Marriage + Business: How We Make It Work 💼❤️
Building a business and a strong marriage? It’s not easy—but it’s worth it.
After 9 years together and multiple ventures, we’ve learned how to switch hats, set boundaries (no biz talk after 7!), and protect sacred space for us. The real win? Learning each other’s work styles and communication needs so we support—not compete.
Because if the business fails, we can rebuild. But if the marriage breaks, the cost is way bigger.
🎧 Tune in to learn the boundaries, mindset shifts, and tools that help couples win in both love and legacy.
00:00 - The Marriage and Business Merge Introduction
06:05 - Different Hats: Business vs Marriage
14:01 - Navigating Power Dynamics as Couples
24:21 - Celebrating Your Partner's Success
33:26 - Setting Boundaries for Work-Life Balance
44:29 - Hiring and Team Management Strategies
51:28 - Key Tips for Success Together
WEBVTT
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Hey, cupply Fit fam.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Cupply Fit podcast, today's episode.
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We are talking about the marriage and business merge, what works, what we've learned, and we're excited to share more with you.
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The merge.
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I mean it truly is an integration of when you're doing business together and you're building on your marriage and also building on something together in business.
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How do we navigate it?
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And so many people, I feel like, want to do business with their partner Right, but it is kind of scary because there's those quotes out there like don't do business with family.
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With friends and family, friends and family At all costs, avoid doing business with friends and family.
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But it's like wait.
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I'm supposed to be building with my partner.
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We have our marriage.
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We're also thinking about doing these other endeavors.
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How do we do it together?
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Right, and this is a frequently asked question that we get from since we started back in 2016 and officially launched in 2017.
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People have always asked us how do you guys work together, how do you know which roles are for who and how do they do that?
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So we're excited to shed a little bit more light on that and people always ask too are you guys newlyweds like you guys look, like you love and like each other?
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And we're like, yes, yes, we're not newly, we feel like we're newlyweds, but we've been married for nine years in october, right.
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So it's like these are things that, if you can put in some some guardrails and have some foundational things and again, we're still learning but the things that we have learned and implemented game changers.
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Yeah, absolutely so.
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Let's first talk about our business hats versus our marriage hats.
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And they're different hats.
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They are different hats.
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Because sometimes, right, you got to come in and you know, lay down the law in business.
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I'm like, don't come laying down the law on me right at the house, hold on.
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And I think there is separating those different times when you can turn it off, because I think we all want to be able to turn it off at some point.
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But when you're in business with your spouse like when, like, I'm in CEO mode, not husband mode or wife mode, and it's like we do need to flip that switch.
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Yes, and it's interesting because I like to also watch other married couples in business on TV, and so mayor I think it's married to real estate is the one that I like to watch on HDTV and they are husband and wife team.
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He's in the construction space, she's the realtor as well as the interior designer.
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But it's interesting because when you see some of their behind the scenes I'm just going to specifically talk for women it's it's hard to go from being in that alpha space of okay, I have, you know, for example, you are, you have to be this certain person in business.
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And specifically for women to even be taken seriously, where for men you guys already show up with the confidence, you guys are taught that from the beginning you guys automatically almost get this respect as opposed to women, and then having to switch that uh, to being more of back into feminine mode when you're at your, you know, in your marriage, or you're at home, and so I know that's a difficult thing to do for most women that I specifically speak to, even if you're just a woman that's high level, high value, and you are coming back home and it's like, oh my gosh, I have to flip that switch.
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I'm not in CEO mode, where I'm you know I'm, I'm visionary and I'm strategic and I'm all of these things.
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It just looks a little bit different when you're in your home life as opposed to your business life.
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And so my question to you is because I'm sure, like you said, a lot of women are asking this how do you make sure you're not dumbing yourself down Because you're like turn off visionary, turn off alpha, turn off execute.
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It's like, well dang, are you turning off some of your strongest attributes and things, which, again, everybody needs a break.
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But like, what does that look like to still show up as your authentic self at home?
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Yeah, I think it just looks.
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It's in different ways, right.
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So you may not be even your tone.
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That's first and foremost right, where you can have a deeper tone, where you're in your business.
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But at home you can have a lighter tone.
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And so I was watching a podcast, uh, just the other day and, um, it was a secret service agent.
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She is a female, she has blonde hair, blue eyes, she's from New York.
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She was talking about how you have to show up with different versions of yourself, especially as a woman.
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Right, if you're in business, you have to show up as a, as a particular almost, uh, alpha or, uh, you know, even dominant in some ways, version, but then at home you want to potentially flip that switch.
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If you're in a relationship that allows you to do that, um, because it gives you the opportunity to be more in your feminine energy, as opposed to, you know, in business, where you do have to be a little bit more in your feminine energy, as opposed to, you know, in business, where you do have to be a little bit more in your masculine energy.
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Also, depending on which industry you're in, I know for us in the health and wellness space, it's still very male dominated.
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You know, I remember, even when we first started, uh, we would be in boardrooms and I'm the only female in there and they're literally not even looking at me.
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They're looking at you like, oh, he has to be the one that's the visionary and I'm just going to speak to him, but you would look over to me and then all of a sudden, people are just thrown off and and looking like wait, hold on, you're, she's the one that's going to be speaking, she's going to be the one that's giving the vision and doing these things.
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Uh, so it's definitely different in that sense, but just, it's not necessarily.
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It's a different way of showing up, is what I would say.
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And then I think not to go too off track here, but I think this kind of goes into that element.
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I think sometimes as husbands, when your wife is powerful, doing great things, visionary, successful in business, right, like a lot of people say they want that out of a partner but then they're not actually ready for it, right?
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Yeah sure.
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So then, because I think there's this dynamic where some women may also choose a partner that's like I want to be able to dominate at home the way that I do in the office right, Maybe a little bit more using the word submissive, which I know that's a little bit of a trigger word for some.
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It can be a trigger word.
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I mean, boy, there's a, there's a fellow right now it's like, wait, submissive, but like if that is your role in your marriage.
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And I'm going to be honest, I've seen it too and I have someone that comes to my mind immediately.
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But they've been married for 30, 40 years and it's like that there, that's their role, that's their dynamic.
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Wife is a doctor, husband is like wifey whatever I can do to support you, he works, all the things, but it's like it's very much the roles are structured that way.
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Um, my question to you is if someone is maybe struggling with that dynamic or trying to define, like those hats, what are any tips?
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When it's like I actually want to be in a more of a traditional situation where, okay, I am the boss at work, I do come home and I want to take that boss hat off and not have to be the dominant one in my marriage.
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I want it to be a little bit maybe traditional, or I want my husband to be able to step into that role once I get home.
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Any tips or just recommendations for someone that maybe is trying to navigate that dynamic?
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Well, great question.
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I think a lot of that has to do with leadership and it has to deal with your dynamic.
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As we always say from any of our episodes, it's going to take communication, communication, and it does have to deal with what do you want from me in my role, when I am at home?
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What are you looking for?
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Do you want to lead a little bit more, in the sense of even?
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Do you want to be?
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Uh, you're in charge of the vision of the family, you're in charge of, maybe, the finances of the family, you're in charge of maybe some of those more leadership roles.
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As opposed to when you're in business, it could be flipped where, you know, for the female, she may be the one that's a little bit more dominant in those roles.
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So I think effective communication is number one.
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I think number two is also figuring out how you want to lead.
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What does that look like?
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And if it's more of a servant leadership, which we always talk about, then it's going to be give and take, where we've done a great job over the years of talking about.
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Okay, this is where I feel comfortable in my role and this is where do you feel comfortable in your role.
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And so I would ask you that same question as well.
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You know as a woman, but then, coming home right, what would be some things that you would want from a spouse that is more of an alpha woman?
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Yeah, well, I can use us as a perfect example, okay.
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So yeah, no, I don't want to put us like right on the spot, no, I'm going to put us on the spot, right.
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But you know, I would say one thing I'm looking for is there's a famous song R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
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Oh, I'm saying People want respect, right.
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But what does that respect look like?
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It's appreciation, it's hey, thanks for working hard today.
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Whatever that might look like, hey, thank you for taking out the trash, thank you.
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So I think it starts.
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But again, it's the servant leadership that you mentioned as well, where I'm putting forth the effort, where, when we talk about the business hat or the marriage or like husband hat, right, where you're kind of taking that hat off.
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I think a key piece is there should be defined roles, and we're talking about these are things that are this is an everybody role, this is a family role.
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Ie doing the dishes.
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That's not my wife does the dishes or my husband does the dishes.
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Contributing to the household, everybody's contributing.
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But that's a perfect example of like we equally wash fold, et cetera.
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Right, just for example.
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But we could define other roles where it's like hey, like for me.
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I know I've always been in the mindset of like, I'm always, I'm going to be a provider, right, like, I'm going to go out and get it.
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That's my mindset.
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But what we realized was I don't also need to be in charge of the finances.
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I can actually say you know what?
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You were the treasurer at your high school, like the spreadsheets, excel, you enjoy that.
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For me, that would be a daunting task.
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To present this to you and be like hey, here are all the numbers in the break, I'd be like I'm not interested, let me get an overview.
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But like, you take pride in that.
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So that's a perfect example to me of like taking that hat off.
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Where it's like okay, you can be in the provider mode and mindset, but you don't have to also manage all the finances and keep track of all of the spreadsheets and planning travel and different things.
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Like, there can be balance.
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But again, it doesn't mean everything falls on your wife or everything falls on the husband, because those roles are defined and we're having those conversations and it also it can change, and I think that's a big part too is that it can evolve.
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Especially with the new, the versions of ourselves.
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Come on now that's big because again, like how often and I just think of just in real time, cause we have so many people that we know but an example is how many stay at home moms or or a husband right, stay at home, husband either way but like they started creating content at home.
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It goes viral.
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Now they have brand deals and they went from being the stay-at-home spouse to now you actually are the provider in the family and like that content is now contributing in a totally different way and now it kind of flips of like wait, we're having different conversations.
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Now it's like how are we budgeting?
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How are we planning budgeting?
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How are we planning and being prepared that whoever's in the provider seat or whatever ebbs and flows happen financially?
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That like we're still on the same page, that we're in this together, no matter who's making this or no matter, like how we decide we're going to flow in this season.
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Yes, two things came to my mind when you said that.
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Number one is when you said, define the roles.
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I also think that you need to look at it, too, from the essence of running a business, right?
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So who is going to be the visionary, who's the strategist?
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Who is the one that's going to be more operational?
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Who is the one that is going to take over the finances, or more financially sound in that sense, right?
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So I think taking that same concept and bringing that over to your marriage as well is another key piece.
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And secondly is going to be safety.
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I think that's something else, especially for women.
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That's something that we look for.
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We're looking for safety.
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Whatever that looks like for each woman, I think, is going to be a little bit different.
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For some it's financial stability, for some it's protection, for some it's all right.
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But I think when you're able to go from running a business together, like we do, to then coming over and being in married life, there has to be some sort of safety, specifically for women, in order for us to kind of bring that alpha down, because if you don't feel it, you're like I have to be alpha all the time because I'm not feeling safe or I'm not feeling protected or I'm not feeling, you know, I am the breadwinner.
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So if I lose my job, then what happens, you know?
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And we've seen a couple of relationship dynamics that have been like that.
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And then we also see to your point when you said house husbands nothing wrong with that, but they end up being the ones that are staying home, that are taking care of the kids, and the mom is just hey, I'm out here, I have to work, I have to do everything I can because I am the safety net for everybody.
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So it can be hard to turn that, that alpha off in that sense.
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But, um, I think it's just a great idea when we talk about, I wrote down uh, in business we lead based on strength and at home we lead based on love.
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And leading based on I really appreciate you saying that too the strength and then the love.
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And I also think for someone that's listening, because you know there's people I know that are tuning in, that are thinking about starting a business, maybe just launched a business with their spouse but also look at how you're running the household, like you said, because that's such a great example of like, okay, are we talking about our finances right now?
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Are we planning ahead for what our vision statement is and like who we want to be for the future?
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Right, whatever that may look like, but that's so key because those are going to be things you have to do in your business.
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But like, how are we doing that as a family?
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First, if we're looking and we're like man, we haven't even planned out the next vacation where we want to live, what our vision in like future, what we want that to look like, it's going to be hard to launch a business and do all of those things in another area and it's like wait, we haven't done that in house first, which I think that foundation is so important.
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And, as you find any gaps or opportunities which we all have opportunities to continue to like, we're still working, refining, improving processes, timing we meet time a day, right Like how we present and follow up on different things.
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So like you're learning that as a married couple and then you can add business to it, versus trying to add business, and you're figuring out two things in two hats and you're like wait, we didn't have this over here figured out yet Correct, correct, and again, it is also when we're talking business and in marriage, it's really finding out what is your strength, what is your partner's strength, where maybe some areas of opportunity where you may need a little bit more help in this area.
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I need a little bit more help in this area, and that's a great way to even start too, and you can take tests for that.
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You can also use chat GPT for a lot of what we're talking about as well, using your AI tools to figure out what is that vision for the family, what's the vision for the business, but then also like, how can you merge the two?
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You can be very specific on chat GPT, which is what I really love.
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If you have a question, ask and it will spit out.
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You know an entire uh, you know sometimes a program for you or your, your mission statement, your visionary statement, whatever that looks like, in order for you to just be more seamless in going from being in a marriage and going into a business, because it's not easy to do that.
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And then we are going to get into how do you integrate the two?
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Right, because it's not going to be there's one or the other when you are a husband and wife team, because there is a lot of integration.
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And so I know something for us that we like to do is something called a hard stop.
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We've mentioned this before, but a hard stop is hey, by 7 pm, we are not going to talk about business anymore, we're going to switch gears into relationship.
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And then that's typically when we'll ask each other hey, what were, you know, three of your roses and three of your thorns today, and what was something you learned?
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Right?
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And now you start asking more about the person and what your day was like.
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How can I support you?
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Then it starts turning.
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You need to, you know, turn that switch into relationship mode, cause one thing we've always mentioned is that, um, if your business fails, that's fine, but you don't want your marriage to fail.
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So making sure you're working on both of those equally and then also realizing that there will be times where the business is going to need a little bit more attention, and vice versa for your marriage, too, where it's going to need a little bit more attention, especially when you start talking about life events that happen, you know, even over the past two years.
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For me, I had both of my last living grandparents pass right, so there were some times where you know you maybe had to come in and pick up a little bit more of the slack on both ends, just because it's like whoa, this was.
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Some of these things were unexpected and there's a lot of emotions and feelings that are coming with it that you know I'm still navigating, but your spouse is there to kind of pick pick that up.
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And I think that also goes to what we've mentioned before, where marriage is not 50, 50 all the time.
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There's times where it's 70, 30, it's 60, 40, and just being mindful of that, uh, both in your marriage and then also in your business, yeah, and it's like any team right, there's times where you know I'm a big Michael Jordan fan, but Michael Jordan flew game like clearly I mean he had a great game, but like he had the flu, so literally other people had to pick up the slack, the assist, the rebounds.
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Maybe he's not getting back as much on defense, but that's not forever, like he's literally dealing with something today or for that season or moment.
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How can we help?
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You mentioned something about tests and I know sometimes, like I know for me, I used to get anxiety, like with some school.
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They like test pop quiz.
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I'm like, oh man, but the test that we're talking about from a personality or collaboration or relationship side, are really helpful and can be a game changer for somebody, and some people just don't know that the resources are out there.
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So one of them that we took, obviously the five love languages Right, that's more relationship, but it'll at least let you know like, oh, I need to make sure that we do a seven o'clock hard stop, but we also spend quality time together and go for a walk or we, you know we we read together, or positive affirmations throughout the day positive affirmations.
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But that was so amazing.
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You're awesome.
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I'm so proud of you closing that deal, and that means helping you know You're awesome.
00:18:21.877 --> 00:18:22.679
Yes, I'm so proud of you.
00:18:22.699 --> 00:18:27.546
Great job closing that deal, or just great job helping me, but for real, but that means so much because it's like, oh my gosh, you really appreciated that.
00:18:27.546 --> 00:18:33.866
And I'm the type not to say that this is petty at all, but I'm a Taurus and sometimes like-.
00:18:33.866 --> 00:18:41.419
Listen, petty patty over here, Come on if I do the dishes, I need acknowledgement and I will wait until you don't see those flowers.
00:18:41.419 --> 00:18:42.381
You don't see those dishes.
00:18:42.381 --> 00:18:45.645
Did you notice that I put that away so like but?
00:18:45.890 --> 00:18:47.673
Which sometimes you have to do, and that's what.
00:18:47.673 --> 00:18:52.555
So, to your point of what you're saying with that you know, especially for well men and women.
00:18:52.555 --> 00:19:02.077
But sometimes you do have to point it out Because, especially when we're talking about integrating your business and your marriage, some things can just be simply overlooked.
00:19:02.077 --> 00:19:04.772
And it's not malicious, it's what we always say.
00:19:04.772 --> 00:19:12.338
Sometimes it can be just a little bit of the chaos of we've got a lot going on right now yeah, and we always say to charge it to my head and not my heart.
00:19:12.358 --> 00:19:19.153
Yes, because there's times where you know, uh, you know I think about I'm a big detroit lions fan, but I'm just thinking about dan campbell.
00:19:19.153 --> 00:19:20.135
He had a, we had a game.
00:19:20.135 --> 00:19:23.767
He gave away three game balls and Jared Goff had a perfect game.
00:19:23.767 --> 00:19:26.470
Like he threw yes, he made every pass, I think, like 18 for 18.
00:19:26.470 --> 00:19:28.557
18 for 18, and he didn't get the game ball.
00:19:28.557 --> 00:19:32.057
He's like, oh my gosh, I didn't even realize I didn't give him a game ball and he threw a perfect game.
00:19:32.057 --> 00:19:49.551
But like it happens.
00:19:49.571 --> 00:20:03.980
But when side of things, uh, the five love languages is one Gallup strength test is huge because if you can know, oh, this person is significance, is important, or relatability, oh I know I can position them here or they're going to be best fitted to do outreach for this in the business because they're relatable and they're a social butterfly or those types of things.
00:20:03.980 --> 00:20:08.147
And the test isn't a right or wrong or a pass or fail.
00:20:08.147 --> 00:20:17.336
It literally is just answer honestly and I'm going to let you know more about your personality based on how you responded to these questions so we know how to work together.
00:20:17.336 --> 00:20:26.519
I know the Colby index was the last one that that one we took and it really gave us like how to collaborate and work together in partnership, which was huge Cause.
00:20:26.558 --> 00:20:44.553
One of the biggest takeaways it was a game changer for us was we work incredibly well together in partnership, but we can't work at the same, like table together, because we work differently, so like we literally will go into separate offices, get work done, come back and reconvene on, like, hey, this is what we got to accomplish.
00:20:44.553 --> 00:20:46.119
These were my to do's, these were yours.
00:20:46.119 --> 00:21:02.796
You might have one set of music playing on I may not have on headphones, but, like so many people have never gone through that discovery or found that out and you're like man, why aren't we working well together, sitting here at the table head to head and not getting as much done as we thought, and we feel like we shouldn't be in business together.
00:21:02.796 --> 00:21:07.119
No, y'all just needed to be at separate desks and it can be that simple as a breakthrough.
00:21:07.340 --> 00:21:17.892
Yes, and and to your point, right, we also realize that your day to day right you are, it's like that sales head down, grind the grind.
00:21:17.892 --> 00:21:18.092
It's also.
00:21:18.092 --> 00:21:19.955
It reminds me of right, when you were playing collegiate football.
00:21:19.955 --> 00:21:29.644
Day to day, you're prepping for the next game, as opposed to me, where I am more of the macro visionary.
00:21:29.644 --> 00:21:34.255
Where are we going in 5, 10, 15 years, making sure that we're staying on top of that?
00:21:34.255 --> 00:21:50.489
And then also when we're in meetings together as well, because that can also be, you know, if you're both alphas and it's like head to head, realizing that, okay, where your strength is is going to be in the closing of the deal.
00:21:50.489 --> 00:22:02.517
Right, where my strength is, it's going to be making sure that we have all of the information that we need and the R&D is done for you to be able to come in and close that deal if need be, and the R&D is done for you to be able to come in and close that deal if need be.
00:22:02.517 --> 00:22:08.381
And then I come in on the back end with the follow-up with you know, just carrying the deal all the way through.
00:22:08.941 --> 00:22:16.506
And also for you, right, when we go out to events you love to network you very much your social battery when it comes to that is phenomenal.
00:22:16.506 --> 00:22:19.307
Me, listen, I get drained quickly.
00:22:19.307 --> 00:22:30.621
So also realizing that as well and also for me, I do, I do better in smaller groups where you can do better in larger groups Doesn't mean that we can't do both.
00:22:30.621 --> 00:22:34.195
It's just like where do you, where is it best for you?
00:22:34.195 --> 00:22:39.493
And also for a lot of times it's that social battery, the social battery too.
00:22:39.493 --> 00:22:53.499
So realizing just a few of those, hopefully that can help you all as uh listeners if you are looking to get into business with your uh spouse that those are just some ways that we had to learn over the years.
00:22:53.499 --> 00:23:04.971
And let's also preface by saying this has been almost nine years of learning that we've had to go through, so don't think that this is going to be something that's overnight Some of these.
00:23:04.991 --> 00:23:07.690
We didn't take that Gallup test until, probably a year or two, until into Cupply Fit.
00:23:07.690 --> 00:23:23.432
So give yourself that grace to be able to learn about your spouse and how they work, what their strengths are, where their areas of opportunities are, and then talk about it right, like when you get those test results.
00:23:23.432 --> 00:23:24.655
Let's talk about it.
00:23:24.655 --> 00:23:35.001
I know for both of us we're fortunate that at least on the Gallup test we have two strengths that are the same, which is focus and relatability.
00:23:35.001 --> 00:23:39.199
So for us, we don't ever have to worry about like are you going to be focused?
00:23:39.199 --> 00:23:41.314
Are you sure that you're going to be able to get this work done?
00:23:41.314 --> 00:23:43.319
Oh no, the work will absolutely get done.
00:23:43.319 --> 00:23:45.478
It's about making sure you're doing the right work.
00:23:45.478 --> 00:23:47.115
I know you need to be in the day-to-day.
00:23:47.115 --> 00:23:48.395
You're going to have day-to-day tasks.
00:23:48.395 --> 00:23:53.201
For me, it's going to be more on the larger vision and then working from there.
00:23:53.981 --> 00:24:02.204
And to that point I really love that you mentioned that, because working together and you know I always use sports analogies but it kind of reminds me of the patriot way.
00:24:02.204 --> 00:24:11.167
I know you're a big patriot fan, do your job, your job do your job, and sometimes it's that simple of play your role, but can I rely on you?
00:24:11.167 --> 00:24:12.587
Can I count on you?
00:24:13.107 --> 00:24:22.616
do your job be ready that goes in both marriage and business come on now, and also when it comes to that scenario of doing your job and doing your part, really really playing your role.
00:24:28.490 --> 00:24:29.212
It's okay to let your partner shine.
00:24:29.232 --> 00:24:31.423
I think sometimes people struggle with that a little bit because it's like we're in business together.
00:24:31.423 --> 00:24:45.135
But what happens when my wife gets the award, or my wife gets recognized, or my wife presents the idea and gets all the flowers, or my husband, and now it's like wait, I'm, that was my idea, I did that work or whatever, and it's like wait, this is a shared win.
00:24:45.135 --> 00:24:51.559
But also making sure that we can see that and acknowledge it, because it's no different than a team project or a sport.
00:24:51.559 --> 00:25:01.541
You're like man so-and-so got all the credit for that touchdown, but I caught the pass, or I did the study and I prepped the presentation and so share goals, shared vision, shared mission.
00:25:01.622 --> 00:25:04.826
And being able to really echo that to your partner as well.
00:25:04.826 --> 00:25:09.863
And again, give that reinforcement because, to your point, you can be vision operational.
00:25:09.863 --> 00:25:12.154
But again I'm coming in and closing the deal.
00:25:12.154 --> 00:25:19.040
You're the how I could be the wow at times, like I wowed you, but you're like yo, this is how we're going to bring this to life, which is the work.
00:25:19.040 --> 00:25:32.863
But then the person that's doing the work can feel like wait, I'm not getting the credit, and that's why it's so important to communicate it to echo hey, I appreciate you.
00:25:32.863 --> 00:25:35.612
But also, when your time to shine like man, I need to be the be the loudest cheerleader, the biggest cheerleader.
00:25:35.612 --> 00:25:45.094
You need to have the freaking towel over the head, rooting on you for real rooting on your partner, because if you're not, don't be a hater yeah, and you know what?
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