Episode 40: Wanna Win? Stop Waiting to Feel Like It!

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Hey Cupply Fit fam.

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Welcome back to another episode of the Cupply Fit podcast where we talk all things health, mindset and marriage.

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If you're sitting on the couch right now looking for motivation, this episode is for you.

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We are talking about discipline today, and is there a myth that motivation is more important than discipline?

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We're going to see, but we think that discipline wins every time.

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Absolutely, I agree.

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I think that discipline it's it's those behaviors, it's those daily habits, it's the little things that sometimes I mean we don't want to do, but it makes a difference.

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Absolutely so.

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Let's get into why motivation is overrated.

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Let's get into why motivation is overrated.

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First off, motivation is emotional.

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It's purely about how we feel.

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It's tied to your mood, your energy, the environment that you're in and really, when we think long term about motivation, it's unreliable.

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Yeah, you're not going to have it every day.

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I mean, I think people have this idea that even even someone that's inspired your most inspiring people, your most motivating they don't wake up every day motivated.

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No they don't, but they can rely on the discipline, the habits, the routine, the things that you put in a place to help you bridge the gap when you don't want to do it or when you don't feel motivated.

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Yes, and to your point, I know something even for you right, there is a reason why you have motivational videos or motivational quotes.

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Right, it is to kind of cater to that mood or the energy that you might be feeling.

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But, as we know, our energy is fleeting, like we can one day feel like I'm energized, I'm ready to go, I'm feeling so motivated, and literally the next day just say I'm not motivated to do anything 100% and to that point I mean I think every day I listen to a YouTube motivational video.

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a lot of times it's a mix between a David Goggins, it's different inspiring leaders that can give that extra oomph.

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Because sometimes you wake up and it's five in the morning, 6 in the morning, or going to the gym or getting ready for a meeting and you're like I could take the day off.

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I could take the day off, oh my gosh.

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And again, I think also too, if we're talking about motivation being tied to your mood, energy and environment, let's really think about where we are in the world today.

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Right, like our moods, and really our leader of the country, his mood is fleeting.

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It is not necessarily linear or has a cadence to it.

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You don't know what you're getting into.

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So now you have to really rely on okay, what is discipline and what does that really mean?

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and speaking of that too, just with everything going on right now.

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I mean, we were, we were on a flight recently and going through the airport and the amount of military personnel that we saw gearing up, getting ready, leaving their families, people getting dropped off at the airport in full military uniform because they're getting ready to either deploy or get prepared for what's going on.

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And I think to that exact point like when there is so much uncertainty and chaos, different things happening, it's easy to not be motivated and be like I don't know what's coming next.

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Absolutely.

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So let's get into what discipline really means.

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It's about doing what needs to be done, even when we don't feel like doing it.

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I'm going to give a perfect example.

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I'm going to give a perfect example.

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Yesterday I woke up and I was like you know what I would love to play some Madden right now.

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Yeah, just all day maybe.

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Right all day, just me, just me, dynasty mode, like we're.

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We're playing Madden all day.

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Did I turn the game on?

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I don't think so, just because we had other things going on, right, work, meetings, all of the stuff.

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But that was a little decision that made a big difference, because I would have been way off of my routine.

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What I wanted to get accomplished.

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I'm sure you wouldn't have been very pleased with me if I had been on the game all day and we had other things going on.

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Absolutely, and when you really think about it, right we how many things need to get done and you have this laundry list.

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Right of gosh, I have to do this for the house or professionally, or, you know, even as a parent, and you're not going to always feel like doing it.

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So this is really when that discipline comes into play.

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And discipline is really a it's a muscle that you have to train.

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It's not a mindset where you can even say, when it comes to motivation, some would say it's tied to your mindset mindset but really, when we talk about discipline, it is that a muscle that has to constantly be exercised and worked out.

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Um be, but another way that you can reframe is that discipline equals self-respect in action we start approaching it like that when you start talking about that self-respect.

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I said I was going to do this.

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I told myself I was going to accomplish this or that I was going to get this done today.

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I'm going to hold myself to it.

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Yes, despite what.

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I may feel I'm going to hold myself accountable, despite what I might get invited to do, what may be on TV, the game that might be on, whatever that is.

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No, I've got this that I need to get accomplished, and it's a lot easier said than done, because it is a tough decision.

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It is a lot of times even a sacrifice or an adjustment, because there's always other things that come up, or even distractions.

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Yes, it's really, and what I loved about that is that it's self-respect.

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You really are, are respecting yourself, your wishes, what needs to get done in order to move forward or just really cultivate that muscle of discipline?

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And you got to say no a lot too right, Like I think that gets overlooked a lot of times but you're not going to be able to go to every party, every invite, every event, or even just like take every call, different things, Like.

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There will be moments where it's like, hey, you got to understand I've you know, I literally have to get this accomplished, or I got to circle back with you after I finish.

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Yes, and even you know, I'm sure most people right now they you know couple-y fit name and you know couples fitness is what we've also heard over the time over the years.

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But discipline also when it comes to your health and wellness, right, like that's something that is can correlate to where you have to go to the gym to build that muscle, and the more that you go, the stronger you're going to get.

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So the more that you build those small acts of discipline, the stronger you're going to get, and it's going to be easier to say those no's right.

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Or it's going to be easier to say, hey, this is something I need to do, so I'm going to respect myself and what I said I was going to do and I'm going to have to turn this down or I'm going to have to, you know, just make other accommodations.

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And there are always different areas to that point that you made, especially when you talk about health and wellness, of the areas of opportunity.

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Cause I just think about for me, like get it having discipline around going to the gym and getting active, like I've got that down, like I would say that I'll check that box.

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Having discipline about snacking at nighttime you know that, popcorn or something while I'm watching TV or just like literally mindless eating.

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Yes.

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That's something I can work on.

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It's an area of opportunity.

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But if I can, again, you make those adjustments or be able to, whether it's build accountability or have those check in reminders Sometimes it's not even you know, can't bring Oreos in the house or different things like that because it's if you're snacking on those Right Slippery slope slippery slope, but again, right, you can reframe that to say that this is good, this is how I respect myself and also respect my goals.

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Right Like, I set this goal, I want to accomplish this goal and by me doing these steps I'm going to be able to get there.

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But it is going to take discipline to do that.

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So let's talk about how to build discipline.

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Right Like, it's easy to talk about it, but how do I actually build that muscle?

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So one way to do that is to start with micro habits.

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You were just talking about the snacking, right?

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These are going to be small wins that build momentum and reduce resistance.

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So for me, this really goes into when you're talking about those small wins and building momentum.

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It goes back to positive psychology.

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What are your strengths?

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If you know that you are more routine oriented, then make whatever you're doing throughout the day routine oriented.

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If you know that you need a little bit of a switch up here and there, but you want to stay disciplined in whatever you're doing, then go ahead and do that.

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Know how you work, and then you're going to be able to get more disciplined and have those small wins that will also help to reduce the resistance, cause that's what can feel so overwhelming Sometimes is the resistance.

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You're like, you're in your head, man, this show is so good, but I know that I should get up and do these dishes.

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I know that I should get up and, like you know, take the dog out.

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I know that I should be doing these things, but, man, this, like this couch, feels so good, or you know, I just want to be able to have, you know, something like you were mentioning snacking.

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I want to be able to have this snack, but it's not getting me closer to my goals.

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No, that's facts, and I even think about, too, the knowing yourself, like you said, like I'm a morning person, so I got to get my workout in the morning.

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Otherwise, just as the day goes on like it, just it typically doesn't happen.

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That's also when you have the most energy, right?

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So it's knowing yourself that, yes, you're a morning person, but you have the most energy when you're in the morning.

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When it starts hitting that afternoon time you.

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There's a little bit of a dip there slight dip, slight dip, but some ways that you can start building momentum is make your bed every morning.

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That's a big one.

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That's a big one, I think.

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I think that making a bed, I think there's some stats tied to success around people that make their bed.

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I will be.

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I'm sure there is, and thank you for bringing that up.

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But something I will say is when we first started dating around what 22, 23, I honestly would just get out of bed and just keep going.

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The rest of the house is in order always, but my bed I never just actually made my bed.

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And then we started dating and you were like, hey, whoever is the last person out of the bed needs to make the bed.

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It's mandatory and I was like, oh okay, like, like the, like the bed.

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The bed being unmade to me is just like it is.

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It gives a little chaos, like it does I literally feel like what's going on in here, what's?

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happening and you almost don't even want to go into that room.

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You're just like oh, every time I get in here.

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And again, if you talk about um building resistance, like that is a form of resistance, because it's just like it feels like chaos in here.

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I don't know what's going on and little things that we do too, just like when it comes to the bed or your bedroom, like we don't have a tv in our bedroom.

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We do not, and so I think for so we did though we did at one point, we never watched it.

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We never watched it but I think for so many people it's that idea of like oh, I'm in my bed, I'm laying in the bed, I'm watching you get comfortable.

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Like I couldn't imagine waking up in the morning turning the TV on in my bed.

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You might not get up.

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I mean, especially if you get a good show going, you hit a.

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You know you hit a streak.

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Oh, like you.

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Just I didn't get out of bed not getting out of bed.

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But if that routine is like I'm going to get out of bed, I'm going to do this process, and it doesn't make getting out of bed easier, it's just the process.

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You get stronger over time that muscle, the muscle you're building and, like you said, the micro habits.

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Because now, when you wake up and you remember that feeling of yesterday I got up, got my routine, got active, like I felt like I got so much more done in my day or I got more accomplished you start to look forward to that feeling and that excitement, even more than the comfort of like, ooh, that is soft right now, or it's comfortable, or I could lay here another hour or two or push my alarm back.

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Yes, and a couple of other ways that you can do that too.

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Adding to what you said is you know, I am going to do a 10 minute walk after meals, right?

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That's something that we always preach to is just being able to also just get out in nature is something, too.

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But whatever that micro habit looks like for you, we also like to do daily journaling right, that can be just five minutes, right?

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We don't need to put in a time that is like I'm going to do this for 30 minutes an hour.

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If you do not have that time, do not set that goal for yourself, but everyone usually has about five minutes, right?

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Like I can do something for five minutes.

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I appreciate that you said that too, because I remember we watched, you know, like a mastermind, someone on YouTube, and they're like I meditate for an hour, I do this for another hour.

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I'm like, where are these hours?

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coming from?

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Where are the hours coming from?

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I got things to do.

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So, but, but to your point, five minutes like the routine of my power hour and five minutes being meditation, 10 minutes, five or 10 minutes being journaling, like you can.

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It's a micro habit, but it makes such a big difference of setting the intention for the day, setting yourself up for success, that it just starts to really stack up.

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Yes, and now you've built a routine, you've built a habit.

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Now other people start to notice maybe some of the differences and you start to really build momentum.

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Absolutely.

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And let's go back to even Kobe Bryant.

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He was talking about mama mentality, and one thing that he always does when he wakes up is 10 minutes of complete silence and meditation, and he said that really sets the tone for his day.

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One thing you will always hear us say, even in previous episodes, is you want to be the thermostat and not the thermometer.

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That's something that's so critical, too when you're talking about building these micro habits, because you're building that muscle to where the resistance doesn't seem as strong anymore.

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Like it's almost very similar if you've worked out with resistance bands and you start at the lowest and you're just like, okay, like I can, kind of I can do this, I can do.

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But as you go up in resistance it does seem to get harder.

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But yet you've been working on it for so long that when you get to the highest resistance it's not as hard anymore.

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Yeah, it kind of reminds you of almost like doing an exercise, a pushup or a pull up or whatever.

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So that first time you got in there you maybe couldn't do one right, like I couldn't even get the pull up, I couldn't do it all the way pushed up, I had to fall down.

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And you're like wait, I did a set of five, I did three or I did 10.

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And you can remember how far you progress.

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But now it's not that it's gotten easier, it has.

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It feels easier because you've built up that habit and routine.

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And really what you're doing is you're building trust with yourself.

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I know that I can do this because I've done it and I've set the the intention of building these micro habits and sticking to them.

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So now, that muscle that we're talking about, with discipline, I'm building up and I trust myself now that, oh no, I know that even if I go on vacation, I trust my routine or I trust my micro habits because I built up that strength.

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So now let's get into something that you've kind of mentioned throughout the beginning of this episode, and that's anchoring discipline to your identity.

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So, for example, let's say that, you know it's, I would love to be a morning person.

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That would be so wonderful if I could wake up in the morning.

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I want to wake up early, reframe that and say I'm the kind of person who honors my mornings right.

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So now there's a shift in the mindset of I'm using affirmations that align with my future self and so, therefore, it's those I am statements and I am the kind of person that does this.

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I will do this.

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When you start talking like that, it again, it builds that strength, it builds that muscle, it builds that trust, and I think that's really key when we talk about, you know, anchoring discipline to your identity.

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Yeah, I think that's such a great point and I think, too, meeting people need to meet themselves where they're at.

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So if you know that you're a nighttime person, don't try to put the 4 am or 5 am workout on your calendar.

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Instead, like I've got some friends of mine that that train at night.

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Man, I just finished a workout.

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It's 11 pm I know like man, the family's asleep, everything is done.

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I can just focus out on my workout from 10 or 11 to midnight or whatever.

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I'm like wow, but good for you good for you, but you know yourself.

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But you know yourself and you know that maybe you only need seven hours of sleep, or six hours or whatever, and you can get up.

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You know yourself and you know that maybe you only need seven hours of sleep or six hours or whatever, and you can get up, you know.

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Or you sleep in a little bit because you did that late night workout.

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It's just better to build your habits and routine.

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So know yourself to that point as well.

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Yes, I mean that almost goes back to I am statements, right, and that affirmations that this is the future person that I want to be.

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So I'm going to speak as that future person.

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I think that's very key.

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So, after this, it's also create an environment that supports focus.

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We live in a day and age of distractions.

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I mean, it's constant, it's coming from everywhere.

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Just simply being on your phone and the amount of notifications that you can get from the amount of apps that we all have on our phones, it can be not only so overwhelming, but it can really be a paralysis by analysis, right?

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So you want to be able to foster an environment that should help you and not tempt you, right?

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So, just like we said, even with our phones, set your phone to D&D during focus hours, right?

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Do not disturb.

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Do not disturb.

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I think that's really key when it comes to our phones, like that is becoming an addiction.

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Same with even TV, right Like electronics are becoming an addiction for us.

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I think also going to water, journaling, workout gear, making that visible so that you know like that's going to help to support your focus, Um, but it's also creating an environment for that.

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Yeah, the preparation.

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I mean.

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I think it gets so overlooked how much you can set yourself up for success by preparing right Like even just being able to say, like I literally laid out my workout clothes for tomorrow the shirt, the shorts, the shoes.

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It's it's like in the bag, it's sitting out so I can just put it on.

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Or my work shirts for the week, like I already have them on the hanger ready to roll.

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So now you're not digging through the laundry trying to find a work shirt or you're not running frantic course, right, but how much better do you feel prepared in your routine If you, you know, are prepped before or even just looking at?

00:17:21.704 --> 00:17:32.626
I know you mentioned that journaling, but like I even love that we are looking out or looking out ahead at like the week and we have a shared like a physical written calendar that we're writing things on.

00:17:32.626 --> 00:17:51.278
So it's like, hey, remember Dennis appointment on Wednesday, hey, we've got this coming up this week and being able to game plan for it, because so often I feel like when you're, you know, kind of like catching things that are coming at you, you definitely end up being more so that you know you end up being the thermometer, not the thermostat.

00:17:51.499 --> 00:18:25.435
Life comes at you fast, and one thing that I really appreciate you know us both being athletes too and just having that type of mentality is when we were watching Beckham, david Beckham's documentary on Netflix, and what I really love that he did was he had a clothing rack separate from his closet and he had these little circles where he just puts it's something that you can hang on to the rod, but it says like Monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, across the board, he lays out all of his clothes for that entire week.

00:18:25.435 --> 00:18:31.950
So now he's not trying to figure out what am I going to wear, cause I feel like for most of us, especially women, it's like oh, what am I going to wear what?

00:18:31.950 --> 00:18:33.538
What heels are you know what?

00:18:33.538 --> 00:18:34.260
What's my outfit?

00:18:34.723 --> 00:18:38.373
And something that we even do on Sundays, again, discipline is.

00:18:38.373 --> 00:18:40.218
We know that we're going to work out for the week.

00:18:40.218 --> 00:18:47.647
So let's have all of our workout gear.

00:18:47.647 --> 00:18:49.634
Let's have our socks, let's have our socks, let's have our sneakers.

00:18:49.634 --> 00:18:50.979
We're gonna have our backpacks by the door.

00:18:50.979 --> 00:18:51.922
It's going to have our headphones, you know?

00:18:51.922 --> 00:18:59.238
Um, the make sure the nimble is, which is a recovery a recovery a massage gun, have that charged and ready to go.

00:18:59.298 --> 00:19:10.962
I'm gonna fill up my water right, but it's having that discipline to do that and you're only really have to carve out like certain amounts of time and then you'll get more efficient as you go 100%.

00:19:10.962 --> 00:19:19.894
Something else, too, that I really like when you talk about creating an environment that supports focus is unfollow distractions on social media.

00:19:20.395 --> 00:19:20.817
What did they say?

00:19:20.817 --> 00:19:21.218
We get like?

00:19:21.218 --> 00:19:23.512
Is it 30,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day?

00:19:23.845 --> 00:19:26.228
It's up to 40,000 thoughts 40,000 thoughts a day.

00:19:26.307 --> 00:19:37.775
So if you think about how many thoughts that are coming at you, if there are things that are negative or, you know, drawing you back right, or just sometimes even it can be things that you have to unfollow, like the news.

00:19:37.775 --> 00:20:00.096
Oh man, like man, it can be so much and it's like, this is negative, it's this, and you want to be aware of what's going on, but you also don't want to live in fear or you know, or fury, because it's like this is, this is what's next, or this is what happened to my community, or another negative, and it's always such a lot of times bad news or bad perspectives that it's easy to stay in that mindset.

00:20:00.556 --> 00:20:06.098
Right, and that even goes back to what we said about motivation, right, motivation is tied to your mood, energy and environment.

00:20:06.098 --> 00:20:21.426
And if it's constant with the news that it's going to be negative, like you said, or just not something that's really empowering you or making you feel like I want to be, I want to be disciplined, right it's.

00:20:21.426 --> 00:20:23.971
Sometimes you can just feel like I want to just lay in bed and eat chocolate and binge a show, you know.

00:20:24.633 --> 00:20:26.655
So I absolutely agree with you there.

00:20:26.655 --> 00:20:29.507
After that, you want to track your progress.

00:20:29.507 --> 00:20:34.355
Something we always say is that it's progress over perfection.

00:20:34.355 --> 00:20:38.374
Discipline doesn't mean that you're never going to mess up either.

00:20:38.374 --> 00:20:58.714
I think that's something that's very important, because one thing that we we even heard with people that you know trying to get back into the gym or trying to start a new routine, as soon as they either mess up or like miss a day, it's just like well, kind of whatever I'm going to do, I'm going to go off the rails throw the goals into the wind.

00:20:59.026 --> 00:21:01.273
Yeah, I'm going to go off the rails.

00:21:01.273 --> 00:21:03.647
So what it really means is discipline.

00:21:03.647 --> 00:21:11.460
It means that you're going to get back up, but you're going to get back up faster because you've been strengthening that muscle with some of the tips that we've talked about.

00:21:11.460 --> 00:21:15.087
So some of the ways that you can do that is through habit tracking apps.

00:21:15.087 --> 00:21:16.750
I know something for us, too.

00:21:16.750 --> 00:21:24.318
Although it's not like habit tracking, we really like the reminders app that's in our phone, where you can also remind yourself of a habit.

00:21:24.318 --> 00:21:35.633
So if that's I need to drink more water or I need to get active or I have to even, you know, pick up the kids at this certain time, like those are all habits that are happening on a daily basis.

00:21:35.924 --> 00:21:39.092
And another habit tracker that we do we both have them on is our Apple watches.

00:21:39.432 --> 00:21:39.614
Yes.

00:21:39.704 --> 00:21:41.291
And so you know we get the reminder.

00:21:41.291 --> 00:21:52.020
We share our activity so I'll be able to respond when it's like Deanna just finished a workout, she just finished a you know a HIIT training and I'm like dang go girl, I'll see you Right.

00:21:52.020 --> 00:21:59.007
But like being able to have that reminder where it's like hey, kurt, reminder, stand up.

00:21:59.027 --> 00:22:00.429
And I know some some people are like man, those watches.

00:22:00.429 --> 00:22:13.430
Like you know, I wear other stuff, but for us, just being able to have that like, like I literally feel a little bit naked without my watch on, like if I go to the gym, I still got, I still burn calories, I still got to work out, but when I don't see my watch, did it count, did it count?

00:22:13.430 --> 00:22:14.333
It's not on my tracker.

00:22:14.333 --> 00:22:20.550
I can't see my heart rate in this and, like, all of that has become such a part of our routine and it doesn't need to be an Apple watch.

00:22:20.550 --> 00:22:30.778
It can be a, a Fitbit, a Whoop or whatever, but just being able to have that or or ring, like, to have that accountability, it does make a difference to be able to track your metrics and see how you're doing.

00:22:30.999 --> 00:22:37.548
Yeah, absolutely, and I think also that's a great way, to your point, to celebrate your streaks and your milestones, right?

00:22:37.548 --> 00:22:42.008
I know, even for us, we have two apps on our phone that we really enjoy.

00:22:42.008 --> 00:22:53.108
Number one is the I am affirmations app, and it will literally tell you like you'll get a notification of, hey, you're on a three-day streak and you're like, yes, I did it, like you, just celebrating those wins.

00:22:53.108 --> 00:22:58.909
And then also when it comes to the bible app, for us both too, right, that's new version the yes.

00:22:59.009 --> 00:23:08.857
So the new version bible app is incredible for us and they give you those, the streaks and the milestones and how long you've been in the Bible app, for that's something for us.

00:23:08.857 --> 00:23:21.977
It just it's a little bit of that boost of of yes, like you're doing a great job, keep it up and you're strengthening that muscle how long did it take you to find some of these examples and like some of these?

00:23:22.137 --> 00:23:30.287
because it takes time, right, but I'm thinking about that person that's on the couch right now that's trying to figure out like step one, right, okay, I make my bed, but what else?

00:23:30.287 --> 00:23:39.635
Like what did your journey or progress look like when it came to just finding out some of these different like habits, routines, like things to add in, things maybe to take out?

00:23:40.486 --> 00:23:41.407
Well, full transparency.

00:23:41.407 --> 00:23:51.262
I think when you are an athlete, there is a certain type of discipline that you have to have, especially if you want to be great, and so it did start from there.

00:23:51.262 --> 00:23:59.852
But then, as you know, you get older and life starts happening and you know you have more responsibilities and those things you have to adjust.

00:23:59.852 --> 00:24:06.012
So one thing for us that is has always been a constant habit is making sure that we get into the gym.

00:24:06.012 --> 00:24:07.846
That is a constant for us.

00:24:07.846 --> 00:24:24.258
I think, something that we've incorporated the past few years is like the importance of our morning routine, and that's where we add in that five minutes of journaling, 10 minutes of reading, uh, making sure that we are opening our bible app every day, making sure that we're saying our I am statements in the mirror, right, those are just little habits.

00:24:24.258 --> 00:24:31.665
That we are opening our bible app every day, making sure that we're saying our I am statements in the mirror, right, those are just little habits that we've been able to build over time.

00:24:32.387 --> 00:24:35.513
And um, you also find out what works for you.

00:24:35.513 --> 00:24:48.387
Just because I'm saying, something that works for for me may not work for you, and so, again, this goes back to knowing yourself, knowing what you need, and if you are not, I would say that we are more disciplined than most.

00:24:48.387 --> 00:25:02.541
But this also started very young, I think, for for uh, at least me I can speak for myself Discipline started very young, as, having two parents that were collegiate athletes, there's a way that you know things are ran and things are done, and so, um it.

00:25:02.541 --> 00:25:09.053
It really just depends on you what works best for you, and then don't be afraid to adjust.

00:25:09.053 --> 00:25:16.391
Don't be uh, you know upset if something doesn't work out for you and it's like God, but it worked out for them, like why is it not working out for me?

00:25:16.391 --> 00:25:17.730
Is something wrong with me?

00:25:17.730 --> 00:25:21.487
It's not any of that, it's just that this may not work for you, and that's okay.

00:25:21.826 --> 00:25:24.869
Yeah, no, I really appreciate you sharing that too, because, as I think about, it, what about?

00:25:25.710 --> 00:25:25.769
you.

00:25:25.769 --> 00:25:35.298
Well, one of the things you touched on probably the biggest one, which was that power hour, adding in the journaling Because I would write down my goals, even going back.

00:25:35.298 --> 00:25:37.319
But I got away from that a little bit.

00:25:37.319 --> 00:25:40.541
It was very sports focused, like this is my sports goal.

00:25:40.541 --> 00:25:49.156
But then once I got to my, once I reached my goal of being a D1 athlete and accomplishing my goals in football, then it was like, okay, what now?

00:25:49.156 --> 00:25:50.559
Now, what Am I writing down?

00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:56.637
So now being able to be in a space where I'm writing down my goals for life, my goals for marriage, my goals for business.

00:25:56.637 --> 00:26:09.835
But what's so exciting and this is going to be something that can really hopefully bless somebody that's listening is once you create the routine and implement some of these habits, you start to see you're getting green lights, you start hitting these goals.

00:26:09.835 --> 00:26:14.391
You start to realize like wait, 90% of the things I wrote down I achieved.

00:26:14.391 --> 00:26:15.614
Yeah, I got accomplished.

00:26:15.614 --> 00:26:19.375
And that makes you write down the next set of goals for the next month or the next quarter.

00:26:19.375 --> 00:26:27.797
And you start to build that momentum because once you start winning and you get that feeling, it's infectious, like you want yeah, you start to chase it in a

00:26:27.817 --> 00:26:36.515
good way no, you're absolutely correct and to your point right, celebrating the, the milestones and celebrating how far you've come.

00:26:36.515 --> 00:26:49.830
I know, even for us, there's times that we've looked back at previous years and those goals, even our vision boards, and we're just like, oh my gosh, like we accomplished that, we did that, we, we literally put in the work to be able to do that.

00:26:49.830 --> 00:26:53.458
Um, and it again, it takes time.

00:26:53.458 --> 00:26:56.270
So I think just giving yourself that grace is another big key here.

00:26:56.270 --> 00:27:03.752
So something else that, uh, we have here is create a non-negotiable three list.

00:27:03.752 --> 00:27:09.410
So what that means is these are three daily habits you commit to, no matter what.

00:27:10.634 --> 00:27:19.498
So we've mentioned a little bit about us with our, our power hour and making sure that we're looking at the bible app, our iam statements, um, as well as like exercise for us.

00:27:19.498 --> 00:27:21.288
And then we're once you.

00:27:21.288 --> 00:27:34.717
Once you build those habits and they are kind, they are a part of your daily routine then start building your next three right, and then your next three and just making it more digestible.

00:27:34.717 --> 00:27:51.032
Where it's not like I have all of these goals and I want to, I want to be disciplined in all these areas, it's like, well, first off, let's just focus in one area, build your non-negotiables there and then add the other areas to it, so that you don't get that paralysis by analysis or just feeling overwhelmed.

00:27:51.674 --> 00:27:52.758
Progress is a process.

00:27:53.045 --> 00:28:04.153
Amen, so that can look like drinking water, praying, reflecting for five minutes, and what it's doing is that it's building consistency and it's building confidence.

00:28:04.153 --> 00:28:15.689
And that's one thing we even noticed when we were doing, uh, you know, our bootcamp days and custom meal plans all of that we saw the people that were being the most consistent and coming.

00:28:15.689 --> 00:28:20.778
Often, they are seeing results and their confidence.

00:28:20.778 --> 00:28:24.113
We had some people that their confidence boy, it's like you.

00:28:24.113 --> 00:28:25.497
You, you switched up on us.

00:28:25.497 --> 00:28:28.729
You people that their confidence boy, it's like you, you switched up on us.

00:28:28.729 --> 00:28:28.808
You.

00:28:28.808 --> 00:28:35.429
You're coming in here with, like, your shoulders back, your head, head held high, and it looks like you are, uh, in a better space you.

00:28:35.449 --> 00:28:39.104
I mean you'll outlast 60 of people just by showing up just by showing up.

00:28:39.144 --> 00:28:40.507
You literally just show up every day.

00:28:40.507 --> 00:28:46.234
You're gonna already be like 60 and then it starts to become the fine tuning, the little things right.

00:28:46.234 --> 00:28:47.925
The little things right, the little adjustments.

00:28:47.925 --> 00:28:55.121
And it makes such a big difference when you invest into yourself and really pour in on those things.

00:28:55.121 --> 00:29:01.019
And even for somebody that may be thinking about on the faith side, how do I connect more, maybe with prayer or faith?

00:29:01.019 --> 00:29:03.517
Or it could be as simple as just blessing your food.

00:29:04.058 --> 00:29:04.560
Amen.

00:29:04.769 --> 00:29:05.755
Literally, I'm about to eat.

00:29:05.755 --> 00:29:07.276
Let me just thank God for this meal.

00:29:07.276 --> 00:29:09.017
Someone else doesn't have any food.

00:29:09.017 --> 00:29:12.717
It's maybe not fresh, right, they're not having an opportunity to eat today.

00:29:12.717 --> 00:29:14.634
Man, Thank you so much for this meal.

00:29:14.634 --> 00:29:16.856
And that literally could be the start right there.

00:29:16.856 --> 00:29:20.141
Not overthinking it, but those little habits.

00:29:20.141 --> 00:29:26.535
If you ate two or three times today, or maybe more, those could be two or three prayers that you had in one day that helped build that habit.

00:29:26.895 --> 00:29:34.682
And, interesting enough, I, I, you know something we always talk about when it comes to Cupply Fit um, it's about accountability, motivation and connection.

00:29:34.682 --> 00:29:52.142
So if you are working on your discipline but you know somebody that is disciplined, maybe it's asking them to just, you know, help, hold you accountable a little bit and say like, hey, I'm struggling in these areas, would you be open to holding me accountable or supporting me in these areas?

00:29:52.142 --> 00:30:00.952
And it may start where you know we're both going to meet up at this one park, or you're going to come to my house and we're going to go for a walk, right, whatever that kind of looks like for you.

00:30:00.952 --> 00:30:03.641
And then that becomes a daily habit and a daily routine.

00:30:03.641 --> 00:30:08.219
And then you're going to be very surprised at when you don't do it.

00:30:08.219 --> 00:30:15.278
You feel it right, like it's just like when you don't train a certain muscle group for a long time or for some time.

00:30:15.278 --> 00:30:19.493
And if you get back into training it, you're like, oh my gosh, this weight is heavy.

00:30:19.493 --> 00:30:26.123
These, you know, everything is feeling like it's a little bit more resistance, like we were talking about earlier.

00:30:27.250 --> 00:30:29.938
So what we want to do is we want to be able to give you some resources.

00:30:29.938 --> 00:30:35.215
You know we always yes, we give you the actionable steps and some things that you can do, but here's some resources.

00:30:35.215 --> 00:30:43.955
This you the actionable steps and some things that you can do, but here are some resources.

00:30:43.955 --> 00:30:45.099
This first book is actually one of Kurt's favorite.

00:30:45.099 --> 00:30:46.604
He was gifted this by um, an incredible uh, female leader here in Arizona.

00:30:46.604 --> 00:30:47.307
It's called can't hurt me by.

00:30:47.326 --> 00:30:47.587
David Goggins.

00:30:47.607 --> 00:30:48.750
Can you tell me a little bit about that?

00:30:49.192 --> 00:30:50.075
I mean it's really powerful.

00:30:50.075 --> 00:30:55.438
You start talking about making changes, being at a point where you know David Goggins was at a low point in his life.

00:30:55.438 --> 00:31:05.042
He's talking about his transformation from, you know, spraying for roach cockroaches to being a Marine and what it takes, how many times he failed the ultimate discipline.

00:31:05.230 --> 00:31:07.492
The ultimate discipline, right when you start talking about.

00:31:07.492 --> 00:31:21.730
He's like I didn't know how to swim, I had trouble reading, learning, I had all of.

00:31:21.730 --> 00:31:23.757
He was over 300 pounds and had to lose basically 100 pounds to become a man like.

00:31:23.757 --> 00:31:25.943
There were so many elements, but what I love about his book and what he's talking about with can't hurt me.

00:31:25.943 --> 00:31:26.546
He's not using any excuses.

00:31:26.566 --> 00:31:30.676
We all have had things that have happened and maybe you know situations or circumstances that we could use as a crutch.

00:31:30.676 --> 00:31:32.080
We could say you know what?

00:31:32.080 --> 00:31:42.256
That's why I'm not gonna, that's why I'm not gonna do it, or that's why I'm not successful, or that's why I'm not going to do it, or that's why I'm not successful, or they're the reason that what they say 70% of people say it's a culture and injury why they didn't go to the pros.

00:31:42.256 --> 00:31:44.541
So everybody feels like it was something else.

00:31:44.541 --> 00:31:50.809
Right, I was almost there, but being able to read that gives a ton of inspiration and motivation.

00:31:50.809 --> 00:32:04.089
But also you hear about the, the little habits and the discipline that David created to be able to you know in his mind be like almost invincible or be the person that he wanted to become and you're.

00:32:04.089 --> 00:32:05.835
It's never too late to reinvent yourself.

00:32:06.135 --> 00:32:06.376
Right.

00:32:06.576 --> 00:32:10.354
Because I think so often people feel like, no, like I'm my prime past.

00:32:10.354 --> 00:32:16.917
I'm crying, I'm quiet, or I'm not the leader, or I'm not the person that raises their hand and steps up to the front.

00:32:16.917 --> 00:32:19.095
No, you can be whoever you want to be.

00:32:19.095 --> 00:32:21.701
You can make that change, you can decide.

00:32:21.701 --> 00:32:24.577
It takes discipline, it takes stepping outside your comfort zone.

00:32:24.577 --> 00:32:34.593
It takes not caring what other people say about you or think about you, because you know like you're stepping outside of maybe what your norm used to be.

00:32:35.114 --> 00:32:45.999
And this actually goes into one of my favorite podcasts, which is the Mel Robbins podcast, and you know, within this last year she's really mentioned the let them theory.

00:32:45.999 --> 00:33:02.442
Let them think what they want to think, let them talk about you, let them just be them, because that is on them and not on you and that won't, that shouldn't affect you and you shouldn't take it personally.

00:33:02.442 --> 00:33:06.377
Now again, does that take time to get to that point?

00:33:06.377 --> 00:33:17.297
Absolutely, but the more that you're able to tap into some of these tools and resources that help you get to that next level, the better off that you're going to be able to strengthen that muscle.

00:33:17.576 --> 00:33:20.691
And I just want to say to the two things that I love that we mentioned.

00:33:20.691 --> 00:33:24.098
Mine was a book with can't hurt me, yours is a podcast.

00:33:24.098 --> 00:33:33.095
However you like to learn, yes, the key is being a lifelong learner and continuing to gather information, learn, soak it in whatever form.

00:33:33.095 --> 00:33:35.138
That is reading audio book right?

00:33:35.138 --> 00:33:38.553
Podcast video, doing what you're doing by listening to us right now.

00:33:38.553 --> 00:33:41.961
This is a part of that step to being a better version of you.

00:33:42.269 --> 00:33:43.192
Amen, I love that.

00:33:43.192 --> 00:33:46.900
Uh, another book is atomic habits by James clear.

00:33:46.900 --> 00:33:49.773
We've heard really great things about that book.

00:33:49.773 --> 00:33:51.961
I I definitely recommend you check that out.

00:33:51.961 --> 00:33:56.134
Uh, a journal that we actually use is a life in apples journal.

00:33:56.134 --> 00:33:57.839
Love it.

00:33:58.121 --> 00:33:58.801
Highly recommend.

00:33:59.029 --> 00:34:02.482
Highly, highly, highly recommend, not too expensive.

00:34:02.584 --> 00:34:21.541
The journal comes in multiple colors and it really allows you to set your intentions for three months and you can really lay out a quarter of what you want to do when it comes to your goals, your daily eating habits, as well as like what you want to accomplish and then also what you're grateful for too.

00:34:21.690 --> 00:34:39.836
We always talk about gratitude, and when you, I think discipline and gratitude also go hand in hand, because you can be grateful for the steps that you're making and the milestones that you've reached, because it is something where you know a lot of people don't, and so if you are, then it's you give yourself a pat on the back.

00:34:41.119 --> 00:35:16.072
Next, after that is it's kind of a journal, but it's a little or book, however you want to look at it, but a prayer book or even a prayer closet, and if you don't know what a prayer closet is, that is literally like an area in your closet or just a area that you can kind of close the door and some people will just pray in their closet, some people will put up, uh, bible verses, whatever is going to help you be disciplined, and you can also in the bible app, you can type in discipline, and there will be bible verses that come out about hey, these are, this is what the bible says about discipline.

00:35:16.072 --> 00:35:21.684
But then there's also those small micro books, too uh, that you can also take a peek at.

00:35:21.684 --> 00:35:23.474
That will also talk about discipline as well.

00:35:24.197 --> 00:35:25.621
Yeah, that prayer causes is major.

00:35:25.621 --> 00:35:33.240
I mean, there's so many things that happen in so many situations, things that go on, and sometimes and sometimes the prayer calls it too, isn't just for the negative things.

00:35:33.240 --> 00:35:40.344
Sometimes it's just rejoicing and having gratitude and thanking God for making it, for being here, for maybe overcoming.

00:35:40.344 --> 00:35:42.525
I mean, I, you know one of the things that I think about.

00:35:42.525 --> 00:35:53.914
I don't talk about this enough or much at all, but you know we, you know this, but I've been in a couple of like really serious accidents, like cars completely totaled, and then I'll see an accident and it's like someone died.

00:35:53.914 --> 00:35:59.199
You know hundreds of thousands of people passed away from car accidents and I'm like I wasn't that person.

00:35:59.199 --> 00:36:04.543
Man, how grateful am I that, like I was okay, you know, and not taking that for granted.

00:36:04.643 --> 00:36:05.324
Absolutely.

00:36:05.324 --> 00:36:08.567
I think that's very key to your point.

00:36:08.567 --> 00:36:16.619
So now we're going to jump into some reflection questions, which are a great way to also get a temperature on your discipline.

00:36:16.619 --> 00:36:22.396
So the first one is when was the last time I followed through, even when I didn't feel like it?

00:36:22.818 --> 00:36:23.239
Yesterday.

00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:29.010
Yesterday I was ready to kind of take a personal day, a little bit Like man.

00:36:29.010 --> 00:36:39.001
I don't necessarily want an 8 am meeting, I don't want to go to the gym, but I literally by following through, there was a lot of fruitful conversations.

00:36:39.001 --> 00:36:40.324
It was great progress.

00:36:40.324 --> 00:36:44.101
I actually received some really strong kudos and things like that.

00:36:44.101 --> 00:36:50.503
But if I would have taken that day and I wouldn't have shown up, I would have actually blocked a blessing where, man, I got some great news.

00:36:50.623 --> 00:36:50.844
Yes.

00:36:51.190 --> 00:36:53.317
So I think that's really big.

00:36:53.436 --> 00:36:54.260
Yeah, that's huge.

00:36:54.260 --> 00:37:01.197
Another question you can ask is what would change if I prioritize discipline over mood?

00:37:01.217 --> 00:37:07.034
that's a big one, because so often the mood I mean your mood can can just change with the.

00:37:07.034 --> 00:37:13.938
I mean if it goes from if it goes from sunny to rainy outside mood can go from oh my gosh, instantly, for me at least.

00:37:13.938 --> 00:37:14.639
Right now.

00:37:15.661 --> 00:37:18.507
Oh, cue the hot cocoa, throw a movie on.

00:37:18.789 --> 00:37:19.250
We're off today.

00:37:19.250 --> 00:37:19.893
Give me a blanket.

00:37:19.932 --> 00:37:20.655
We're off today.

00:37:20.869 --> 00:37:25.637
There's so many times when I was in Seattle at University of Washington, rainy day, I'm like I don't know if I'm going to class today.

00:37:25.637 --> 00:37:28.038
Do not recommend not going to class.

00:37:28.110 --> 00:37:43.257
You do want to go, but it just how do you overcome that mood or the environment that you're in shifting and still staying on track?

00:37:43.257 --> 00:37:43.858
You know what that's actually?

00:37:43.858 --> 00:37:51.481
A key way of actually testing your discipline is when you do go to college, woo, when everything is on you now, like your parents are not on you every day to tell you to go to class, to do your homework to, you know, not party.

00:37:51.902 --> 00:37:52.849
You are your own accountability.

00:37:52.869 --> 00:38:00.235
You are your own accountability, and that's when discipline is key, and I remember something that I always used to say to myself is what are my priorities?

00:38:00.235 --> 00:38:02.998
My priority is to go to class.

00:38:02.998 --> 00:38:06.181
My priority is to do my homework, my priority is to graduate.

00:38:06.181 --> 00:38:10.684
Those are the three things that I always went back on, no matter what I was doing.

00:38:10.684 --> 00:38:13.186
I always was just like those are the three things I need to do.

00:38:13.186 --> 00:38:20.432
I worked full time in college, so that was obviously another one to make sure that you, you know, whatever you do, you need to make it to your job so that you can get this money.

00:38:20.934 --> 00:38:27.413
And to that point you know having for you right it was you're working full time, you're paying for school.

00:38:27.413 --> 00:38:36.163
If you don't show up and put that time in and work, like you don't pay the rent, like you don't, like, there's, there's, there's a consequence to not having the discipline.

00:38:36.163 --> 00:38:47.498
Yes, for me, in college, same thing playing college football If I don't have the discipline, if I don't show up early for practice, stay late, go to the weight room, et cetera, there's thousands of people that want my spot.

00:38:47.909 --> 00:38:48.974
That's thousands, that's right.

00:38:49.114 --> 00:38:52.297
They want your position, they want your job, they want your role, your title.

00:38:52.297 --> 00:38:53.193
You're literally.

00:38:53.193 --> 00:38:55.119
They want your locker Right.

00:38:55.119 --> 00:39:02.422
And so how do you and not letting that haunt you or give you like paralysis or fear, but more so letting that drive you that?

00:39:02.422 --> 00:39:16.697
This is why I have to show up, this is why I have to be disciplined, this is why I've got to be focused, because there's literally someone else that has an edge, or that's maybe hungrier than you or in a worse situation, that's literally trying to come for your spot.

00:39:16.858 --> 00:39:18.141
A hundred percent You're right.

00:39:18.141 --> 00:39:24.463
Last question is who do I become when I stay consistent with small promises?

00:39:24.989 --> 00:39:27.275
I become the best version of myself Amen.

00:39:27.275 --> 00:39:38.436
And if I mean, and it's all, it's not easy but, like you know, I even think about Tom Brady's, like TB12 and he's in avocados and you know mama mentality right, it's, people talk about it.

00:39:38.489 --> 00:39:54.719
But when you start talking about the habits and what it takes to do it and that mama mentality I'm reading a book with Kobe right now and he's like I will go out with players and I'll hang out with them and we'll go out till two, three in the morning, but then I wake them up at 5.00 AM and say come hang with me and we're about this business and we're going to.

00:39:54.719 --> 00:39:58.737
And that's when people realize like wait, what is that mama mentality?

00:39:58.737 --> 00:40:03.273
We can do this, but we also have to have the discipline to take care of business.

00:40:03.273 --> 00:40:08.271
And I think that's where you kind of separate the uh, the mediocre from the high achievers.

00:40:08.452 --> 00:40:14.315
Yes, and I think also when we talk about staying consistent with the small promises, these are promises you're making to yourself.

00:40:14.315 --> 00:40:30.922
You are this goes back to the self-respect earlier right and really being able to focus on the fact that I don't want to let myself down, actually, like I want to, to your point, be the best version of myself.

00:40:30.922 --> 00:40:41.623
The small promises are going to help me get there, and being disciplined is going to ultimately be the way that I get to accomplish those small promises to myself.

00:40:42.244 --> 00:40:42.646
Absolutely.

00:40:42.646 --> 00:40:45.014
And the small promises unlock big results.

00:40:45.054 --> 00:40:45.414
They do.

00:40:45.996 --> 00:40:47.420
Big results You'll see.

00:40:47.420 --> 00:40:50.670
It stack up in the little habits, the little things.

00:40:50.670 --> 00:40:51.614
It starts.

00:40:51.614 --> 00:40:52.576
You start to climb mountains.

00:40:53.157 --> 00:40:53.697
You really do.

00:40:53.697 --> 00:41:07.815
And then you, you see your, not only do you change, but you start seeing your environment to change, right, if you're a parent and you're making those small promises to yourself and you're staying consistent and you're following through, that's the example you're setting for your kids.

00:41:07.815 --> 00:41:15.161
So now they're going to emulate what you're doing, and I think that's also when we talk about like creating that next generation.

00:41:15.161 --> 00:41:19.934
Think that's also when we talk about like creating that next generation.

00:41:19.934 --> 00:41:20.577
That's one way to do.

00:41:20.577 --> 00:41:26.297
It is by being the version of the future self that you want to see, but also see for your kids as well yeah, it's hard to be what we don't see, amen.

00:41:26.679 --> 00:41:38.242
So if you want to create that habit or you want, you know, I even read some stats about how many you know kids get different things from their fathers, and I'm like man yeah, I become a father and they're like I want to be that good example.

00:41:38.242 --> 00:41:42.929
You said that I want to be that good example, but it starts now with the daily habits and the routine.

00:41:43.331 --> 00:42:13.780
And so what you're talking about is there have now been new studies that have said that children's confidence is tied to the male's interaction with their kids, and I thought that was just so powerful that you know, when we're just talking about confidence and self-respect and being able to stay consistent in those things, it can be really tied to your home environment.

00:42:13.889 --> 00:42:15.536
And it's a big responsibility, right.

00:42:15.536 --> 00:42:24.735
But again, instead of worrying about the big macro, it's the micro habits, it's the little things, it's what you're doing right now by listening and subscribing that makes the difference.

00:42:24.735 --> 00:42:27.802
To stay on that progress over perfection path.

00:42:28.150 --> 00:42:29.795
Absolutely, absolutely.

00:42:29.795 --> 00:42:32.461
So quickly to go over just what we talked about.

00:42:32.461 --> 00:42:48.378
We are talking about discipline and how you know there is a reason why motivation is fleeting and why motivation is even overrated, what discipline really means, how to build discipline step by step.

00:42:48.378 --> 00:42:51.724
And then, lastly, is some resources.

00:42:51.724 --> 00:42:53.431
And then those reflection questions.

00:42:53.431 --> 00:43:01.818
You know, take your journal out and think about those three questions that we just asked and really take the 10 minutes and write it out.

00:43:01.818 --> 00:43:04.260
And who is your future self?

00:43:04.260 --> 00:43:05.681
Write out everything.

00:43:05.681 --> 00:43:06.021
What do you?

00:43:06.021 --> 00:43:07.081
What do you want to look like?

00:43:07.081 --> 00:43:08.182
Who do you want to be?

00:43:08.182 --> 00:43:25.083
What are the values you want to set Right and really set out who you want your future self to be and then set those step-by-step, small, actionable habits to be able to get you there love that yes, thank you so much, coupley fit fam, for watching on youtube.

00:43:25.103 --> 00:43:33.394
Please like and subscribe and if not, then follow us on social media at coupley fit c-o-u-p-l-e-y-f-i-t.

00:43:33.394 --> 00:43:35.076
Bye.