Episode 41: Faith + Vision = Wealth

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Hey Coupley, fit fam.

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Welcome back to another episode.

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Today we are talking about the million dollar marriage mindset, faith, vision and finances.

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Let's get into it.

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So we stopped asking each other how much money do we need, and we started asking what kind of marriage are we building?

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That changed everything, and we're going to tell you how.

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It's a shift in mindset.

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I'm so excited we're talking about this too, because one I think it's the, it's the energy of doing it together that makes such a big difference, because that foundational piece is really what we're building on when it comes to the long-term vision.

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Yes, and it's so needed, especially when we're talking about faith, vision and finances and how all of these play a role in a marriage.

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So first the foundation that you just mentioned faith, first, always.

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Absolutely.

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When you mentioned faith first, one of the things that comes to my mind people, I think, when they think of faith is like that can't have the monetary things that you also want from a millionaire mindset, and there's not a disconnect there, you just have to.

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I think one of the things that we always talk about is how do we impact a million lives as well, because if you can impact that many lives, the monetary things are going to figure themselves out Right.

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But it starts with that faith of how can I serve, how can we uplift, give back to our community, do more to create a broader impact and that's going to drive the biggest results.

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Yes, and you know, I think for us, when we also talk about decision-making when it comes to finances, our vision, even our faith, a lot of it is anchored in what we do every day, which is opening the YouVersion Bible app.

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And being able to be anchored and centered in that message every day is something that has done wonders for us and really has continued to help us build the foundation and build upon the foundation, I should say, because we already had a great foundation before this, but then, as we just daily are building on these little habits, we're just seeing that there's a major shift in mindset.

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To your point on the Bible app, I love it so much too because it's with, it's right in your phone, and if you think about how much negative news is out there, like if you're watching the news every day, you're like, oh my gosh, like it's nothing but bad things that are happening for the most part, or negative things compared to being able to get refueled, re-energized.

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Going back to the word of, I know that I can have faith in this.

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I know that if I pray and ask for it, I will receive it, and it's aligned with God's word.

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And so, without a doubt, that's just something that, for both of us, being on that journey has been incredible.

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Yes, and so, without a doubt, that's just something that, for both of us, being on that journey has been incredible.

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Yes, and something that continues to add to that is the fact that we pray together every day, whether it's just praying over a meal or just you'll come up to me and say, hey, do you want to pray with me today, right now, and I'm like, absolutely so.

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I think that just being able to pray with each other, even if it's for a minute, right, 60 seconds that can be such a boost in your mood, but then it can also be something that's again going to continue to ground you and anchor you together and just build on that foundation piece.

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And I just wanted to add to that because I think a lot of people sometimes in their journey especially when you're talking about marriage and being in a relationship everybody may not be at the same point when it comes to their faith journey.

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Right, there can be different stages, but I think to what you just mentioned, even starting small if it's you're getting on the plane, like we get them when we're getting on the plane, we pray before getting on the plane together, just because, again, you're traveling.

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You know there's so many things that are out of your control as you're, you know out and about and all of these things.

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Just having that moment together and not overthinking it, just saying Lord, thank you for the safe travels and like that can be it together, but that's, you know, getting together and doing it brings so much cohesion as well, absolutely.

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And there's also, you know, if you want to ask yourself, what is God calling us to do together?

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Because now we're taking out the individual.

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This is what I want, this is what you want, but when we're able to sit down and say no, no, no, what is God calling us to do as a couple?

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What is God saying?

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That is our direction, is our divine path and, again, like you said, everyone has a difference in their faith journey, but as long as you are working on it together and it's not just one person kind of going out on their own although that's maybe how it starts, doesn't need to be how it ends 100% and I think you know I love that, you that you just mentioned that too, because I know people are on that journey together and just this can be that reminder of it is always ongoing and we are always asking other couples like how did you make it to 24 years, 50 years?

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Like what, what are those keys?

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And we typically do hear that faith foundation is a big one, yes, and something that, uh, we heard, probably about five years ago, was that we try to build a cadence of praying with each other every night, and, even if you're mad at the other person, being able to know that at the end of the night we're going to pray together.

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And that goes back to even what we've mentioned before, where we've said, you know, try not to go to sleep angry, and that was another key piece that we picked up over the years as well.

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And so I think that when you again can have God anchored in your daily life, you see the ways that he's able to prosper and give you what you're looking for on your divine path, as you continue to grow together.

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And it reminds me of something.

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This is going to be a little bit old school, but people are going to remember the bracelets, the WWJD.

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What would Jesus do?

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Bracelets?

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And if you think about it like, what would Jesus do?

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It's a forgiveness was so key.

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When you talk about the amount of times the Bible talks about forgiving right, and so when you're in a relationship and it could be something as small as forgetting to take out the trash or, you know, taking that last sip of whatever's in the fridge and not replacing it, and it's like I can't believe eating the last bite of whatever.

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The nerve of you, I couldn't believe it.

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But like to go from that to you know what.

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I can still forgive you.

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We can move forward beyond this and I know there's obviously other things that people have happened in a relationship that are even more serious.

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But if you can still have that heart to forgive but come together and pray that just it'll bring you so much closer together than having conversations with other people talking about it on Facebook, right, talking about it at the barbershop or at the beauty salon.

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Like be able to come together and I think that's going to bring you know.

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I know it's kept us together and close, but also it's helped a lot of other people that we've talked to as well.

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And it's interesting because we're starting to watch Quarterback on Netflix.

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Yeah, shout out to Jerry Goff.

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So, as you can see, that's part of the reason why we're watching.

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But what I really enjoy is seeing Kirk Cousins, and you see the way that he's rooted in his faith and he was talking about when he was playing for the Vikings.

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He tore his Achilles as he was in the tent and the doctor told him you're done, buddy, you're done for the season.

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He said the first thing I did was pray.

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That was the first thing I did, and you're seeing that he had another opportunity to come with the Atlanta Falcons and so again, it's that reminder too, and he always talks about praying with his family, praying with his wife.

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You can and you can also feel it like when he even when he was doing his rehab he was doing his rehab he's singing, he is coming to a place where it's this is something that's happening, but it's not necessarily happening.

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To me, right Like it's God.

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There's always kind of a message behind everything that happens and there's a purpose behind it, although it may not seem like it.

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When you are going through something like that, there is a rainbow on the other side of the clouds, and so it's just one of those things where we always talk about being rooted in that faith.

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It's so key and I think Kirk Cousins was just a great example of that just because we were watching that last night, so I just wanted to quickly bring that up.

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But to your point too, on Kirk Cousins.

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I think that's another great example of the foundation being in faith, like you said, but also that when you let faith and God lead your path, that doesn't mean you can't have the monetary goals or achievements Right, I mean Kirk cousins not only as a multimillionaire, but he's created generational wealth for his family.

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I want to say his career earnings are like over $350 million and he's like the most everyday guy, just like mellow, chill, like not a lot of bling or flash too much.

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Post game, post game we're in his teammates chains.

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Those are, that's always classic but I just think, to that point.

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Right, he's just.

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I love that he's leading with his faith, because you don't always see that from people that are leaders.

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Sometimes it's kind of like what do they believe, what?

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Like where do they stand?

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You don't really see that from people that are leaders.

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Sometimes it's kind of like what do they believe?

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Like where do they stand?

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You don't really know.

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And he's very forward-facing.

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That, like God, is the reason I'm here, the reason I overcame the injury.

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I just think that's really powerful from an example in the prime spotlight and married with the family, because people kind of always show the negative or, you know, the athletes that have the crazy situations that are in the headlines or the news, not those that are really doing impactful things in the community.

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Yes, and that reminds me of Tim Tebow.

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Yes Come on now Tim Tebow really took the world by storm.

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That's what I'm saying.

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That's what I'm saying.

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Took the world by storm, but you're seeing, too, though, that it's not like he's not getting opportunities, because he's being forward, facing with his faith.

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I heard something the other day that I believe it was on the Jay Shetty podcast, and he said that you can go around and preach without saying a word, and that's simply by the way that you act, that's the way that you treat people, that you people can see God in you.

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They can see the light coming through you.

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I know that's something for us.

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That we get often is that there's something about you guys, and we always say it's not us, it's God.

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That's literally his light coming through us.

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We are just his shepherds, honestly.

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And it reminded me of that quote also that we you know that Colin Powell quote that was so powerful, talking about one of the measures of your character is how you treat someone that can do nothing for you and someone that can't defend themselves.

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How do you treat those folks?

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And I think that's so important, to be able to just continue to just do the right thing.

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Absolutely, and so that's going to be talking a little bit more about the foundation and why it should always be faith first.

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After that we have it's creating a shared vision.

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I'll tell you what.

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When you talk about the shared vision and I don't want to take us too off track here, but I hadn't like I wrote.

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I've always written down my goals since a young age and that's been great, but something that we've done together that I love is the vision board.

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It's like when we really create a marriage vision board when we create our every year.

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We've created our joint vision board, really cut things out.

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And some people are like what's a vision board?

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Like how you know being able to really take out what we envision?

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And, speaking from our experience, we'll literally cut out of magazines we go on by magazines.

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We'll cut out of the magazines words, magazines, words, visuals really it's mainly words different fonts, shapes, colors out of different magazines and we'll literally cut them out and tape them.

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You know, not tape, but glue them onto a piece of paper and then hang that vision board on the wall and be able to be inspired by that when we're at the table working, when we're in the office, daily, right, there's different things about faith, different things about impact, about impact, things about maybe growing a family, all of these different elements that we're visualizing and planning for.

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But I love that we have our individual ones, which we don't lose, that individual identity, because you are going to have your individual goals, but then having a shared vision together and vision board of this is what we want to accomplish as a unit, as a family together, and how we want to build.

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Yes, and I know for us too, we this is just us right?

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This is not saying that you can't put the Ferrari on there, right?

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You can't put the extravagant wealth forward facing items on there.

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But something for you and I that we do is we like to be very purposeful and intentional on what's being put on the marriage vision board, and a lot of it has to do with focusing around faith, focusing around love, focusing around finances, focusing around the big pillars in a marriage.

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Because what we've noticed is is that, the more that you're able to have that on a board or on a piece of paper, right where you can just look at that every day, you don't lose sight of your vision.

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So, even if you stray off the path a little bit, you can just look at that every day.

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You don't lose sight of your vision.

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So, even if you stray off the path a little bit, you can still look at your vision board and you can come back together on that same path because you already know where you want to go, you know where the destination is, but you know sometimes you can get off the beaten path and so, being able to get back and see that vision board, see what both of you have come together and created is extremely special, and it will just continue to, to really grow that, that marriage mindset.

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But then also right it's it's a millionaire mindset too, because you're you're taking the fact that not everything has to be monetary, because when we talk about what do we want in our principles, our values, our core, what's the core of our marriage, and sticking to that right, which even goes back to the foundation that we were talking about.

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So then, after that, it's set three to five shared goals.

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So we just talked about that right Faith, health, money, parenting.

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What does that look like for you?

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And maybe I think that's a great way too, though, is to kind of start with those shared goals and then create the vision board, cause that would make it a little bit easier, don't you think?

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Yeah, and I think to your point on the shared goal.

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Sometimes just having the conversation like I think for some people that is just such a start is like hey, when is the last time we've asked our partner Like, hey, what kind of goals?

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Like, what goals do you have?

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And that's an icebreaker at dinner or maybe it's an idea to do a date night so that you can have this conversation and talk about it.

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But it's so key to be able to just lay it out on the line of like where are we heading, what is the plan, no matter where we might be, because I know there's some people out there that might be struggling Sometimes.

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I mean, we've been there where it's a the conversation is a little bit more gloomy because we're in a valley, not at the peak, and we're like, ooh, we got to save how much to do what to get where?

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But then when you get on the other side of those things and you're in that abundance mindset and you're creating momentum, so often if you're focused on the process and you know where you're going right and write the goals down, you're more than twice as likely to achieve them.

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And if you're doing it together now you have the accountability, the check-ins, because it's a lot, you know, just like they talk about biblically.

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Right, if you send someone out, they wouldn't send someone out on loan because I was just gonna say, two can do it two can do it, because if you go out by yourself you just there's a chance that you don't come back.

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You can get lost or just the stray straight come straight off the path.

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But if you have that accountability, that support, doing it together and you're going, and I mean it just increases your chances of success absolutely and to you, what you just mentioned with the two can do it, and that's something that is a part of our foundation when it comes to couple e fit.

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But it is that motivation, the connection and the shared goals and shared values.

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And here's the other thing, too, is you may ask your partner hey, what are your goals?

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Or where do you see yourself in five or 10 years?

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They may not know, and that's okay.

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It's just every once in a while doing that check-in maybe it's once a month, right and just saying, hey, how are you doing on your goals?

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How can I support you?

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Is there anything that I can do to help you get closer to figuring out what you want to do?

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Or even mentioning hey, these are some things I've noticed that you just enjoy doing.

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So maybe let's start there and just see where this goes.

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But it's a.

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It's a great way again to continue to open up communication.

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But then let the other person in your relationship know that I hear you, I see you and I value you, and so I think that's really key because it goes into our next tip here, which is align your dreams with your values.

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But specifically, I love this.

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It said are we building a lifestyle or a legacy.

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Lifestyle or legacy is a big one.

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Come on, Because right now the gram social media will tell you it's all about lifestyle.

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It's all about lifestyle, it's all about lifestyle.

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Come on now.

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Show me that it's lit.

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Yes.

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Show me that you're living lavish.

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Yes.

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And unfortunately the reality is, when you talk about legacy, a lot of those monetary material things they're depreciating.

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Correct things they're depreciating Correct, you're not going to have them 10, 20, 50 years from now, and even again.

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For us, some of the things that we look back on, we're like, ooh, like I know some of the purchases I've made some sneakers in particular, that I was like you know what I probably should.

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I didn't need three to four pairs of that same shoe in different colors, um, or different things like that, but it I felt like it looked great.

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But then later on down the line, I'm like, ooh, I mean, man, if I would've invested that or if I would've done this with that.

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I mean, you know, and just some of the basics, right, and um, I just appreciate that we're having a conversation.

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I like that you mentioned too.

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Just on, your partner may not know what exactly it is right now.

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I mean I think about the pivot of when you know, pivoting out of football, getting injured, not making it to the NFL, and being like, ok, what's next?

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Like I just had a job but I didn't know, like I wasn't in my passion and purpose right out of the gate.

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I'm in the middle of pivoting.

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So there's a discovery phase that you're going through of like, ok, what do you enjoy?

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OK, you can take years.

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Ok, that's what we have to, especially when you're also talking about a marriage.

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A marriage is a lifetime.

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So you are going there's seasons right in a pivoting season, you know, you hope it doesn't take as long as a few years, but it can.

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And I think that's something that we have to be very mindful of when we're talking about the seasons of marriage, that there's going to be times where you're thinking to yourself like man, like am I who?

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I think I am?

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Am I on the right path?

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Should I be doing this?

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But again, that's going back to being rooted in your faith, because God will provide for you as long as you are working the works, you are staying true to him, you are doing what you can in order to be aligned with your divine purpose.

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He's going to open up the doors for you.

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He's going to close the door now and but when that door closes, sometimes you can look back and take a peek like wait, hold on.

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I think I want, I think I want to open that door again, not realizing right in front of you there's a door that's wide open.

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All you have to do is walk through it.

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And so I, when we also are talking about uh lifestyle or a legacy lifestyle to me is potentially for other people where legacy is for your family who you flexing for?

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who?

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Uh who are you flexing?

00:18:59.946 --> 00:19:10.184
Come on, come on who I and I understand the feeling of wanting to like pull up and you want to stun or you want to get your shine on right, the idea like stay down for the come up and like you've put in the work.

00:19:10.184 --> 00:19:14.428
You want to treat yourself, but at the same time thinking about the big picture and the long game.

00:19:14.949 --> 00:19:17.205
Because it's Long game being keyword.

00:19:17.246 --> 00:19:19.748
Come on, long game being the keyword.

00:19:19.748 --> 00:19:37.034
It's not always about that but yes, for your instant gratification, because sometimes, on the journey of getting to those goals, you might have a little monthly incentive for myself or whatever that is, but make sure it's something that you can afford.

00:19:37.034 --> 00:19:45.230
And I know, like when we, when we even talk about, from like a millionaire mindset, what we've learned from some of the financial experts and some of the most successful people.

00:19:45.230 --> 00:19:49.576
One of the things was, if you can't buy it, five times you can't afford it.

00:19:50.741 --> 00:19:52.767
I said wait, what if I can't buy it?

00:19:52.767 --> 00:19:54.269
Five times, I can't afford it.

00:19:54.711 --> 00:20:00.148
I was like well then, I mean who can buy a house?

00:20:00.167 --> 00:20:10.212
but even if we take that, but even if we take that perspective, sometimes it wouldn't be, you know, maybe not jumping out there on a million dollar house and making it a little bit more affordable and being able to not be stretched thin.

00:20:10.394 --> 00:20:14.351
Yes, well, that's a great segue into us talking about money.

00:20:14.351 --> 00:20:20.340
So when you're talking money, you want to talk with unity and not tension, although that sounds.

00:20:20.340 --> 00:20:21.821
That definitely sounds easier said than done.

00:20:21.821 --> 00:20:31.949
Okay, that definitely sounds easier said than done, okay, because when you talk about finances, it is top three reasons why marriages end up in divorce.

00:20:32.169 --> 00:20:45.317
Oh yeah, when the money is funny and the change is strange, people get to making moves and part of the problem, too, is like, hey, when you go through those lows or those situations, like, do you come together or does it drive you apart?

00:20:50.059 --> 00:20:59.192
And, like you said when you went with lifestyle, social media is constantly telling you that, basically, everybody's balling like, everybody's got it Right, and it creates this idea that, oh my gosh, I need to be out there, I need to be at this event, I need to be at the concert.

00:20:59.192 --> 00:21:05.730
Right, I need to be a Taylor Swift or Beyonce or whoever, and it's like you're spending thousands of dollars that you may not have.

00:21:05.730 --> 00:21:07.492
Yes, it's going to be a memorable experience.

00:21:07.492 --> 00:21:33.330
I'm not knocking it, but like, just putting into the big picture of like, if you can't afford it, because right now this is not your season, understand, understand that for you and your partner, just to be realistic with the expectations, create the vibe, maybe play it on YouTube at the house and y'all you know, make at home concert, like, be innovative, but don't put yourself in a situation where you're flexing for the lifestyle but hurting the, hurting the longterm legacy.

00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:34.766
Correct, and so there are.

00:21:34.766 --> 00:21:41.867
To your point, there is a difference between a money conversation and a money mindset shift.

00:21:42.429 --> 00:21:44.693
Can we, can you give me the difference Like an example?

00:21:45.859 --> 00:21:46.121
mindset shift.

00:21:46.121 --> 00:21:46.261
Can we?

00:21:46.261 --> 00:21:47.286
Can you give me the difference like an example?

00:21:47.286 --> 00:21:54.989
Yes, so when you're having so, when you're talking about a money conversation, in my opinion we are literally talking money, we're talking dollars and cents, we are talking budgets.

00:21:54.989 --> 00:22:00.730
That's what I believe is it's the excel spreadsheet comes out nobody.

00:22:00.910 --> 00:22:05.023
If nobody has an excel spreadsheet overviewing the finances, that can be another conversation.

00:22:05.023 --> 00:22:05.359
Yes, because those.

00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:06.102
Or an app spreadsheet overviewing the finances.

00:22:06.102 --> 00:22:06.569
That can be another conversation.

00:22:06.569 --> 00:22:11.772
Yes, or an app that's tracking your finances, something that's giving an overview, something that's tracking so that you can also budget.

00:22:11.853 --> 00:22:12.739
It's coming in what's going out.

00:22:12.739 --> 00:22:18.557
I didn't realize how many people do not have a budget frivolously spending their money.

00:22:18.557 --> 00:22:26.049
Well, I'm going to be honest, I'm not judging because a part of my mindset- is like I'm not judging, I'm just saying I didn't know that there were not that many people that didn't have a budget oh yeah, no, I'm with you.

00:22:26.150 --> 00:22:32.642
I was just saying that, like even for me, some of my mindset before younger days was like, don't worry about the budget, you just got to make more.

00:22:32.642 --> 00:22:36.497
Get your hustle, get your grind on, you know, and try to have that mindset.

00:22:36.497 --> 00:22:42.608
But in reality, if you don't know what's coming in and going out, it just makes it hard to plan for the big picture because, like, wait a minute.

00:22:42.648 --> 00:22:44.392
You don't know how much you actually need exactly.

00:22:44.392 --> 00:22:48.318
So you're talking about hustle more, hustle harder yeah what are you hustling for?

00:22:48.318 --> 00:22:48.759
What's?

00:22:48.759 --> 00:22:50.022
What's the end game?

00:22:50.042 --> 00:22:51.086
you're right, just to get more money.

00:22:51.086 --> 00:22:52.209
Okay, but how much do you need?

00:22:52.209 --> 00:22:55.324
Right, so it's, you have to start asking those questions.

00:22:55.324 --> 00:22:59.373
But when you, when you talk about the money mindset shift.

00:23:00.701 --> 00:23:25.192
In my opinion, this is where we've and we've also seen this on TikTok where, you know, uh, just for the sake of what I've seen on TikTok, a husband will be recording his wife and his wife is on the computer and she's ordering all this stuff from Amazon, or you know, these shores are these stores, and she's shopping and he's like, hey, I told you like we don't have the budget for this this month.

00:23:25.192 --> 00:23:34.412
Or you know, we were not able to continuously spend like this because I'm the only one that's potentially working, or whatever your financial situation is.

00:23:34.412 --> 00:23:46.290
There needs to be a money mindset shift where, okay, he's telling me that I don't, that we don't have the money, but what am I going to do in order for me not to spend the money?

00:23:46.290 --> 00:23:48.265
Well, let me think about why I'm spending the money first.

00:23:48.265 --> 00:23:53.867
Right, am I making the excuse that, oh, it's for the kids and they need new this and new that?

00:23:53.988 --> 00:23:55.592
Or, oh, I need new this and new that?

00:23:55.592 --> 00:23:57.523
Well, do you really need that?

00:23:57.523 --> 00:24:09.990
Is that a want or a need and then really looking back at how do I spend money and how do I look at money, because then you start having that conversation with yourself of well, hold on.

00:24:09.990 --> 00:24:12.984
This may be some some either trauma around money.

00:24:12.984 --> 00:24:21.770
There may be some childhood memories around money, that or what my parents have taught me that I am now taking into my marriage.

00:24:21.770 --> 00:24:39.053
That may not be positive, effective or, uh, even me, my, you know, my significant other may feel as if they're not being heard because they're keep telling me the same thing, but I keep spending money, and so I think it's just really interesting the difference between having a money conversation and a money mindset shift.

00:24:39.053 --> 00:24:41.020
But I'd love to hear your opinion on that.

00:24:41.663 --> 00:24:46.703
Yeah, I think, I think it is a big difference in having, I think, just first off, starting with either.

00:24:46.703 --> 00:24:56.809
Some people aren't having any conversations Correct, and so I think, starting off and having that dialogue and just opening the floor where it's like, hey, we're going to make this a consistent conversation once a month or a quarter.

00:24:56.809 --> 00:25:03.186
Something that really jumped out to me that you said that we actually were listening to a podcast.

00:25:03.186 --> 00:25:07.375
A billionaire, Robert F Smith Jr, was talking about growing up.

00:25:07.375 --> 00:25:12.605
They had everything that they needed, but not everything that they wanted, and I think that's a big difference.

00:25:12.605 --> 00:25:14.134
Is this a want or is this a need?

00:25:14.154 --> 00:25:33.730
Yes, so even for family, like, put that into perspective hey, you have clothes, you have everything that you need, but you may not have the newest iPhone or every video game that releases every pair of Air Jordans but, like, that's not every, that's not what you need, it's what you want, and so being able to set up for the long game, I think is just so big.

00:25:33.730 --> 00:25:48.536
But if you can have that general, general conversation of, hey, we're saving for this, this is what it's going to look like, this is what we're going to like, budget and set aside, I think it makes it so much more realistic and attainable if we level, set the expectations and have the conversation.

00:25:48.536 --> 00:25:58.451
So now, if Amazon is still happening or sneakers are still being delivered, it's like, hey, we talked about this, like we need to send this back this is.

00:25:58.491 --> 00:26:01.027
you know, just to keep it real, there's some things that got to be returned back.

00:26:01.047 --> 00:26:07.128
But to your point right, are we purchasing for a lifestyle or are these purchases for the legacy?

00:26:07.128 --> 00:26:21.285
And I think that that can be another way to also look at it, but it's it's a great reminder that we need to continuously be looking at our own personal triggers and, specifically because we're talking money, what are your financial triggers?

00:26:21.285 --> 00:26:32.420
What is something I know we were just on a podcast and a gentleman said that he looks at sneakers as art and we said listen, understand, totally, get it what was the sneaker budget?

00:26:32.500 --> 00:26:33.222
I listen.

00:26:33.222 --> 00:26:37.476
He said you know, what do you think when somebody comes in with three pairs of sneakers through the door?

00:26:37.476 --> 00:26:44.654
And I just said, listen, that's sounding more like me and team rather than we, and so we need.

00:26:44.654 --> 00:26:51.296
And also, and I said, did we have that conversation beforehand of, hey, we're going to purchase, you know, I'm thinking of purchasing these sneakers.

00:26:51.296 --> 00:26:52.848
This is how much they're going to cost.

00:26:52.848 --> 00:26:55.957
And then let's compare this cost to our financial goals.

00:26:55.957 --> 00:26:58.790
Is this getting us closer or further away?

00:26:59.192 --> 00:27:06.701
And I just want to say something too for the fellas right here Do not feel like you're a chump for talking to your wife about the finances and getting.

00:27:06.701 --> 00:27:09.269
It's not approval, it's being on the same page.

00:27:09.770 --> 00:27:10.673
It's alignment.

00:27:10.874 --> 00:27:16.075
It's alignment, because so often I mean the barbershop, the barbershop fellow.

00:27:16.075 --> 00:27:19.866
It's always like this negative Like oh, you got to get allowance, you got to check in.

00:27:19.866 --> 00:27:22.769
It's always like this negative like, oh, you got to get allowance, you got to check in with your wife to spend some money.

00:27:22.769 --> 00:27:31.159
But it's like, think about it, like you know, if you play sports you are the general manager of the team or the owner of the team, but you're the co-owner.

00:27:31.159 --> 00:27:33.280
Like you guys are both owners or co-owners.

00:27:36.388 --> 00:27:38.115
These decisions come to the table.

00:27:38.115 --> 00:27:41.686
Well, there's a reason, there's a cap Correct, so there's a cap.

00:27:41.707 --> 00:27:42.250
Correct, so there's a cap.

00:27:42.250 --> 00:27:42.791
There's a cap for a reason.

00:27:42.791 --> 00:27:44.077
This is how much we have to spend, and that's it.

00:27:44.097 --> 00:27:44.640
We cannot go a dollar over.

00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:49.159
And there's ownership meetings like, hey, we need to come to the table and decide are we making this move?

00:27:49.159 --> 00:27:52.148
Are we, you know, the equivalent of maybe extending a franchise players?

00:27:52.148 --> 00:27:53.192
Are we buying this house?

00:27:53.192 --> 00:27:54.414
How are we?

00:27:54.414 --> 00:27:57.469
Is this a super max deal or are we going a little bit more affordable?

00:27:57.469 --> 00:28:07.192
And I just think for the fellas having that like mindset shift of like, no, we're really going to be a team and we're building a legacy, we're building a dynasty of sorts.

00:28:07.192 --> 00:28:08.536
How do we do that?

00:28:08.536 --> 00:28:13.616
What type of collaboration are in those types of winning environments?

00:28:14.117 --> 00:28:18.211
Yes, and to add to your point, which I love, the example that you just gave.

00:28:18.211 --> 00:28:24.923
Those're co-owners of a team, like you just mentioned, but typically you have to talk to a GM, that's true.

00:28:24.923 --> 00:28:30.817
So the GM for a married couple could be a financial planner, that's true.

00:28:30.817 --> 00:28:32.310
It could be a CPA.

00:28:32.744 --> 00:28:36.816
It can be somebody that is just more financially stable than you.

00:28:36.816 --> 00:29:10.307
That is almost a part of like can build an advisory board right where you do, you're a little bit more open with the people that you know like and trust, trust being key because it's hard talking about finances in general and, uh, having that system checks and balances because you leave it up to two people sometimes like, listen, okay, the way that these cruise deals are hitting, let's get a cruise vacay is vacationing, listen vacation and I'm here for it.

00:29:10.709 --> 00:29:24.207
So I think again, just having kind of an advisory board that will be able to help you get further and something that my mom even mentioned to us was potentially doing, you know, monthly or a quarterly family check-in.

00:29:24.207 --> 00:29:28.296
So this is taking a little bit step, a step further than just marriage.

00:29:28.296 --> 00:29:44.339
But also, what is the legacy that you're building together as an entire family, with your you know, your your mom, dad, guardian, your grandparents if they're still alive, right, what is it that you're building and seeing ways that you can also collaborate?

00:29:44.339 --> 00:30:02.712
How can we maybe collaborate on finances where we want to invest into a property and this is going to be a revenue generating property, that's going to be something that all of us are going to have access to, but then we're also going to be able to have this piece of property, potentially the land that it's on, that we pass down.

00:30:03.012 --> 00:30:04.276
Now we're talking legacy.

00:30:04.276 --> 00:30:18.188
Yes, there's a little bit of lifestyle in there because you're you have a, maybe a vacation home, but now you're talking legacy piece, and so I think, if you can also collaborate on finances, that's also another way to see what other people are doing.

00:30:18.188 --> 00:30:18.409
That.

00:30:18.409 --> 00:30:20.314
You may say that's a great idea.

00:30:20.314 --> 00:30:22.627
I think we should replicate that in our household.

00:30:22.627 --> 00:30:26.336
Or we're not quite there yet on the finances.

00:30:26.336 --> 00:30:34.770
You know you're in your 50s and 60s and so you're in your prime of making money, and so you may not be there yet, but I think it's a great idea.

00:30:35.515 --> 00:30:36.398
I love that you said that.

00:30:36.398 --> 00:30:39.228
I think a lot of people don't realize what your business prime is.

00:30:39.228 --> 00:30:42.894
Most people would think your business prime is, oh, 20s, 30s.

00:30:42.894 --> 00:30:46.559
Your business prime is actually 52 to 55.

00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:56.296
When you're in your actual business prime, which most CEOs, that's where you're making your maximum income and doing the most in your career, you've built your relationships.

00:30:56.316 --> 00:30:58.945
You've laid this foundation, all of the things.

00:30:58.945 --> 00:31:41.298
So, when we think about laying that foundation early on and for a married couple being able to have the discussions being able to one start with the spouses and then, to your point, extending to the family, because it's so sad when someone passes away, or you're trying to plan for the future and you're like I didn't know that so-and-so owned this property over here, or that we need to pay taxes on this over here, and because a lot of times I mean you're seeing people losing land or losing assets because of the fact that nobody knew that we needed to pay taxes on it, or even situations where having a conversation of if so-and-so passes away, what are we going to do?

00:31:41.298 --> 00:31:43.028
Is this turning into a rental property?

00:31:43.028 --> 00:31:52.705
Are we selling it and having the dialogue of amongst maybe it's even siblings or whomever because you don't want tragedy to happen or something unfortunate to happen.

00:31:52.705 --> 00:31:54.309
You've never discussed it.

00:31:54.309 --> 00:31:55.933
You don't know what their wishes were.

00:31:56.454 --> 00:32:11.115
You don't know what the plan or the strategy is, and then sometimes, based on people's circumstances, you make short sighted decisions that may not be a legacy decision or the most profitable long run, because someone maybe needed money today, right.

00:32:11.115 --> 00:32:32.288
And so I think that's such a millionaire mindset of laying the foundation having smart people around you, the financial advisors, your network, surrounding yourself with other millionaire mindset people and it doesn't have to be that they're already a millionaire, but do they have the mindset and the habits of someone that's progressing, getting better, striving for excellence?

00:32:32.288 --> 00:32:41.951
Because Nick Saban had the quote mediocre people do not want to be around high achievers and high achievers don't necessarily want to be around mediocre people.

00:32:41.951 --> 00:32:47.652
Yes, you can elevate them, but a lot of times they're trying to figure out like why are you doing this at that level?

00:32:47.652 --> 00:32:49.477
Why are you working so hard?

00:32:49.477 --> 00:32:50.950
Like, why are you doing all of that?

00:32:50.950 --> 00:32:55.905
But those are the things, legacy wise, that lay the foundation for long-term success.

00:32:56.165 --> 00:33:02.150
Yes, absolutely, and so that's a great way to segue into three tools for financial intimacy.

00:33:02.150 --> 00:33:12.136
And so three ways are shared goals, which we've talked a little bit about, monthly check ins, which we do our monthly check ins, and you know.

00:33:12.517 --> 00:33:12.978
I'll tell you what.

00:33:12.978 --> 00:33:23.904
When you're, when you're when your numbers is in the green, these are a lot better conversations and they're a lot easier to have those conversations when you are definitely not in the red.

00:33:24.165 --> 00:33:27.836
So we monthly check ins are fantastic.

00:33:27.836 --> 00:33:44.387
And then something else that I wrote down is grace over guilt, and I think that's a great opportunity for you to say to your spouse hey, this, these are the steps that we need to take in order for us to be financially free.

00:33:44.387 --> 00:33:56.765
But if you are the spouse that is in the habits that maybe need to change, you're asking, you're asking your partner for that grace and not guilting you, because you're.

00:33:56.765 --> 00:34:00.192
You have to learn, you have to adjust, you have to you, you have to adjust.

00:34:00.192 --> 00:34:01.474
You're learning new habits.

00:34:01.474 --> 00:34:20.918
You're trying to re-parent yourself in some ways when it comes to finances, because I wonder how many of our financial decisions are rooted in what we've seen our parents do, and if your parents were not good with money, then maybe that's a reason that you also need a little bit of help in that area.

00:34:27.324 --> 00:34:29.735
But giving grace to your partner for at least a little bit of time as they make the transitions.

00:34:29.735 --> 00:34:31.945
And again, just like we talked about before, this may be something over five years.

00:34:31.945 --> 00:34:37.391
This may not be like okay, next month you're going to stop spending, you're going to stop doing this.

00:34:37.391 --> 00:34:40.675
No, that's not realistic, let's be realistic.

00:34:40.675 --> 00:34:47.869
And when we're talking about unlearning, especially when it comes to finances, that takes a long time, and so just giving yourself that grace.

00:34:47.869 --> 00:34:54.619
But something else too you can have joint budgets, right which you can have your, your joint account.

00:34:54.619 --> 00:35:01.434
I also didn't realize how many married couples have separate accounts and then their one joint account, which I've heard, you know, mixed reviews on that.

00:35:01.856 --> 00:35:11.963
Yeah, and I would say just from our experience too, I do like the transparency that we have around accounting and the accountability, cause we both get a notification when money gets to coming out of the account.

00:35:11.963 --> 00:35:12.643
We're like hey, did you?

00:35:13.005 --> 00:35:13.425
Yes.

00:35:13.445 --> 00:35:24.041
Like hey did something weird happen, whatever, but it's good, because how many times do you know you hear people like these horror stories of so-and-so stole X amount of dollars out of my account or things got weird and this happened.

00:35:24.041 --> 00:35:31.304
But it's like, man, if you would have had your partner checking, we would have nipped this in the bud in the beginning, right, not years down the line.

00:35:31.304 --> 00:35:44.291
And then I also really like the fact that you mentioned when you're having these check-ins not trying to make it cold turkey, going from $500 a month in Amazon or $100 a month in Amazon to zero.

00:35:44.291 --> 00:35:45.938
But how do we make a shift?

00:35:45.998 --> 00:35:49.188
Like hey, babe, okay, I see that we're spending on average $100 a month in Amazon.

00:35:49.188 --> 00:35:49.550
That's a lot.

00:35:49.550 --> 00:35:51.353
That's $1,200 a year.

00:35:51.353 --> 00:35:55.688
Okay, right now we're also eating out a couple hundred dollars a month.

00:35:55.688 --> 00:36:02.295
If we pivot the eating out to eating at home and cook more from home, we can still do the Amazon shopping.

00:36:02.295 --> 00:36:06.380
But we just need to be able to create some cushion so that we're saving for the long term.

00:36:06.380 --> 00:36:07.726
Like that's an example of.

00:36:07.726 --> 00:36:22.737
I feel like meeting in the middle and having a tangible way to be, like you're not cutting someone off from being able to still enjoy or maybe even splurge or buy things for the family, whatever, but you're also creating space to save more and be able to build that legacy of her lifestyle.

00:36:23.045 --> 00:36:26.565
Yes, and I believe that you're adding the guardrails in, right.

00:36:26.565 --> 00:36:37.554
If I know that my partner is not the greatest with finances, then maybe it's my time to say okay, what I was saying to you before is not resonating.

00:36:37.554 --> 00:36:54.298
How can I say this in a different way that you're going to be able to connect with and start making some actionable changes, and the way that a lot of it comes down to communication right and, as we know, that's a foundation in marriage is being able to communicate, and we always say effectively communicate.

00:36:54.298 --> 00:37:01.818
So it can be outrageous being transparent with your partner and saying hey, I've said this before, this is how I worded it.

00:37:01.818 --> 00:37:03.550
How did you feel when I said that?

00:37:03.550 --> 00:37:05.295
And they may say I actually felt triggered.

00:37:05.846 --> 00:37:06.407
I was ready to.

00:37:06.668 --> 00:37:08.652
I was ready to jump on, you know, just get it.

00:37:08.652 --> 00:37:24.748
I was feeling triggered and then asking your partner what can I say to you in order for you not to feel triggered but for me to be able to get my message across that we do need to focus on our finances more and work towards our shared goals.

00:37:24.748 --> 00:37:29.626
And I think, if you keep bringing it back to shared goals, what are we doing?

00:37:29.626 --> 00:37:32.170
What are our goals, what's our vision?

00:37:32.170 --> 00:37:35.878
It takes the that that guilt out where it's almost.

00:37:35.878 --> 00:37:37.128
I'm finger pointing at you.

00:37:37.128 --> 00:37:37.849
It's all you.

00:37:37.849 --> 00:37:42.452
You're the one spending the money, and then you kind of just feel like, well, I'm just going to keep spending.

00:37:42.452 --> 00:37:48.097
You know you're already treating me like a child anyway, so I'm just going to keep spending, or you're acting like my parent.

00:37:48.157 --> 00:37:50.550
Now Right, yeah, nobody wants to be parented either.

00:37:50.550 --> 00:37:52.472
Right, like I feel like you're in a partnership.

00:37:52.472 --> 00:38:15.565
No-transcript.

00:38:15.565 --> 00:38:19.347
I was like wait what you know, because it makes somebody feel like wait who?

00:38:19.347 --> 00:38:26.518
The child Allowance, child Like that's not teamwork and co-ownership in that sense, I think, for a lot of couples.

00:38:26.518 --> 00:38:32.628
So I mean these are just really great foundational pieces.

00:38:32.628 --> 00:38:39.909
When it comes to the millionaire mindset, that are actual ways where we've talked to, I mean, I would say probably hundreds of couples that we've got a chance to talk to.

00:38:39.909 --> 00:38:44.378
But also there's stats around the fact of becoming millionaires.

00:38:44.378 --> 00:38:47.074
There's a significant increase for being married.

00:38:47.074 --> 00:38:51.275
That increases your chances and your growth of your overall wealth.

00:38:51.594 --> 00:38:57.056
Of course, of course, and that goes back to also having a partner and being able to do it together.

00:38:57.056 --> 00:38:59.713
But somebody can also drain you of that wealth as well.

00:38:59.713 --> 00:39:04.737
So, you do have to be very mindful of just you know in general who you choose as your partner.

00:39:04.737 --> 00:39:05.826
That's.

00:39:06.025 --> 00:39:11.146
That's a whole nother podcast that we'll have to get into, but just quickly bringing it back.

00:39:11.887 --> 00:39:15.275
Utilizing apps is something, too, for us that I've really enjoyed.

00:39:15.275 --> 00:39:22.286
I even saw a stat in one of the apps that I was using that said on average, people spend a hundred dollars on subscriptions.

00:39:22.286 --> 00:39:35.032
So I think, just starting there, on your subscriptions, how much are we spending on all of these streaming platforms and just everything that you have, and where are the areas that we can cut back?

00:39:35.032 --> 00:39:45.315
Which goes back to having a budget and knowing where your money is going, because then you're going to look sometimes and say I literally didn't know that there we have three door dash subscriptions.

00:39:45.315 --> 00:39:48.650
That's crazy, that's crazy, right.

00:39:48.650 --> 00:39:58.750
And so being able to know where your money is going is also empowering not necessarily in the beginning, cause it's like you're kind of in that shock of whoa, this is a lot of money that's going out.

00:39:58.750 --> 00:40:11.561
And I saw a stat, too, that said on average, people are spending 95% of their entire salary every year, which goes into the stat.

00:40:11.561 --> 00:40:15.650
About 70% of people are living paycheck to paycheck.

00:40:16.472 --> 00:40:19.407
It's real and these are even people that are millionaires.

00:40:19.407 --> 00:40:27.500
It's just just because you have the money or the assets or those things doesn't mean that you don't have the bills that accompany them.

00:40:27.500 --> 00:40:42.101
Right, and you may be overspent or overextended, and that's such a just a great call out to on exactly what you mentioned of creating long lasting plans and goals and doing it together, because it makes a huge difference.

00:40:42.385 --> 00:40:49.248
Yes, and just quickly, just to give some ways that you can start building wealth too, and you start talking about the legacy piece.

00:40:49.248 --> 00:40:51.945
There are, just like, some really easy ways that you can do that.

00:40:51.945 --> 00:40:56.976
Number one if you are a W2 employee, try to max out your 401k every month.

00:40:56.976 --> 00:40:58.045
Try to max that out.

00:40:58.045 --> 00:41:04.579
Number two is going to be having a savings account, but specifically a high-yield savings account.

00:41:04.579 --> 00:41:09.556
That is extremely important because you're compounding your dividends, essentially.

00:41:09.556 --> 00:41:13.576
And then there's also the ability again, we talk about having a budget.

00:41:13.576 --> 00:41:18.456
A budget is a key way to know where your money is going, how much is coming in and how much is going out.

00:41:19.246 --> 00:41:29.853
And, to your point, that may also have to be a conversation that you have to have with your kids, where you know, I know, even for myself, when Christmas came, my parents were very forward with us.

00:41:29.853 --> 00:41:30.795
Guess what?

00:41:30.795 --> 00:41:35.329
It's two presents and nothing is going to cost over a hundred dollars.

00:41:35.329 --> 00:41:36.371
That's it.

00:41:36.371 --> 00:41:40.469
That's all we have for Christmas, that's all we can do, and it really does.

00:41:40.469 --> 00:41:42.353
It helps your children, in my opinion.

00:41:42.393 --> 00:41:48.418
Just being on that that other side of my parents telling me that number one, I would say, okay, that's transparent.

00:41:48.418 --> 00:41:53.132
I mean you're, it's the honesty and transparency piece, but then it's also your show.

00:41:53.132 --> 00:42:04.327
You're telling me that just because I want something doesn't mean that I'm going to get it And't mean that it's a need that will help me in the long term.

00:42:04.327 --> 00:42:31.697
It really does temper your expectations as you get into the real world, and especially when you hit college and you're living on your own, and if you don't have a quote unquote allowance from your parents that are paying for your education or, you know, paying for your um, your dorm room or everything, if you're doing it on your own, you start realizing, ooh, okay, a dollar does not extend as far as I thought, especially now as we're talking about inflation, but it just tempers your expectations.

00:42:31.844 --> 00:42:32.367
You're so right.

00:42:32.367 --> 00:42:40.199
I remember being a kid and I used to always be upset of like how come we don't have any of the premium channels Like why don't we have the premium channel channels?

00:42:40.199 --> 00:42:48.608
Why didn't say I need to call somebody to watch hbo on here, and I was like, oh well first off, hbo is very grown, but you get what I'm saying any of those channels.

00:42:48.608 --> 00:42:49.893
I'm like how come we don't have access?

00:42:49.893 --> 00:42:55.552
Oh, we're not oh no but now knowing I said as an adult we need.

00:42:56.034 --> 00:43:00.706
Matter of fact, we went from premium channels to basic cable, to no cable.

00:43:00.706 --> 00:43:01.746
Cable is done.

00:43:01.766 --> 00:43:03.547
We're on YouTube.

00:43:03.547 --> 00:43:13.856
But to that exact point, right, it really was a shift in mindset, and I would say the millionaire mindset comes with sacrifices and so something that was a big sacrifice for me.

00:43:13.856 --> 00:43:16.739
I love football, Sunday football you can watch football all day.

00:43:16.739 --> 00:43:18.701
I was doing fantasy football.

00:43:18.701 --> 00:43:23.567
I'm not missing the games, but you also bought the package, but here's what I was going to say.

00:43:23.567 --> 00:43:37.067
Yes, bought the package, but as far as investment of time and money, the fantasy league had a buy-in correct the time was like 10, 15, 20 hours a week researching all this fantasy football stuff

00:43:37.307 --> 00:43:40.925
I was like man, I'm the gm of this fantasy football team, this is not making me any, any extra dollars.

00:43:40.925 --> 00:43:48.847
Then you're watching all the games because you got, like, all the players that you want to see how they perform and I'm like I really only care about the detroit lions.

00:43:48.847 --> 00:43:52.800
I say all of this to say it was a shift in mindset.

00:43:52.800 --> 00:44:02.054
And now wait, if I don't need all of this and I'm not watching all of the games like what really really matters, okay, let's watch that one game at least during the week.

00:44:02.514 --> 00:44:12.664
Okay, two games, two games during the week, but everything else, like I can watch the recap of things on YouTube in 10 or 15 minutes and I got that time back to be more productive.

00:44:12.664 --> 00:44:37.414
But I feel like those are the shifts where, again, people that are very um efficient and making the most use of our time and are operating at a high level, like they're really focused on how do I create the biggest impact and there's probably not the biggest impact in 12 hours of watching games or you know some of those things that could be offset in more productivity.

00:44:37.985 --> 00:44:42.434
Kevin O'Leary said something very simple but yet profound.

00:44:42.434 --> 00:44:55.628
He said wealthy people have discipline, and please listen to our last episode, where we talked about discipline and micro habits that you have to build upon.

00:44:55.628 --> 00:44:59.753
It's again very simple, but yet profound.

00:44:59.753 --> 00:45:10.626
Are you disciplined enough that, when everybody is purchasing these Prada sunglasses, these designer, you're proud of me because you're proud of me Proud?

00:45:10.626 --> 00:45:19.114
Of me, because you're proud of me when everyone's purchasing the designer bags or you see a sale pop up because you're constantly being marketed to.

00:45:19.324 --> 00:45:20.831
Everybody's pulling up in the bins.

00:45:26.204 --> 00:45:27.869
Right, you're constantly being marketed to's pulling up in the bins.

00:45:27.869 --> 00:45:29.132
Right, you're constantly being marketed to.

00:45:29.132 --> 00:45:30.175
Do you have the discipline to say no?

00:45:30.195 --> 00:45:44.760
do you have the discipline to say that is not going to further my legacy, that's going to just fuel my lifestyle and it doesn't have to be a long-term no, it could be a not now correct stay down for the come up, because there's things that we have on our long-term vision board that are not a right now today.

00:45:45.242 --> 00:45:47.628
But you make the sacrifices and have the discipline now.

00:45:47.628 --> 00:45:54.230
For I mean, let's just be honest, how many people set a goal for a wedding or a vacation?

00:45:54.230 --> 00:45:59.418
It was like yo, I want to be body goals, sons out, guns out during vacay.

00:45:59.418 --> 00:46:12.657
I'm going to really stay focused and make the sacrifices on what I eat and how often I go to the gym, and just me being focused leading up, and you just absolutely feel your best whenever that time comes and it's like yo, it was worth it.

00:46:12.657 --> 00:46:16.112
It's the same way with the long game for the finances.

00:46:16.112 --> 00:46:29.297
It's just sometimes it's easier to think about it when it's visual and like maybe a weight goal or something like that, but the finances it really compounds and again, it's setting yourself up for the long term legacy and foundation for your family.

00:46:30.025 --> 00:46:58.572
Yes, and to your point, we're talking about living in alignment and when you're living in alignment with your spouse, it allows you to have a mindset that's around faith, vision, finances and your, but it shows up in your daily habits and that's what we talked about even in the last episode around discipline was micro habits and how important those are to build upon every day, because you're going to build that muscle of okay.

00:46:58.572 --> 00:47:03.519
I know that when I see something pop up and I'm marketed to, I like to jump on it.

00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:05.449
I like I'm never going to see this again.

00:47:05.449 --> 00:47:07.012
This is never going to come out.

00:47:07.012 --> 00:47:27.574
It's very similar to me with Jays when Jordans come out every year, the way that people flock to get the Jordans and are spending their last on purchasing these pair of shoes when now don't get me wrong, I understand the limited edition, but it's pretty much the same sneakers that are coming out.

00:47:27.905 --> 00:47:29.733
Everything's limited edition until it comes back out again.

00:47:29.824 --> 00:47:30.266
That's it.

00:47:30.507 --> 00:47:32.773
Come on, come on In another color.

00:47:32.914 --> 00:47:33.275
Come on.

00:47:33.945 --> 00:47:44.525
But I feel that because I used to be one of those people that was outside in line, yes, or I knew the guy that knew the guy that had to reserve the sneakers, and it was like Christmas Some people love the thrill, the thrill Find the thrills somewhere else.

00:47:44.525 --> 00:47:51.224
There's still nothing like unwrapping a pair of Jordans on Christmas, Like and really it's any sneaker, but a pair of Air Jordans on Christmas, oh my gosh, Like for me.

00:47:51.224 --> 00:47:52.927
That gives me nostalgia from childhood.

00:47:53.005 --> 00:47:59.900
But you're telling me one time a year oh and just so you know, not every this is not every launch that's happening.

00:47:59.940 --> 00:48:00.402
There's some.

00:48:00.402 --> 00:48:03.878
There's some months where there's a couple that are coming but to your point.

00:48:03.978 --> 00:48:13.367
That was one of the things you mentioned your parents with the hundred dollar cap, my parents I got one pair of air jordans, typically per year on christmas or my birthday, and those became my basketball shoes.

00:48:13.367 --> 00:48:14.893
Don't even wear them outside.

00:48:14.893 --> 00:48:16.920
Your old basketball shoes are now your new.

00:48:16.920 --> 00:48:19.550
Uh like, kick around shoes, like you know.

00:48:19.550 --> 00:48:24.778
So just putting those you have, what you need, not everything you want, because I wanted the ones that came out every month.

00:48:24.778 --> 00:48:26.514
I'd have 12 pairs if it was up to me.

00:48:26.675 --> 00:48:27.358
I know you would.

00:48:27.358 --> 00:48:28.059
I know you would.

00:48:28.059 --> 00:48:38.753
So this is going to also talk about how you need to celebrate the small wins right and stay accountable to your shared growth.

00:48:38.753 --> 00:48:41.835
So this goes into.

00:48:41.835 --> 00:48:49.862
I'm going to actually quickly speak about the next point I have, which is that speak life into your partner.

00:48:49.862 --> 00:48:51.643
Use you know.

00:48:51.643 --> 00:49:01.282
Start your sentences with I'm proud of you, for I'm proud of you for not purchasing that coffee.

00:49:01.282 --> 00:49:03.592
I'm proud of you for not making you know the right.

00:49:03.592 --> 00:49:04.836
Now I think it's Amazon.

00:49:04.836 --> 00:49:06.282
What is the Amazon prime day?

00:49:06.282 --> 00:49:10.474
I'm proud of you for not taking full advantage of Amazon prime day.

00:49:10.514 --> 00:49:33.518
Somebody's listening to this with their cart full right now that listen and you know, just to be fully transparent, we do have some things in our cart, but they are things that we actually need, that are going to make our lives better and organized, and so I hear that, though, but then also saying I see you, I see you making a change, I see you growing, I see you trying.

00:49:33.518 --> 00:49:45.405
That is one thing right, and we always talk about effort in marriage, but are you putting in effort to also try to change your, your financial mindset or your conversation around money?

00:49:45.405 --> 00:49:55.135
And if the person is trying, that goes back to the grace over guilt give them the positive affirmation that they need or kind of need.

00:49:55.135 --> 00:49:57.320
I think everyone kind of needs that little bit of boost of like.

00:49:57.340 --> 00:50:26.021
Yes, I thank you for seeing me, because I am trying and it's very difficult, but I'm doing it 100%, and I also, you know, for those that don't know, that's one of the five love languages is positive affirmations and so being able to provide that and starting with that, and almost it's also like the sandwich method right Of giving something positive before maybe also delivering like hey, we got to be mindful of this and following up with, like I'm proud of the progress that you see that we've been able to do and what we've been able to achieve together.

00:50:26.449 --> 00:50:33.519
I'm proud of us because it's so huge to recognize when you're making strides together and those little adjustments.

00:50:33.519 --> 00:50:36.619
But when you're on that path together it's reassuring.

00:50:36.619 --> 00:50:45.601
And even your kids or other people in your family, your friends you start to be the model or the example, because people are like wait a minute, I saw you're playing the long game.

00:50:45.601 --> 00:50:49.467
How did you guys afford to go on a vacation or do that a year from now?

00:50:49.467 --> 00:51:02.623
It's like no, we saved $10 a month because we cut back on our subscriptions or we did X, y and Z and it's been able to really allow us to plan for the future and we're doing these other things that give us longevity and long-term wealth.

00:51:03.429 --> 00:51:26.961
Well, interesting enough, something I wrote down here is emotional wealth, which something we always talk about is peace, protecting your peace, but having peace, purpose and trust those three in a marriage, let alone in your financial situation, are key.

00:51:27.429 --> 00:51:31.822
There's nothing worse than stressing about your financial situation.

00:51:31.822 --> 00:51:34.157
We have been there.

00:51:34.157 --> 00:51:41.242
It is not a place you want to be or stay or come back to.

00:51:41.242 --> 00:51:55.561
You know like we could almost shed a tear because honey we've had, we've had pre foreclosure notices on our home, we have had some significant and please visit some of our older episodes where we genuinely talk about our struggles.

00:51:55.561 --> 00:52:05.681
And so we are coming to you and are talking to you as people who have made the changes, who have had the money conversations, who have had the money mindset shifts.

00:52:05.681 --> 00:52:18.309
Because we have been there, we know what it's like to put your card into the gas pump it says declined, to not be able to have to literally open up a credit card because we can't afford tires.

00:52:18.309 --> 00:52:26.802
I mean, we've been there and it's there's nothing like my heart even is is racing a little bit because it's and I don't have peace.

00:52:27.490 --> 00:52:29.215
I visually saw each one of those moments.

00:52:29.235 --> 00:52:34.014
I know the gas pump, the and it humbles you Selling every.

00:52:34.014 --> 00:52:34.998
It felt like everything.

00:52:36.391 --> 00:52:38.838
But to that point in the scripture, you know John 3.30,.

00:52:38.838 --> 00:52:40.682
He must increase but we must decrease.

00:52:40.682 --> 00:53:03.284
So how do we humble ourselves from even realizing that some of those things, whether it's material things or even just the pride of life of like, how am I here, like I shouldn't have to deal with these things, I shouldn't have to drive Uber, or I shouldn't have to, you know, do this sacrifice right now, in addition to work, or, you know, on the side, because I'm in a tough spot.

00:53:03.284 --> 00:53:11.945
But know that you're building right now for that legacy, that you're sacrificing a lifestyle today for something bigger, for your family.

00:53:12.050 --> 00:53:26.480
Right, because your emotional wealth matters more than your net worth Absolutely, and having that mindset that I am going to be where I want to be, but it's going to take time.

00:53:26.480 --> 00:53:42.250
We're going to do this together and, again coming back to the team component, you are in this together and so when you can start looking at your habits and start looking to see where you are spending your money, it's also a gut check of like whoa Did I need the bang bang, chicken and shrimp?

00:53:42.369 --> 00:53:45.260
Did I or do we need to eat out as much as we do?

00:53:45.590 --> 00:53:45.851
Something.

00:53:45.851 --> 00:53:51.137
No, I didn't mean to cut you off, but I was just thinking about how many times you're hosting events and doing things for other people.

00:53:51.170 --> 00:53:52.496
Other people, you know what?

00:53:52.849 --> 00:53:54.476
You got 20, 30 people at your house.

00:53:54.476 --> 00:53:56.112
You catered the meal, all of this.

00:53:56.132 --> 00:54:10.376
you're like wait, I just made sure everybody else had a good time and I'm over here stressing cleaning up, packing up, other people other people got, too turned up at the function and you're like wait a minute, how did the fire truck get here?

00:54:10.376 --> 00:54:12.762
What, what, what happened?

00:54:12.762 --> 00:54:13.672
All of these things?

00:54:13.672 --> 00:54:15.135
And it's like wait, we could have had a great.00:54:15.135 --> 00:54:24.021


And I just think that's been such a game changer for us too, of like really making it more about us and like, wait, what do you want for your birthday or for our anniversary?00:54:24.021 --> 00:54:35.518


And it's like quality time, right, or something low-key, and it's like wait, I was about to do this big grand extravaganza, flexing for people that don't really care so here's a challenge that we have for you all.00:54:36.181 --> 00:54:45.942


Uh, whether it's this week or just when you have your monthly check-ins, we want you to ask each other what are the top three shared goals for this year?00:54:46.510 --> 00:54:47.896


Yeah, and the vision board.00:54:47.896 --> 00:55:01.181


These are all pieces that are tangible, that you can do and build on, no matter where you are in your relationship, in your marriage, in your journey, to be able to just enhance what you're already doing.00:55:01.181 --> 00:55:07.003


And it's such a game changer because I think just it allows you to unlock another level.00:55:07.003 --> 00:55:14.548


And it's taken us years and also a ton of conversations with a lot of successful married couples, people that we aspire.00:55:14.548 --> 00:55:30.085


You know we've got some great, you know kind of couples that have been mentors for us, that have provided tons of value, that have allowed us to say wait, that's something that we definitely want to take with us, that we can share with, you know, other people, to be in a position to grow that legacy as well.00:55:30.871 --> 00:55:37.516


Next is going to be, our weekly check-in day will be, and having that set on your calendar.00:55:37.516 --> 00:55:38.137


It's a Google calendar invite.00:55:38.137 --> 00:55:38.418


I know we do.00:55:38.418 --> 00:55:39.463


It's called our strategy meeting calendar.00:55:39.463 --> 00:55:40.327


It's a google calendar invite.00:55:40.327 --> 00:55:40.929


I know we do.00:55:40.929 --> 00:55:44.157


It's called our strategy meeting and it's every wednesday.00:55:44.617 --> 00:55:57.050


It's typically a 5 30 but, interesting enough, I feel like we maybe need to switch that, because after work, we're we're too tired and so I think maybe having that earlier in the day is even something that we're going to transition into.00:55:57.050 --> 00:56:02.940


But realizing, okay, where is where do we have the most energy and when?00:56:02.940 --> 00:56:07.628


And then also, where do we need to be when we're talking about money?00:56:07.628 --> 00:56:09.778


Because if we're in the house, I might be feeling a little triggered.00:56:09.778 --> 00:56:17.914


But if you get me out of the house and you know, you kind of take me on a little bit of a date, but it's not like it's a money date, right, where we're talking about our finances.00:56:17.914 --> 00:56:28.472


But you know, feed me, right, give me a little like pastry and coffee or tea, right, just to make it a little bit more of what your other person may be looking for.00:56:28.472 --> 00:56:30.800


But those are just some of the questions that you can start asking.00:56:30.800 --> 00:56:38.423


But having a specific day every week that you just check in, or even monthly, is critical.00:56:38.710 --> 00:56:46.251


Yeah, and we're in a time where AI is changing the game too, so if you're nervous about what prompts, you should say what questions you should ask how do I present this?00:56:46.311 --> 00:56:47.135


information.00:56:47.135 --> 00:56:50.467


What are some places to go that I can have this talk?00:56:50.467 --> 00:56:52.612


That's like quiet but also intimate.00:56:52.612 --> 00:56:54.034


To have the conversation.00:56:54.034 --> 00:57:01.693


Use your tools right Ask AI, ask, chat, gbt and see what comes back to you and allow that to help build a framework.00:57:01.693 --> 00:57:08.664


To come to your partner or spouse and say, like this is how we want to build, or even some ideas on goals and aspirations.00:57:08.949 --> 00:57:09.070


Yes.00:57:09.110 --> 00:57:10.672


You don't have some from the start.00:57:10.672 --> 00:57:12.315


I know you like to do this.00:57:12.315 --> 00:57:15.579


What are some things that could spark passion?00:57:15.579 --> 00:57:18.902


Excitement or goal setting for me or my partner.00:57:18.902 --> 00:57:23.548


Excitement or goal setting for me or my partner these are the things that we currently enjoy.00:57:26.670 --> 00:57:28.936


Yes, I'm so glad you mentioned chat GPT, because or just using AI, because you can come up with your budget.00:57:28.936 --> 00:57:33.005


You can tell them what your long-term goal is and how do I get there.00:57:33.005 --> 00:57:40.067


You can ask what are some prompts for my spouse, for me to ask them about money and have them not feel triggered.00:57:40.067 --> 00:57:58.954


You can be very specific on chat GPT, and we like to use the voice feature because when you're just talking into the your phone, it's a great way to for you to be able to not have to mentally carry all of that and just speak it, just keep talking and just speak it.00:57:58.954 --> 00:58:00.679


So I'm really glad that you brought that up.00:58:00.679 --> 00:58:03.985


So we have three more challenges.00:58:04.067 --> 00:58:07.074


We want you to also talk about what is our financial goal?00:58:07.074 --> 00:58:08.701


We're focusing on this quarter.00:58:08.701 --> 00:58:11.952


Right, that's just what we were talking about before.00:58:11.952 --> 00:58:15.646


You said something about, uh, with the Amazon or in subscriptions.00:58:15.646 --> 00:58:18.592


Hey, we're going to transition from some of these subscriptions.00:58:18.592 --> 00:58:21.958


We're going maybe take that 100 down to 75.00:58:21.958 --> 00:58:25.141


Right, it's those small changes.00:58:25.141 --> 00:58:26.905


We're not going cold turkey, like you mentioned.00:58:26.905 --> 00:58:29.318


But what are the small changes that we can do this quarter?00:58:29.318 --> 00:58:31.869


Um, in order for us to get closer to our financial goals.00:58:31.869 --> 00:58:37.998


Then go into three words that define our marriage vision.00:58:39.940 --> 00:58:43.644


Oh that that's powerful and I'm just very powerful.00:58:43.664 --> 00:58:44.385


That's prompting me.00:58:44.385 --> 00:58:45.233


I'm already just thinking.00:58:45.233 --> 00:58:55.331


Like you know, we talk about the legacy, we talk about servant leadership or impact right, we talk about giving back and also, just you know, love being at the foundation of faith.00:58:55.331 --> 00:58:57.916


I mean, those are just some of the key words that are coming to mind.00:58:57.916 --> 00:59:11.021


For someone that's like, ooh, where do I start, what do I say, or how do I go from here, and it's like those are some of the things that are long-term, sustainable success, not just like flash or rich or those types of things.00:59:11.329 --> 00:59:16.637


And even going back to some of the words we used before, was peace, purpose, trust.00:59:16.998 --> 00:59:17.338


Yes.00:59:18.179 --> 00:59:21.724


Grace, yes, right, those are also some words, too, that we can add in.00:59:21.724 --> 00:59:22.905


So I love what you mentioned.00:59:22.905 --> 00:59:31.713


And, lastly, is one verse or affirmation that's going to anchor us?00:59:31.713 --> 00:59:34.659


And so I believe you mentioned Philippians 4.13 earlier.00:59:34.699 --> 00:59:37.043


I didn't John 3.30, but Philippians 4.13,.00:59:37.043 --> 00:59:37.643


I appreciate you.00:59:37.643 --> 00:59:42.306


Yes, I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me On our board in our office.00:59:42.327 --> 00:59:54.735


It is, it is, and that's something we look at every day, and although there is an I am statement in front of that, or I can change that to, we can, we can do everything with Christ at the helm, and so I think that's a great way.00:59:54.735 --> 01:00:06.931


And then also just having an affirmation right, we like what is almost like your, your team, your marriage tagline you know right.01:00:06.952 --> 01:00:07.695


Like that you can rally behind.01:00:07.695 --> 01:00:08.237


I believe that we will win.01:00:08.237 --> 01:00:08.778


I believe that we will win.01:00:08.778 --> 01:00:09.623


That's exactly what I thought about.01:00:09.623 --> 01:00:11.188


That's exactly what I thought about.01:00:11.188 --> 01:00:12.715


So yeah, I mean, what do you think?01:00:13.318 --> 01:00:17.112


No, I think these are so many, so many keys, so many things that have been breakthroughs for us.01:00:17.574 --> 01:00:36.730


It's a continual journey, too, because it's not about getting to a million or getting to a millionaire like actual dollars how do you keep it, how do you have that mindset for longevity, long-term success, because there's a lot of people that have got to a goal and then lost it and they're telling the story about what they used to have.01:00:36.730 --> 01:00:38.155


So that longevity and foundation everything that we shared.01:00:38.155 --> 01:00:55.753


I feel like I and I know not only has it been a game changer for us, and things that longevity and foundation everything that we shared, I feel like I know not only has it been a game changer for us and things that we've learned from those that are doing it at the highest level, but now we've seen it in practice and how it's impacted our marriage, our financial house and how we're growing the legacy over just the lifestyle.01:00:56.637 --> 01:00:57.940


Love it, love it.01:00:57.940 --> 01:01:04.233


Thank you so much, cupp.01:01:04.233 --> 01:01:05.554


Love it, love it.01:01:05.554 --> 01:01:06.597


Thank you so much.01:01:06.597 --> 01:01:07.438


Coupley fit fam.01:01:07.438 --> 01:01:10.563


If you are watching us on youtube, please like and subscribe.01:01:10.563 --> 01:01:13.510


As always, follow us on social media at coupley fit c-o-u-p-l-e-y, f-i-t bye.